Sunday, 4 October 2009

That's not my vampire...

So, I'm mum to three young children and, whilst I think there are some fantastic children's books out there, they can get a bit dull on, ooh, about the 30th or so read through.  I started wondering why publishers don't add a bit more content for the female bedtime reader out there.  I don't think this is sexist, I just know that at this house I'm the preferred story-reader seeing as Mr Stan tends to read to the kids as though he's scanning a washing machine repair manual for a relevant section.

Anyhoos, here is my proposal, a new title for the Usborne 'That's not my...' series, 'That's not my vampire'. 

And look - it says it's Touchy-Feely! ;o)

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The eyebrows look about right though...



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This is where the touchy-feely bit gets interesting....



"What do you mean you want to go to sleep now?  I think we can read it just one more time..."

13 comments:

Twinatic said...

OME, this is fantastic, I think I'm in love with you Stan!

Twinatic said...

Angelus

This is not my Vampire, his face is too boney

(although he's not my twilight vampire, he was my first vamp overall)

Twinatic said...

That's not my vampire

Selene

It's eyes are too blue

Twinatic said...

That's not my vampire

Lost Boys

It's ... just ... all wrong!

TwiWeasel said...

I want RPattz to read this to me right before we go to bed...that's right...I said WE.

Stan said...

@ Twinatic, thank you very much! I'm afraid it's a little early in our relationship for my own declarations of love but I'll certainly bear it in mind ;o). Lol at your other vamps too!

@ TwiWeasel, yeah yeah, with fast forwarding to the touchy feely bits, am I right?!

TwiWeasel said...

@ Stan - you know me too well...

Twichotic said...

Stan, you are hilarious! I want this children's book...and I don't even have kids!

So, when we do special rush order this book, do we get to pick which part we want to touch and feel??? Heh, heh.

Keep on bringing us these brilliant gems!!

TwiNabler said...

I actually have tears I was laughing so hard....My daughter's favorite book was That's not my dinosaur!!!

I think that I might have to have a little vampire movie party now after seeing all my favorite men!!!

Z Any Mouse said...

How about "Are You My Vampire?" (re: Are You My Mother?) You are not my vampire, you are a wolf! You are not my vampire, you are a human! You are not my vampire, you are Volturi! You are not my vampire, you are a SNORT! etc.

TwiNabler said...

@ Z any Mouse - OMG....I can't believe you said that! My friends and I have a blog called Twisoup. We have a thing for Dirty Seuss.....You are not my mother is a current project! If you by any chance see it posted I hope you aren't offended...I don't want you to think I may have boosted the idea from you!!! Green eggs and Ham was our first blog!

Stan said...

@ TwiNabler, I loved your Green Eggs & Ham blog, it cracked me up! Genius! Glad you're on with the 'Are You My Mother?' one because I've never heard of it lol.

Z Any Mouse said...

@TwiNabler I am so honored!