Saturday, 31 October 2009

The Valium Vampire?? RPattz interview in The Sun (UK)

I nearly spat my coffee out this morning as I turned the page in my newspaper to find Rob gazing back at me!

Anyway, thought I'd share.  Thoughts on the 'Valium Vampire' title though? LOL!

Click pics to read :o)

Friday, 30 October 2009

Tw-I'm back!!!


First things first people:

21 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excited, much?  Moi?! *sigh*

So, yes, I'm back from deepest, darkest Wales.  Sad to report I didn't get to track Rob's Haunted Airman down, quite thankful really, not sure I could have dealt with the spiders.  I also feel I've achieved something - 5 days without the internet, go me!  Ok, so actually after a day I caved and called my phone company to ask why the internet wouldn't work on my phone.  They managed to sort it out for me, so of course the first thing I did after I checked my emails, was here.  And then I got scared.  The fit to the screen was all wrong so I was doing my best to scroll round to try and read what TwiWeasel had been writing in my absence, but it verged on impossible.

That's when I had to text Mary to tell her that I thought my phone had a crossed connection somehow, I mean, surely that couldn't be the word 'necrophilia' could it?!  LOL!  Sadly, I knew it probably was, thank God she hadn't given all my thoughts on the matter away though, like the benefits of rigor mortis, the fact he'd be pale and cold, but you'd need to pack your own glitter...erm, sorry, did I actually type that then?

*ahem*, so, moving swiftly on...

Thanks to TwiWeasel (I think ;o)) for holding the Edbrella up here. I find it impressive that her and Mary are well on their way to making Mary's fiery fadge a household name!

So, my break was nice.  We stayed in a cottage with an old friend of ours from university, her other half and his children.  Thankfully Twi was not off the conversation list as my friend is up to date on the books and my Twitardedness (and she actually thinks it's funny and not embarrassing, which is always a bonus in company!).  Her partner's daughter is 15 and also into Twilight - although it is a fine line I feel, when dealing with teenagers, not to scare them too much and, to be honest, I'm not sure I managed it.

A highlight for me was when the girls went to the cinema to see Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant.  We walked into the foyer of the cinema and....


There he was...Edward...hanging from the ceiling on a banner that must have been 9 feet high *swoon*.  So, of course, I got my phone out to text Mary, who suggested I steal it.  Hmm. If only!  Then, on the way to the screen, we spotted a cutout at the other end of the corridor, which we ear marked for a visit after the film.

So, as we got seated, there was some stirring in my bag and some little heads popped up to check out the movie vamp competition:

Chimpsten found just the thing to perfect her look, in the pick n mix.

As we sat there waiting for the lights to dim I rattled off another text to Mary: 'Hope the trailer doesn't come on, might piss my pants ;)'.  And then I stopped.  I'd been joking, but actually I suddenly realised that, actually, there was a very good chance that the trailer would be shown.  Shit.  I hadn't thought of this, I wasn't mentally prepared.  I suddenly needed a wee, no chance I was going now though, if it was on I'd miss it.  Fuuuuuck, I might actually, really piss my pants.

Then it came on!!! YAY!!  And I didn't piss my pants!!! YAY!!
I popped my Big Screen Edward cherry and my heart hammered so hard that I didn't really take much of it in, which also makes me panic a bit about the 20th November.  I know I'm going to come out of the cinema and want to watch it again straight away because it went by so quickly *sigh*.  What did make me laugh though was that I'd shown the 15yr old the photos I'd done for my version of the trailer on here.  She'd never seen that trailer before, but the moment it came on in the cinema she recognised it from my pics PMSL.

So, the rest of the holiday was ok (obviously that was the highlight ;o)).  Bit of a stressful moment yesterday, shown here in pictures:

Aww, look!  Harry & Edward :o)

Hang on, where are you off to H?  Come back!  Nooooo, not the--

...puddle.  *sigh*

Hope you've all had a good week too, I've missed everyone xx

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

I am so screwed…in the head

Everything makes me think of Twilight or, more specifically, the fuckhawtness that is one Mr. Robert Pattinson. Sorry, but my PattzWhore status is shining through here. (Wait a minute, I am NOT sorry!)

