Tuesday, 13 October 2009

A day in the life of a TwiMerch Whore

I was dropping the kids off at school this morning when a friend came over and told me that I had to go to eBay and put in 'Edward' and 'flip-flops'.  I swear, the Twilight merchandise machine is well and truly in overdrive! 

So I've done my research and I introduce you to a day in the life of a TwiMerch Whore:

My alarm goes off (gap in the market here folks, no Twi alarm clock that I could find!) I wake up and roll out of bed.
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I straighten my pyjamas,

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reach over to the hook beside the door

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and unhook my bathrobe

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pushing my feet into my slippers.


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I get in the shower (sorry folks, it's that shower curtain again ;o))

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where I use my soap,

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washcloth

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and shampoo to get clean.

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I dry myself off with my towel

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then noticing that I cut my leg with the razor I reach for a tissue, dabbing the blood away

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before I reach for the plasters.

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I glance up at the clock

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then go to get dressed.

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I start to put my socks on

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but then decide to wear my flip-flops instead.

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Finally I fasten my watch onto my wrist.

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I head downstairs and make myself a coffee,

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a glass of orange juice

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and a plate of toast.
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When I've finished I wash the pots and dry them with my teatowels.

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I sit down and log onto the blogs.

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Phew!  Those pics of RPattz are a bit hot!  Better turn my desk fan on...


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I check my diary for the day,

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Hmm, nothing planned, think I'll do a spot of shopping.  I get my pen
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and write a list on my notepaper.


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I finish wrapping a parcel for posting with my parcel tape (prize for the most random branded item goes to this one!)
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I get my bag,

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make sure I have my phone,

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my Cullen Crest purse

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and my business card holder (you never know who you might bump into!).
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I pick up my lunch,
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my Edbrella - it looks like rain :o)

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and my keys
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and head out to my car.


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Mmmm, that new air freshener smells lovely!

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Sheesh, who'd have thought it, the shops have Christmas stuff in already!


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Hmm, am a bit exhausted after all that, think I need a lie down.  Right here will do, shift your fags over love
....
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16 comments:

Robinn said...

I had no idea. Sadly, I think I will have to live without the socks and the bedding. Thank you for saving me from having to do this research myself! I might have to have the towels, though...

veri word: banje - Rob might take banjo lessons????

Mrs. P said...

Awesome post!!!! Phew...that took a lot of work!!

Stoney said...

Bwuhahahahahaha!!!
Awesome.
I fucking LOVE...repeat...fucking love the bedazled sparkly fan. Totally want that shit for my desk at work.

Stan said...

You could have a sign for it saying 'I'm a Twilight fan' ;o)

TwiWeasel said...

*hangs head* Im ashamed to admit that I actually do not own any Twi-Merch. I have bought a couple of things for my daughter. I'm afraid of opening up that can of worms...

Stoney said...

@Stan - HAHAHAHA Twilight 'FAN' Juuuust snorted water through my nose. IT BURNS IT BURNS!!!

You know I am tempted as SHIT to buy that shower curtain just so I can do a blog about it. Is that sad? I think that's sad.

TwitardedMom said...

Another wonderful post. My hubby is wondering why I'm laughing so much. Gotta get me some of those. Especially the flip flops. LOL

Where can I find that notepad???

Stan said...

@ TwiWeasel, yes, you should hang your head in shame! I can't believe you don't even have a roll of New Moon packing tape ;o)

@ Stoney, if you're going to keep snorting liquids then you'll be needing that shower curtain to drape around yourself! Actually *whispers* I don't think it's as creepy as some people do, if I had a shower rail I'd be getting one, just to piss Mr Stan off even more muhahaa!

@ TwitardedMom, I spend nearly all my internet time laughing now since I discovered the Twogs (have decided as I went to write it that 'Twilight Blogs' sounds too clumsy) out there. Poor Mr Stan spends whole evenings alternating between giving me pitying and withering looks lol.

The notepad is available from here: http://lobotome.com/pages/notepads.html
I remembered JJ & STY mentioning it so went looking for it deliberately for this.

I didn't think to put in a magazine style 'where you can buy this item' bit. Want the link for the Edward Cullen slippers knitted from real pubic hair anyone? ;o)

Z Any Mouse said...

@Stan - Are you serious about the pube slippers? Ewww! I thought it was bad when I saw a booth at a craft show where you could get your pet's fur spun into a skein of yarn, and knit yourself a poncho. I think the only thing you missed was the "Twilight Frost" fabric line from Connecting Threads. Talk about capitalizing on the here and now. I do love the flip flops. They could be worn out in public and don't completely scream "Twilight Dork!".

P.S. It's been raining here in SoCal for two days. Can I borrow your Edbrella?

Stan said...

@ Z Any Mouse, of course I'm kidding lol, although I assume they're not actual pubes, I didn't bother to read the description and they do look very pubic. I hate the thought of wearing pet hair, makes me itch to think about it!

Z Any Mouse said...

I don't know, maybe it is true about the pubes. Have you seen some of the ridiculous stuff on Etsy?

Stoney said...

What do you biatches have against pube wear? It's the hottest thing on the runways right now. I'm wearing my pube scarf and my pube hat right now as I type. Really pubetastic...you shouldn't judge.

Stan said...

PMSL! That sounds like such a good look. Just wondering, does the overall individual curliness of the pubes make the whole scarf into one mahoosive pube shape?

Stoney said...

Why yes. I call it my 'gigantor pube' scarf. I look very fierce. And I actually have matching gloves that make my hands look like two wooly vaginas.

Stan said...

LMFAO!! I'd so love to see a pic of that ensemble! ...I think :oS ;o) x

TwiWeasel said...

OH MAH GAWD!! Ewwwww! I don't think I'd like to wear a pube scarf or Wooly-vajayjay looking gloves. Although, if they were really RPattz's pubes, I might want to smell them. TMI?

Muahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!