Saturday, 12 December 2009

We Don’t Need No Stinking Fan Fiction Virgins…

It has come to my attention that we have a Fan Fiction Virgin or two in our midst…that just won’t do. So, with no more frivolity on my part, I gladly hand over part of my Twi-Porn Stash. Use it wisely. Use it well.

1. Of course I’ll start out with Stan’s…duh! Natural Satellites & Shooting Stars It's Post-Breaking Dawn, Renesmee has reached maturity and is living with Jacob. When a threat to their relationship arrives that neither of them has anticipated, will it interfere with the inevitability that they thought their bond held? This story is incomplete with 15 chapters posted so far.

2. Next is Jelena’s…BTW, Jelena…I am sooooooo sorry that I didn’t have you on my favorites list. You are now. I had you in my favorites on my computer, but not on The Canvas Bella is a curator and in a serious relationship. When she meets a handsome artist, her life becomes one of confusion and anguish. Will she decide to go with the comfortable familiarity of her old lifestyle, or will she jeopardize it all for an adventure? This story is incomplete with 3 chapters posted so far.

3. I popped my FF cherry with this one. Wide Awake I can’t find a synopsis for this story…you’ll just have to trust me. This story is fucking awesome! And it’s complete.

4. Ahhhh…Tattward. Clipped Wings & Inked Armor Haunted by her past Bella is broken and alone. Starting over, can she let go of the guilt that consumes her when she meets a beautiful tattoo artist or will his own personal demons destroy them first? Rated M for langage and lemons. This story is incomplete with 34 chapters posted so far.

5. When the first two lines of the story are: “Mmmmmm…” and “Touch me there…yeah, right there…” you know it’s gonna be good. Cocktails & Dreams After a wild New Year's Eve, EMT Edward Masen is desperate to find his dream woman. Too bad he doesn't remember her name. Or her face. And, if he finds her, can he keep her? AU/AH All canon pairings, cause I can't stand E&B not to be together. Complete.

6. I love me some Rich Kid and Baby Swan. This is the one where James is a Drag Queen. Mr. Horrible They meet at a gallery, from two different worlds. Watch as they learn... oh, who am I kidding here? They meet. They are opposites. They attract. Rated M for serious potty mouth and scenes of the citrus variety. Complete.

7. It’s called Edward Wallbanger isn’t that enough? Bella moves into a fantastic apartment building in San Francisco. Guess who lives next door? With walls this thin, the tension is gonna be thick...Unfortunately, this story has been put on hiatus by the author, but I still think what’s she’s got so far is worth reading.

There you are my lovelies…some of my favorites. Please note that I said SOME!! There are more, oh yes, there are more…but I’m choosing not to post them all at this time. Don’t be so greedy! I’ll post more later! I promise.

Now, go forth and read. And remember…friends don’t let friends be Fan Fic Virgins.


One last thing...I do apologize for the lack of eye candy in this post, but I'm sure Stan or Mary will make up for it later.


Z Any Mouse said...

What, you didn't have a big Uncle Sam sign pointing his big stinkin' finger at me? Okay, okay, I get the hint! (Right hand raised) I, Z Any Mouse, do hereby promise to pop my fan fic cherry as soon as possible! This event will take place no sooner than Monday, otherwise I will be busted by my family in a bad way. It must remain a secret how much time I'm actually on the computer, so the weekend is out, where I am constantly chaperoned. I promise, promise, promise!

Anonymous said...

@TwiWeasel....may I call you "The Wease?"...anyhoo...I love Jelena's story so far. I'm so glad you mentioned it.

17foreverlisa said...

Good evening (over here on this side of the pond anyway). I'm home now after a great night with my family. My recently married niece and her husband had all of us over for pizza and games. It was a blast. But to be honest, about every 15 minutes I caught myself wondering what was going on in the bloggy world. Geesh!

As I have posted here before, my path to losing my ff virginity has been a reluctant one. I have been so afraid of getting sucked into that world and losing what little sleep I do get. Plus, I have always irrationally felt like I would be cheating on Twilight Edward and Stephanie Meyer.

I popped my post ff cherry by taking a peek at JJ's Chapter 9 (it would figure it would be a lemony one) over at Twitarded. I popped my comment link ff cherry by reading Stan's Chapter 1. I popped my cherry by registering and reading Jelena's Chapter 1 (oh my!). And you'll be proud to know that I am officially no longer a ff virgin because I spent this morning rereading Chapter 1 of Stan's ff as well as Chapters 2-5. And as God is my witness, just when I was thinking I should get some work done around the house and opted to start reading Chapter 6 instead, the power went out and shut off my computer! Totally freaked me out.

