Thursday, 31 December 2009

Thank you for being Edbrella's Ho's :o)

This is TwiWeasel's fault.  She sent me a challenge a few days before Christmas asking me to fit various Twi-related things into the 12 days of Christmas.  I'm afraid to say that due to lack of time and brain-drain thanks to rattling off 2,500 words of Jingle Balls a night, I failed to deliver.

So, instead I've done this little tribute to you all, to the tune of The Golden Girls theme (like the I Love LA (RIP) reference?!).

Thank You for Being a Friend Ho

Thank you for being a Ho
I love you lots, just so you know
Your mouth is filthy, you're a pal and a twatwaffle

I'm not ashamed to say
You dirty fuckers always make my day
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

And if you threw a party
Invited every ho you knew
You would see, the sparkle peen would be from me
and the card attached would say
Thank you for being a Ho

Thank you for being a Ho
Thank you for being a Ho
Thank you for being a Ho

If it's RPattz you lack
I'd surely share my Twi-photo crack
Whatever you need, anytime of the day or night

I'm not ashamed to say
You dirty fuckers always make my day
My hat is off, won;t you stand up and take a bow

And when RPattz gets older
With walking cane and sex hair of grey
If we could, we'll agree we both still would
And I'll stand real close and say
Thank you for being a Ho

*Wipes a tear away* thanks Ho's, I couldn't even imagine when I set up this outlet for my inane ramblings that I'd get to ramble with two other such fab Ho's and make friends with another great group.  And as for having people signing up to follow, I really didn't expect that and it's fab!  If you read us but have never posted in the comments we'd love to hear from you, even if it's just a hello, c'mon, join in the fun!

Ok, another couple of bits & pieces.  It was Christmas Day last Friday so we didn't post our Friday Fun Five.  I was here but guessed most of you might be busy doing other stuff LOL.  And then I forgot all about it in true Stan fashion, so here's what TigerlilyRose had to say about the results of her FFF questions a couple of weeks ago (if you want to refresh your memory after all the Christmas food and drink then it was posted here:

This was tough! The winner is Jelena for her admission of wanting to grope Alice on the life raft and her answers to number 5.

5. I'd totally do it. Even if I shagged Rob in private, everyone would hear about it, cause I'd be bragging my ass off. :D

I figure if she is willing to take one for the team here, she should win...maybe she will get a semen sample and we can have a Rob clone TOO!

So, Jelena, it's your turn to come up with the next Friday Fun Five questions.  I know you said on the other post that you have your brother staying, so I'll leave it up to you whether you want to get them to one of us for posting tomorrow or next Friday, either is fine :o)

And finally, sometimes the Gods just hand you a gift.  This time it was in the form of Christmas cards from my sister.  I had one and my Mum had one that I stole something off when I was visiting without even telling her, muahahahahaaaa!

And here's the result!

Yes, that's right!  Mini-E has his very own set of Jingle Balls! Wooooohoooooo!!  How fantastic is that?!  Oh, how I laughed as I blu-tac'd them in place then gave them a shake!  Of course, Mr Stan and Full Size Edward looked on disapprovingly, but I knew you Ho's would love it. 

One last thing....

(As usual I have no idea where I pilfered this from, no offence intended, please get in touch if you'd like crediting, and thank you!)

Happy New Year's Eve Ho's!

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Guess what Mini-E gave Chimpsten for Christmas???

So Mini-E's Christmas pressie for Chimpsten was a couple of days late, but it was soooo worth it, she loves it!

We visited my parents for a couple of days and he found the perfect thing for her in the depths of my old room...

Yep, Mini-E gave Chimpsten her very first unicorn!

Aww, they even managed to find a gazebo in the new Christmas toys!

I've never seen Chimpsten so happy ;o)!

Hope you're all well, any special plans for New Year's Eve?

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

What day is it????????

I'm sick of asking myself that or hearing someone else ask me! I don't frigging know, i've lost track of the days!

They all blur into one don't they?! Drink, food, more drink etc.

Anyway I just wanted to say hi and I hope you've all had a fab christmas,  blah, blah, blah.

Ooooh my sister is in labour so all send positive labour vibes for me, ta very much :)


Monday, 28 December 2009

And I thought you Ho's were my friends. Hmph.

Yep, that's right bitches, Stan's not happy.

If you're unhappy, I'm unhappy Stan, what did the Ho's do?

Well Edward, it's more about what they didn't do.

I like fanfic.  A lot.  It's no secret.  I've read a lot of the biggies and I've recommended fics for fic virgins.  I've always recommended three for starters: The Office (RIP), Clipped Wings & Inked Armour, and Wide Awake.  Followed by the words, "I've not actually read Wide Awake but it's meant to be good."

I've even mentioned on here that I've never read it.  It's been on my list since the beginning of my fanfic days, but for no reason in particular I've just never started it.  Until yesterday.


Ok, so I don't particularly like being bossed about, but I'm a bit rubbish, my memory is virtually non-existent and I do have to be gently prodded and nudged occasionally and you would definitely have been my favourite person by now had  you been the one Ho with enough about you to stand up and say:

"Hey, Stan!  Get your Edbrella over to Wide Awake and get that fucker read!"

So, now I'm going to stand up and say:

"Hey, Ho's!  If any of you haven't read Wide Awake *looks pointedly at Lisa* get clicking on this here Wide Awake link and get that fucker read!"

Now, you better all hope that by the time I finish and get back over here, I'm in a good enough mood to have forgiven you all.