Tattoos, piercings, the word “kitty” and cupcakes = Clipped Wings & Inked Armor = Tattward = Robert Pattinson

Baseball = Twilight = Robert Pattinson

Elevators, neckties, office windows and stairwells = The Office = Beautiful Bastard = Robert Pattinson

Curious George = I Love L.A. = George = Robert Pattinson

ANYONE running their fingers through their hair = Robert Pattinson

Any kind of hat = Rob’s Beanie = Robert Pattinson

One of my Hubby’s nicknames for me is “Beauty” = Mr. Horrible = Rich Kid = Robert Pattinson

He called me Kitten in bed = Wings & Inked Armor = Tattward = Robert Pattinson

Mary’s Firey Fadge (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, visit ) = Sex on Fire = Many, many Robert Pattinson videos

Guns = When Mr. Stan asked me if he could borrow one to shoot…Robert Pattinson (He was joking, please don’t hurt him. I wouldn’t want Stan to be left a Widow with three small children. At least, he better have been joking.)

And last, but not least, I looked at a friend’s sonogram picture and this is what I saw:


*sigh* FML

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

While Stan’s away, TwiWeasel will play…

OK, let me begin by saying that this is my first ever attempt at writing for a blog…doing more than just posting comments, I mean. Anyone can do that, and anyone does. I do, frequently, ‘nuff said. But Stan’s off enjoying herself in Wales, where they apparently don’t use vowels, and has handed me the hypothetical keys to her blog. For some reason, the crazy bitch trusts me not to fuck this thing up. *gulp*

So I thought, what can I write about? What hasn’t been written about a gazillion times before? What is something new and fresh and fun? And you know what I came up with? Not a freakin’ thing, that’s what.

Then I thought about a chat I had with Stan shortly before she left, and shortly after she asked if I would like to baby sit her blog. We were discussing possible blog ideas for while she was gone, and she had told me, “I’m sure you’ll come up with something.” Gee, thanks. No pressure or anything. That was when I told her that maybe I would just copy and paste our discussion into blogger, and that would be good enough for a post. I mean, we talk about some weird shit, let me tell ya, and I figured it would be entertaining enough.

No, I’m not actually going to paste our totally goofball chat here for everyone to read…first off, I didn’t save it, and second off, a lot of it would probably not make sense to anyone other than Stan and me. (Except Mary, of course. For some reason, she totally gets me.) Anyhoo, the point is, our conversations tend to be all over the map, and it gave me an idea...I will (briefly) examine how much I have changed since becoming a Twitard.

Let me backpedal just a little first…I’m fairly new to the Twi-World. I mean, I had never even heard of Twilight…at all…until my oldest daughter (eight years old, at the time) bought the movie for herself with her left-over Christmas money. That was probably mid-April. I watched it with her, and I have to say, I was unimpressed. I asked my daughter, “who’s that boy playing Edward? He’s kinda familiar…oh, he’s the boy who played Cedric Diggory. Cool.”

Cedric Diggory

And Twilight was promptly forgotten...until the beginning of May, when my darling daughter (remember to read this like a whiny, angst ridden pre-tween) just HAD to have the book Twilight, or she would DIE!! I told her that I would buy it for her, but I would read it first. After all, I had seen the movie, and while it was pretty tame, I realize that books usually go into a lot more detail than the movie. She agreed, I bought the book for her…and the rest, as they say, is history. I was hooked by page three.

So now, here I sit, six months after being introduced to Twilight…a completely different woman. One who may still be unimpressed by the movie, but for some reason, cannot get enough of it…One who no longer looks at Robert Pattinson as the boy who played Cedric Diggory (or as merely a boy, for that matter)…One who has conversations that go something like this:

“You know what I learned from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?”
“No, what.”
“I would totally consider Necrophilia.”
(By the way, my contribution was the “no, what?” part.)