@TwiWeasel - Thanks for the thorough post and ff recs. I was surprised you didn't mention CW&IA (I think that's what it's called) because I see that one mentioned a lot along with Wide Awake. At any rate, since I totally feel a kinship with you girls, I promise to finish Stan's and Jelena's first and have signed up for author/story alerts :)

@Z Any Mouse - Good luck! I'll be anxious to hear how it went for you.


Jelena said...

@Lisa - She did mention CW&IA - that's "Clipped Wings and Inked Armor" - the one I'm sooo planning to start reading.

@TwiWeasel- It's all good. I kinda feel like my story belongs to you too.

Yeah, well, I'm at my parents place, so I can't really spend a lot of time here, but lemme just tell you, hubtard and I went to see NM tonight, and I LOVED it (couldn't really experience the film the first time round cause of all that damned noise). I actually cried during the Oct/Nov/Dec scenes; of course my jaw was shaking since the breakup.

I will post Mr.Jello's opinion on the movie at a later time, cause like I said, my time on the computer is limited. Otherwise, my mother starts nagging me how I spend way too much time online, and not enough with her. I guess she's right, but that still irritates me!

TigerlilyRose said...

@TwiWeasel...What a wonderfully thorough post...they should all have something to choose from here!

@Stan...I am going to today and ordering her Mini-E. Mr. TW be damned...I have known her longer (and I mean a REALLY long

@Jelena...Sorry your FF was not on the FF recs on my blog, I didn't know the name of it, and keep forgetting to ask you. I can also read it now! I will add today!

@Lisa and Z Any Mouse...Enjoy girls! I was reluctant to, I always feel like a traitor, but once you get started you forget it is FF.

17foreverlisa said...

Wow. It must have been that Excedrine PM I took when I got home. I totally screwed up when I said TW forgot to mention CW&IA. Let's just hope I get screwed up when I finally read it ;)

Plan on finishing Stan's ff today. Can't wait to get back to yours, Jelena, but I'm still trying to cool off after that first chapter (it was that hot). And like I told Stan/Gemma in a chapter review of her ff, I'm having a hard time not feeling dirty picturing a 17-year-old Taycob. Yikes!

Speaking of Taycob, I had to DVR him hosting SNL last night because I wasn't home, so I'm going go and watch it right now.

Bye for now! Lisa

Mary said...

I've read a few of these and will definately be checking the others out asap :)
Hope everyone is well xxx

Twi-Me? said...

Hi Gals! Thanks for the reccs, here's one I just finished and LOVED it. Edward seems like a huge jerk, but it starts to make sense eventually, and of course you start cheering him on before too long. There is a prologue and 16 chapters, it is incomplete for now. It's called "The Blessing and The Curse" by The Black Arrow, and it's on Enjoy!

PS - Loved 'Wide Awake' too.

TwiWeasel said...

@ Z Any Mouse - I actually wasn't going for Uncle Sam...I was paraphrasing a line from Blazing Saddles. It's a Mel Brooks movie and if you haven't seen it, I definately suggest that you do. And I'm glad to see you didn't take offense...thought you were thicker skinned than that! (and no offense was intended) LOL
BTW, you don't have to read it all on the computer. A lot of the time, I print chapters out (at work so I don't waste my paper/ink...yeah, I'm cheap) and read them while I'm waiting to pick kids up or when I'm at home or wherever it works out.
Let us know what you start with...and let us know what you think!!

@ Mrs. P - Whatever blows your dress up, my dear. As a matter of fact, my sister in law refers to me as "Wease" in real life. A lot of my husbands family call me "Weasel." Except the one uncle *rolls eyes* he calls me "Ferret Face."

@ Lisa - Honestly, I felt the same way in the beginning. You'll find that the characters are very different from SM's Characters...especially in the All Human Fics...but usually, they still have the characteristics that made us love them in the books. It's hard to explain...I'll just say, I would love most of these stories even if the characters had totally original (Read:not Twilight) names because they ARE different characters...Does that make sense?

@ Jelena - Awwwwwwww! *tear*

@ Tigerlily - You know, it totally amuses me that you said I gave a "wonderfully thorough post." This is less than half of my favorites, and I add more all the time! I did try to get a good variety, though!

@ Lisa - Dammit!! I missed SNL! Grrrrr!