Sunday, 27 December 2009


Ok, so we're supposed to be setting off to stay with my parents for a couple of days, but we just checked the travel news and there are 2hr delays, so we're sitting them out at home before we set off.  I was wondering what to do to ease the boredom (of course, I have to sit at the 'puter so I can keep checking the travel news ;o) ), so I decided I'd come and post and attach a few of the pics from my stash for you all to enjoy.

Hope you like!

Happy Sunday :o)

Friday, 25 December 2009

Merry Christmas!

Hello ladies!

I'm probably here on my own, but I was online so thought I'd post.  I know we've done all the Merry Christmases and stuff so I won't drag that out :o)

I had the best Christmas present ever this morning when I got up and checked my story stats on  They looked like this! (Click to make them bigger).

Everything has gone ok here today.  Will has had the Playmobil Egyptians set, I already have my eye on the little camel-riding men, ready for the Egyptian vamps if Summit get their finger out next year and decide to make Breaking Dawn.

The in-laws made dinner.  I already had my mind on Elfward's jingle juice when she started making the brandy sauce, but when she dished it up and she'd also managed to make it jingle juice consistency.

The youngest is in bed now and he other two kids were playing nicely, but that brief peaceful spell seems to have passed.  Ho hum. 

I did manage to snap a Christmas portrait or two of FSE and Chimpsten in Rob corner earlier:

You're wearing a crown, a gold ribbon with a Rob card on it and you have a chimp perched on your shoulder and you dare to judge me?  Oh puhlease!

Ok, that's me done here for now, off to catch up on my fanfics!


Thursday, 24 December 2009

Jingle Balls Final Chapter!

Just updated.  I hope you've all enjoyed my lemony Christmas present to you ho's!

Merry Christmas!

Jingle Balls Final Chapter

Twi-vent Calendar for 24th December!

Happy Christmas Eve Twi-HoHoHo's and Happy Birthday Mary! A double celebration!

Mary, Tattward sent you this ;o)

Soooooo, what is on today's door?

Ooh, I do believe it's exclusive Eclipse stills!  How exciting!

So, what's behind the last door on the calendar?
ENJOY (I did!) !!!!!

(Thanks to ROBsessed for the vid :o) )

Jingle Balls Chapter 7

I'm so tired!  It's here:

Jingle Balls Chapter 7

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Merry Christmas Twi-HoHoHo's

I'm going to be pretty busy tomorrow with visitors etc , so I thought I'd take this opportunity to wish you all a fantastic Christmas. It's been ermmm emotional?! getting to know you all the last couple of months and I send you all loads of love and huggles xxxx

Enough of the soppy shit now


                                                                          Mary xxxx

Twi-vent Calendar for 23rd December and Odds & Sods!

Good morning!  Anyone want an autograph??!  I kid of course, but I am feeling rather loved today thanks to a shout out on Twitarded and also because the lovely @uhyesplease from Twitter very kindly chose Jingle Balls has her Christmas fic rec over at The Lemon Sisters.  Go on, go over and follow them, they've got lots of lemony snippets and recs for you!

While we're talking about followers, another Twitter friend of mine @Deejay025 was telling me that her parents have promised to give her money towards her LA Eclipse Premier trip that she has planned with her friend if she gets lots of followers on her blog, so head over to TwiWorld 24/7 to help her out!

Ok, so next thing is that I love my kids!  Seriously, who could not when they make things like this for you:

Rob by Ollie, age 4

Ollie: "Mum!  Mum!  Look how big Rob's hands are!  And how long his fingers are! *giggling*"
Stan: *flustered* "Erm, ok.  Do you mind if I wait 'til you're in bed befoe I give that one too much thought?"

Aww.  And that's not devil horns btw, it's his ears apparently!  There were many others to choose from in Ollie's collection, including, but not limited to, 'Rob ballerina dancing with Jake and Rob's the girl' and 'Jake with no underpants on'.  Really, I have no idea who that child gets his imagination from *whistles nonchalantly*

Rob and Mummy getting married, by Will, age 5

Will: "Look Mum, it's you and Rob getting married, you're just about to have a hug!"
Stan: *excitedly* "Aww, thank you!" Points to figure on the left. "Is that my big dress?"
Will: "No, that's his legs."
Stan: "Oh, I see now." *Bites tongue before tempted to ask if he's sure he's not sitting on a rock*

Ok, enough random stuff, let's get onto the calendar!

Today's door pic is...

Ok, so I lied about that being the end of the random stuff.

So, who's in the executive elevator with the old gal?

Oh, come on, it was only ever going to be the Beautiful Bastard, who else do you think of when you see an elevator??!!!

As always I've absolutely no idea where I got this masterpiece from 'cos I lift this shit off the interweb all the time, so contact me if you want crediting (although TBH, this type of thing is usually from far more respectable blogs than this one and I doubt the creator will be passing by this way)

2 days to go!!

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Jingle Balls Chapter 6

Get your lemons here, ho's!

Jingle Balls Chapter 6

The women of Twilight

I thought we should give them a mention *shrugs* because lets face it most of them look pretty awful in the film. When in reality they're a bunch of babes.


Nikki Reed

Ashley Greene

Christian Serratos

Anna Kendrick looks pretty much the same

Elizabeth Reaser. Stan has a problem with her head lol

Rachelle Lefevre

A bunch of babes!
Don't even get me started on the clothes they had to wear, esp Rosalies jeans *tut*