For some reason, the thought of Necrophilia and Robert Pattinson, isn’t so gross…is it? Please don’t answer that. I may have mentioned in that same conversation that I would walk a mile over broken glass in my bare feet, just to the lick the place where he sat. I also may or may not have been kidding. I have a Rob Porn file. I have pictures of Mr. Pattinson hung up in my laundry room (inside the cabinet doors so Mr. TwiWeasel doesn’t get too jealous.) I have a beautiful picture of Rob as my desktop background at work. I used to come home for lunch and read a book while I ate, now I come home and read Fan Fiction while I eat. Which reminds me of an e-mail I received the other day. It was full of angst, (much as my life is if I can't get my daily dose to PattinPorn.)


WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I SWEAR I thought the Office was a completed story!!


Oh my CHRIST! I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach! Can't.breathe.

Yep, I totally understood how she felt. I felt the same way when I read it…hope this picture helps to get you through your angst while you wait.


Where was I going with this...oh yes, the point is, my life now centers on all things Twilight. And by Twilight, I mean Rob Pattinson. And by Rob Pattinson, I mean sex. *sigh* What have I gotten myself into? By simply trying to protect my innocent little girl, I have become a…a…TWI-WHORE!!! (And I’m damn proud of it.)

Oh, and by the way, Stan...I hope I didn't disappoint you (too much.) Miss you.

Saturday, 24 October 2009

Another traumatic separation

Well, it's the school half-term holiday here now and tomorrow we're going away to Wales for a few days with friends.  It's been arranged for months and I've really been looking forward to it.  Until, that is, a couple of weeks ago when I spoke to my friend about it.
  "So," I say.  "We can get the internet at the cottage can't we?"  I have to admit that the internet is so huge a part of my life that, stupidly, I'd never even considered until this moment that the answer was always likely to be no.  Which it was.  I tried to suppress the panic and managed to stop rocking in the corner after about half an hour  remain calm.

So, tomorrow we're off here:


Pretty, isn't it?  Apart from the fact that this pic obviously wasn't taken in October.  Oh, and that it's not nearly as pretty as this:


which is what I WANT to be able to look at for the next five days *sigh*.  I guess it'll also give my Twymen the break from the New Moon clips it needs to begin healing.

There is a chink of hope though.  While I was preparing this post I discovered that The Haunted Airman is set in Wales (yep, the spider pic freaked me out enough to mean I hadn't looked into this film further than the pics).  Well, I know that Wales is whole country, but it's not that big, and I have this:


Really, how hard is it going to be to track that place down?


"Hmm, where's Stan?  She said she'd be here three days ago..."

Of course, I'm not completely stupid.  I realise that there's a slight chance that I may not be able to find him and, I'll be honest with you, the thought of not being able to give him his bath does upset me more than I care to admit.  That's why I'm planning on taking every single bloody Twilight item I own that I can fit in the car.  I'm already concerned about exactly quite how I'm going to manage it, but I figure that the kids can get by in the clothes on their backs for five days, right?

So, if anyone sees us on our journey, give us a wave.  What do you mean how will you know it's us?  Don't worry, I think you'll be able to tell....


"No Stan, we're NOT going back for the Edbrella..."

Quick plug for myself too - Chapter 4 of my FanFic 'Natural Satellites & Shooting Stars' is now posted up :o)

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Copy of 'It's Not Your Fault' anyone?

Just thinking it might be worth me trying to get hold of a copy of the book from 'How to Be' for my youngest now.  The past couple of days have, frankly scared the bejaysus out of me - although I have managed to keep it hidden quite well with all my laughter.

It's been a source of amusement to me for a while now, that my 2yr old son knows 'Bob' and will point him out and say his name.  It's also got quite serious once when we had a tug of war over my Twilight bookmark with him crying out 'Bob! Bob!' as I tried to snatch it back form his chocolatey hands.  Yesterday, however, I feel we may have crossed a line.

Now how could this have happened?  I'm sure that I don't expose them to too much of my Rob obsession, I mean, we're a pretty normal family.  The oldest two play football each week, here's my eldest with his 'player of the week' trophy:


Everybody's kitchen walls look like this, right?

And I think they look quite normal.  For example, here's Harry, the cause of my current concerns:

Just got my regular clothes & beanie on in the house...