@ Twi-Me? - I've heard of that one, but I haven't read it yet. *Checks list...yep, it's on there* I've got a list about a mile long of fics I want to start, but at the moment, I'm reading 12 different stories. I'm getting better at keeping the characters straight, but sometimes I have to go back and skim a chapter before reading the new one. This is especially hard when authors take a while between chapters. Not that I'm complaining! Oh, and Wide Awake was totally awesomesauce, wasn't it?

@ All - I will post more of my favorites again soon. Maybe I'll do a post of my favorite one shots...hmmm...that sounds like fun!

TwiWeasel said...

Shit...I forgot that I wanted to mention the author's names to each story! I mean, they deserve the credit for taking the time to create these awesome works of literature...was that too much? Nah!!

Natural Satellites & Shooting Stars is by GemmaH (aka Stan)

The Canvas is by Twiholic (aka Jello Twiholic and Jelena)

Wide Awake is by angstgoddess003

Clipped Wings & Inked Armor is by hunterhunting

Cocktails & Dreams is by fatallyobsessed

Mr. Horrible is by algonquinrt

Edward Wallbanger is by feathersmmmm

Becky said...

Evening ladies. Surely we need to add Master of the Universe in there, it is a must! (apologies if it has been mentioned, I skimmed through comments whilst watching X factor final!)

Fanfic is what keeps me going, don't now how I would manage without it! lol. I think I am reading about 12 at the minute, waiting for updates is a bitch though.

Now looks like I have some more to investigate. Think its only right I start with The Canvas, since its Jelena's. ( I've already read Stan's, I promise!)

Z Any Mouse said...

@TwiWeasel - definately no offense taken (but it was like the eye of Sauron shining on me, lol), the honesty is what I love about you guys! I watched Blazing Saddles with my boys not too long ago. It's so great when they become old enough to enjoy innapropriate movies together, and they loved it. That's a good suggestion about printing it off, so it becomes portable fanfic. I'll keep you posted on which one I choose, but I'm leaning towards Wide Awake. I've been hearing about that one for a while (107 years).

Becky said...

Right, X factor has finished and I have read the comments properly.

@TwiWeasel - glad its not just me who is addicted to Fanfic! I usually have to read the last chap too, just to remind me whats happening. so many Fanfics, so little time.. sigh....

Becky said...

@Z any Mouse - oohh good choice! Its awesome and is finished, which is always a bonus!

Stan said...

Hi ladies

Thanks for putting NS&SS on the list :o).

This was a fab idea TwiWeasel, I think we should do a weekly fanfic post, maybe on a Monday starting next week. I've got some rec's too :o)

Oh, and here's my confession - I've never read a one shot!

Right, off to do the calendar, just realised I've not done it today, oops!

Becky, what did you think of the X-Factor result? Me & Mary were rooting for Olly. It was the tight trousers that did it ;o) x

TwiWeasel said...

@ Becky - Don't worry...MOTU will be rec'd in one of the next posts. As I said, I only dipped into my Twi-porn stash, and I've got some seriously awesome shit in there!! And now that Stan has some of her own recs (one of which might just be MOTU) we've at least doubled the goodness!
And yes, I am seriously addicted to Fan Fic...sometimes I choose to read FF instead of checking the blog...Sorry. *hangs head*

@ Z Any Mouse - LOLOL at "it was like the eye of Sauron shining on me!" I think Wide Awake is an awesome cherry popper...if I do say so myself.

@ Stan - Awesome idea! You're next then, eh? And I'll be sending you a link for one of my very very very very very fave one shots. (Don't worry everyone else, I'll post it here, too...eventually!)

Stan said...

Cool, will look forward to that :o). Oh, and I've never even read Wide Awake yet, that's my other confession! I started it once, I promise I'll finish it after the one I'm reading now. That could be a while though lol!

Becky said...

@stan - I do like a bit of Olly, but Joe has got a fab voice.

@TwiWeasel - I packed my youngest off to pre-school last week and read fanfic for the whole day! Spent the next hour rushing round tidying before Mr B came home!!

Stan said...

PMSL Becky, welcome to my world!!!

Becky said...

@stan - you too? lol. I can't even say it was the first time I did it!

Stan said...

Yep, only I'm worse, my youngest doesn't even go to pre-school yet. Thank God for CBeebies ;o)

TwiWeasel said...

@ Becky - Sometimes I wish I could be sick for the day...not too bad, just bad enough that I have to stay read Fan Fic aaaaalllllll day long.

