- I'm far too lazy to scroll through all the old blog posts, so these are off the top of my head from the blogs and other bits of shit I store away in my brain and mean to ask someone.
- The first one is a queef. I seriously had never heard of this before I saw it posted on here, much to The Wease's hysterical delight ;) It turns out it's what we Brits would call a fanny fart. Now I know that to our friends across the pond a fanny means something else again, so it's all very confusing!
- When I read Twilight, I had no idea what Mono was. That turned out to be Glandular Fever *tut*
- Obviously I've started writing this and my mind has gone blank so i'll just ramble on about some other bits and bobs that we say differently
- A pushchair- apparently this is called a Stroller
- A Fag is what we call a ciggarette
- A fringe is the front bit of your hair, not bangs. Where the fuck does that come from?
- A pavement is where you walk, not a sidewalk.
- Chips are fat fries, your chips we call crisps.
- A lift is what you call an elevator
That'll do for now. Please feel free to add your own in the comments xxx
here's one thing we all agree on though!!!
Here's todays start to the CFF
Carlisle was feeling very edgy. This had been going on for a while now and he couldn't quite put his finger on what was wrong. He was restless all the time and lacked concentration. He'd even been hunting more than usual, but still he didn't feel right. The only thing he could think of to settle himself didn't even bear thinking about!.....
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I'll do the next bit :o), on it's way...
Gonna do CFF later. Imma say that since is English is NOT my first language, and since I don't live in an English speaking environment, there are many words and expressions I don't get. I don't always have the energy to ask what they mean, because I am used to getting the meaning of the sentence regardless of whether I understand every word. This is actually a rather bad habit because my vocabulary would be much richer if I actually took notice of every word and expression I was unfamiliar with and asked what it meant.
Queef. LMFAO! I hadn't heard that one in awhile. Unfortunately, I'm all to familiar with mono. Danica had it in high school and, as you know, Travis just got over it.
Lisa
The only thing he could think of to settle himself didn't even bear thinking about!
He sighed as he decided to give in, and said a silent thanks that he was alone in the house and would be for some time, the girls had all gone shopping and the boys were off on one of their hunting trips. Easing open the door of the closet he slowly reached forward and gently fingered the sheer fabric of Esme's favorite skimpy robe, before lifting it to his face and rubbing the marabou against his cheek. Turning his nose into the fluffy feathers he inhaled deeply, an action he instantly regretted as one shot up his nose causing him to sneeze violently. He looked down aghast at the thick green mucous congealed in the feathers. His nose turned up in disgust and he realised that this was no longer a suitable option, he'd have to think of another way to get the inner peace that he craved. Suddenly a name popped into his head and he smiled...
Nope, no queef recognition here Mary - I had to Google it, although I didn't bother watching the YouTube vids that came up with that search once I'd ascertained what it was.
There was the recent incident on Twitter recently where I'd out I was going to put Harry in his cot which made Mrs. P wonder if I lived in a military tent. I replied that a cot was what a baby slept in. Mrs. P replied that I meant a crib. I said, no, a brib is what you put a tiny baby in, she replied that that's a bassinette. I said no, that's the attachment on a travel cot for a tiny baby and I think we both actually agreed with that. So complicated!
Obv I meant crib and not brib. Brib is probably what Americans out around a baby's neck while it has it's dinner or something :oP
@stan - there are youtube vids for'queef'!!! I find that very disturbing, ewww. Its a great word though, so much more dainty than 'fanny fart', lol!
I'm going to have a go at folowing on in the CFF, shouldbe coming shortly....
Suddenly a name popped into his head and he smiled...
Carlisle flew down the stairs and out the door, pausing only to grab his car keys. Once he was on the road, he let his mind wander to thoughts of her. She wouldn't be expecting him, he'd told her last time that it was over, he couldn't do it anymore. He imagined the look on her face, her long wavy hair, the swell of her huge breasts in the too tight tops she alwys wore. He tried hard to not to think of her voice though, it was annoying as fuck!
He soon arrived at the familiar gates and pulled up to the front door. It opened before he was full out of the car, there with her hands on her hip stood.....
@ Stan - I was there for those tweets about the crib vs. cot vs. toddler bed - it is a mess all the differences in words but it is ohhhh so much fun! The cartoon show South Park has a whole episode about queefs.
OH @ Mary - I LOVE the baby picture - that poor thing looks so lost and confused - just perfect for this post :)
Hey Dafs, how you doing chicky pie?
Queef-pmsl
@ Jelena - I try my best to help you out with your vocab via your FF (I'm getting to it, keep your hair on)!
@ Lisa - How is Travis doing? All recovered now? Has it slowed him down at all?
@ Stan - Queef videos? Ewwwww.... and a BIB is what you put around a baby/small child's neck when they eat. Or if you go eat Lobster, then you can wear a Lobster Bib. You should know what that is...there's a VF pic of Mr. Pattinson with one on! LOL
@ Becky - Yes, I think Queef is a much daintier term than Fanny Fart. LOL
@ Dangrdafnt - South Park has a whole episode about queefs...I haven't seen that one! I like the one about the Bris! Well, like is a strong term...maybe I should've said I was amused by the one about the Bris!
@ Hey Nibbles - I must be right behind you (that's what he said) on all the blogs! LOL
@ Nibbles - all is well. Got too much sleep last night (like Mrs. P the other day) and now I am off my game today.
Also have much work to do today at that dang work place :(
You are one day closer to Mini-E. I forgot to comment on your comment with the "I will love him, and kiss him, and..." My niece says that to me all the time and then I bought a stuffed monkey (long story) and named it George.
I sent my hubby your comment too and he wrote back "George Cullen has a nice ring to it." but he didn't like the "hubtard" LMAO!!!
bwahaha I'm on top of you wease!