So, my concerns began yesterday andm I have to admit I was more than a little amused by it.  Harry was, under very close supervision, looking at my New Moon Movie Guide when he came to a picture of Edward & Bella.  He pointed to Edward and said "Bob!".  Aww, doesn't it make you swell with pride?!  Then he pointed to Bella and said...."Mummy!"  OMG, I had a friend here too and din;t know whether to laugh or be embarrassed.  I laughed.  Then I swore that I hadn't taught him to do it (TRUE!).

Then, yesterday afternoon he embarked on this little public display of affection




Yep, he actually did kiss Rob, and nope, he didn't learn it from me.  I don't do that.  Well, not with the kids in the room anyway.

Today I decided to erm, expand and update Rob corner a little.  All was going well and Harry was most appreciative until I took my Twilight poster down to replace it with a New Moon one.  Then he went mad, shouting "BACK! BACK!".  I giggled nervously before trying to calm him down.
  "It's ok look, I've got this new one to put up" 
*unroll it to show him*

Worrying, I think you'll agree.  Oh, and he's been doing the Bella/Mummy thing all day again too.

Maybe it's time to tone things down a little, before he grows into Art in How To Be??!


"Dr Ellington?  Yes I'd like an advance booking for my 2yr old please..."

Sunday, 18 October 2009

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

I was merrily trawling my way through Twitardia last night when something on Twitter caught my eye:


Full story here TWITARDED GREATNESS! go and read and send some support if you haven't already.

WTF?  I can't even begin to put into words how wrong I think this is of Summit, I completely agree with everyone who has commented and shown support to JJ & STY over this.  Oh, and I can't wait for Summit to ban everyone apart from them using words beginning with 'Twi' seeing as these make up about half of my basic vocabulary these days. 

So, what next?  We've had an emergency summit (oh shit, am I even allowed to call it that?) this morning.  Mini Edward, Mini Jacob and I decided that Chimpsten could be next.  We're worried that Summit might spot her in the mighty New Moon remake trailer here and decide she's theirs. 

After much discussion we decided there was only one option, so we've *whispers* concealed her in the attic, Anne Frank Style.

Mini Jake & Mini Edward say a heart-wrenching goodbye to Chimpsten. 


Poor Chimpsten :o(.  Hopefully Summit will show that they have some common sense and withdraw all this crap at some point and Chimpsten will be able to come back out of the attic, blinking in the sunlight *sigh*.

Either that or PG Tips will find out that I've been using their promotional monkeh and they'll be on us too!

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

A day in the life of a TwiMerch Whore

I was dropping the kids off at school this morning when a friend came over and told me that I had to go to eBay and put in 'Edward' and 'flip-flops'.  I swear, the Twilight merchandise machine is well and truly in overdrive! 

So I've done my research and I introduce you to a day in the life of a TwiMerch Whore:

My alarm goes off (gap in the market here folks, no Twi alarm clock that I could find!) I wake up and roll out of bed.

I straighten my pyjamas,


reach over to the hook beside the door


and unhook my bathrobe


pushing my feet into my slippers.


I get in the shower (sorry folks, it's that shower curtain again ;o))


where I use my soap,




and shampoo to get clean.


I dry myself off with my towel


then noticing that I cut my leg with the razor I reach for a tissue, dabbing the blood away


before I reach for the plasters.


I glance up at the clock


then go to get dressed.


I start to put my socks on


but then decide to wear my flip-flops instead.


Finally I fasten my watch onto my wrist.


I head downstairs and make myself a coffee,


a glass of orange juice


and a plate of toast.

When I've finished I wash the pots and dry them with my teatowels.


I sit down and log onto the blogs.



Phew!  Those pics of RPattz are a bit hot!  Better turn my desk fan on...


I check my diary for the day,


Hmm, nothing planned, think I'll do a spot of shopping.  I get my pen
and write a list on my notepaper.


I finish wrapping a parcel for posting with my parcel tape (prize for the most random branded item goes to this one!)

I get my bag,


make sure I have my phone,


my Cullen Crest purse


and my business card holder (you never know who you might bump into!).

I pick up my lunch,
my Edbrella - it looks like rain :o)


and my keys
and head out to my car.


Mmmm, that new air freshener smells lovely!


Sheesh, who'd have thought it, the shops have Christmas stuff in already!


Hmm, am a bit exhausted after all that, think I need a lie down.  Right here will do, shift your fags over love