@ Stan - WTF is CBeebies?

17foreverlisa said...

@All - *waves hello* I went to see New Moon this afternoon (7th time) and still can't get enough of the Remember Me trailer or the too brief Robward screen time. I can't wait for that baby to come out on DVD so that I can watch all of the Robsten kissing scenes over and over and over again (and pause on Robward standing in the doorway in Italy). When he moans into her mouth in the birthday kissing scene? Gah!!!

I also spent entirely too much time on my latest post. I didn't get to any ff like I thought I would. *sigh*

Later, girlies!


NibbleitPattinsonakaNebilet said...

@Twi-Weasel-I think I have read all the twi porn you've mentioned, you didn't mention Begonia's though lol. Is that finished cos I'm kinda confused about that ending. Anyway to any virgins and I'm shocked that there still are any on here haha. I did hold off on the FF for a while but gave in after people kept going on about it and now I'm hooked, totally.

Stans FF is brilliant I love it and so is Jelena's, she is a lemon queen lol

Drgnflygrl said...

Any idea why Edward Wallbanger is on hiatus? I love that story. It's steamy but also very well written.

Stan said...

@ Drgnflygrl, I've got it on my list but haven't read it yet (currently reading Tropic of Virgo, which I'm loving!), but got this from Twilighted:

by feathers_mmmm:

"Until further notice, Edward Wallbanger is on temporary hiatus. It might only be a few weeks, it might be another month or two. But I am getting so many emails and PM's about when the next chapter is coming, I felt it only right to speak directly to you all.

I have some personal shit going on right now that I need to take care of, and rather than tell you constantly that the next chapter is coming (heh heh , I said coming) I would rather let you all know now so you aren't pissed when I can't deliver.

I adore this story, and I am def planning on finishing it. I know exactly where these crazy kids are all headed, and I promise we will all get there together. I just need some time for now to work some shit out, and then when we all get together to play again, we will be in mother fucking Tahoe."

For anyone following Natural Satellites & Shooting Stars, I just added the next chapter this afternoon - it's another shit-hitting-fan-er!

17foreverlisa said...

@Stan - So what time is it across the pond anyway? I got my email alert this morning that a new chapter had been added. Congrats. Can't wait to pick up where I left off (Chapter 6). Hopefully tonight.


Stan said...

Hi Lisa

The comment times on here should be right for the UK now, it just nearly 5.30pm. What is your time difference with us? I don't even know whereabouts you are!

17foreverlisa said...

@Stan - Amazing. It's a six-hour difference then because it's 11:30am here (I'm at work!). I live in the heart of the Midwest – Taylor Ridge, Illinois, to be exact. If you Google the Quad Cities in Illinois and/or Iowa, that's close enough. We live practically on the banks of the Mississippi River that splits Illinois and Iowa. I'm about three hours away from Mary at The Cougar's Den, who is also from Illinois. She's the only other Twihard blogger I've run across in my neck of the woods.

Drgnflygrl said...

Thank you Stan! So glad Edward Wallbanger isn't forgotten about. Can't wait for the action in Tahoe...
For a recommendation, one I'm really liking right now is Eye Contact by silver sniper of night. It was kind of hard to get into the first couple of chapters but I am def hooked now.

StarlitViolets said...

Hi ladies!

I am a FF newbie for sure. After an amazing recommendation, I'm now 8 chapters into CW&IA. I'm hooked already and haven't even hit the lemony parts. :) And now I know the Lemon-Queen is Jelena, so I'll be looking hers up soon, cuz I'm just that dirty.

I've also been reading JJ's 15 Step. I'm super excited that Stan is writing FF. I'm SO going to add it to my ever-growing list of FFs I must read.

@TwiWeasel - THANK YOU for putting together such a great post. I love that you gave a short synopsis with each one. Brilliant!

@Z Any Mouse - LOL! I completely agree about the kids being old enough to watch inappropriate movies. My daughter is now making the foray into things I like too. :)

Twilove1 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Twilove1 said...

@Twiweasel - I love several of the fics you listed and really appreciate the new recs. I have so many stories favorited that I think the only way I'm ever going to get to them all is to neglect my family and completely give up sleep. Damn, but it will be worth it.

@Stan - Thanks for letting me know where my the wallbanger has been. It's been too quiet around here lately without him.

@ all FanFic Virgins - Come join us on the dark side. There are plenty of cookies, cupcakes, and lemons for all. You won't regret it!