@TwiWeasel - He's doing great. Thanks for asking. He still hasn't put all of the weight back on that he lost, but he has built his stamina back up and feels strong. He looked great pitching last Friday, so hopefully he will again on the spring training trip.
@Nibbles - How did things go today?!
FYI - I will be gone March 5-15 and will have my blog "Under Construction." I will still be checking in daily for my Twi-ho fix, though ;)
That's it its from Bugs bunny or somethong noooo animaniacs thats it...I will love him and pet him and kiss him and call him George hahaha, I love animaniacs!!! I said somethong LOL, George Cullen pmsl..
I really should apply myself to the fic but I can't get myself all sexified after the afternoon I just had. Although I guess when I woman has had her hand in my kitty (most of it it felt like anyway) then I should be excited?! No I was seeing the gynae people, I was supposed to have a coil fitted today but they can't do it and now I gotta have a hysterectomy. Joy! Not lol, I'll be ok, was a bit of a surprise kinda even though its what I wanted sorta. Weird day lol
Where you going Dafs?
@ Nibbles - I think your "where you going?" question is for Lisa?? I am not going any where except for crazy!!! but that is nothing new for me :)
Hey Lisa, sorry I swear this computer is lagging, its so weird I comment then find 5 more have been posted. As you can see it all went pete tong as they say here, pear shaped, tits up, arse over tit. They all mean wrong lol, so I gotta go in for a pre op assessment on tuesday, then I think back op is on 27th March, not confirmed yet. Saw gynae today and on list for hysterectomy, no date for that yet but in the none too distant future!
Yes Dafs, you are quite correct lol- I'm coming with you, I'm half way to crazy and heading toward full blown nuts (LOL)
Do you think the nurses will think I'm weird if mini e comes to hospital, we could play Dr pmsl
@ NIbs, I insist on mini-E going in with you. If I was closer I'd bring FSE visiting ;o)
I'm gonna make him a mini mask and stuff lol, so he can fit in, you just know he would wanna be a snatch quack!
It appears we have taken over Community Fan Fiction with Community catch up day. Here is my research for all the fun things we have talked about above so far:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054593/quotes
The quote is "I'm gonna love him, and squeeze him and call him George." It comes from the book Of Mice and Men but without the George part. You also hear it in an early Bugs Bunny cartoon (link above). And Dot from the Animaniacs says it too.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/151741
I think this links to a video of the South Park queef episode but not sure as I am at work and can’t check it for obvious reasons ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eat,_Pray,_Queef
write up about about the South Park queef episode if you can’t watch a video
Mini-E is definitely going to the hospital with you!!!
And I am off to a meeting. Sorry for the kidnapping of CFF.
Just wanted to share - I've just spent two days madly reading this fic http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5319052/1/A_Rough_Start
There's no lemons if that's your thing, but it's a beautiful story (not complete).
Oooo ok Stan i will go save that, its not all about lemons......woah....did I just say that (slaps)
we have kidnapped CFF, who do you think Becky was heading for with Carlisle setting off to meet someone-who has big boobs-apart from me LMAOOOO
See ya Dafs-one day closer whooooo!
He soon arrived at the familiar gates and pulled up to the front door. It opened before he was full out of the car, there with her hands on her hip stood.....Nibbles, her blonde hair lifting in the breeze.
"Well hello Carlisle, I knew you'd be back. You can't resist my wears can you?"
As she sashayed back up the driveway, Carlisle got back in his car and crawled after her....
As soon as he entered the dress up room Carlisle felt he had come home.
"Ok Carlista, what wig and gown shall we put you in, ooo i have a gorgeous bustier you might like to try" trilled Nibbles, stroking Carlistas face.
Suddenly the door crashed open
"Dad" yelled Edward "What the fuck is going on are you cheating on mom?"
Nibbles took a long look at the beautiful piece of man hunk that stood in the doorway his hair all over like he had spent all day in bed
"Well heeeellllllllooooo lover boy" she breathed...
@Nibbles - I'm glad things are moving along so that you get some relief soon! Keep me/us posted. And once your Pocket/Mini E arrives, he will never want to be parted from you, so start teaching him how to wash his hands for germs, etc. ;)
@Dangrdafne - Thanks for the links. I'm at work and can't check them out yet, but totally looking forward to the SP one!
@ Nibbles - what the fuck was that?!?!
@Stan and Mary I love all our different terms for things, it keeps things interesting. I like learning all the different words from over the pond. My daughter laughs at me when I use a phrase you girls say a lot. I catch myself saying "bloody" this and "bloody" that a lot more than before...LOL...I am sure I will confuse you all again at some point with an american word. I did it to Nibs in my last post with coffee creamer...so here is that def for Nibs and all you other Brit Babes!
Creamer=no dairy cream for coffee or tea. comes in powder or liquid form. tastes better than milk in my drinks in my opinion. creamy and there are flavored ones too which are sweet and yummy! We also drink milk, cream and half and half in our coffee and tea here.
OK off to read the CFF and I will add soon, will post notice I am updating before I do. It is pick on TLR day around here so I finally said fuck it, dumped some rum in my coke can and opened a bag of cadbury mini eggs for lunch. Gonna sit here on my ass the rest of the fucking day, then they can all have something to bitch about!
@ Nibbles I second TW what the fuck was that...LOL...ok well where you go I shall follow and try to fix the shit you break...LMAO
one bizzaro tranny update coming up!
Suddenly the door crashed open
"Dad" yelled Edward "What the fuck is going on are you cheating on mom?"
Nibbles took a long look at the beautiful piece of man hunk that stood in the doorway his hair all over like he had spent all day in bed
"Well heeeellllllllooooo lover boy" she breathed...
"Uck, Dad! Surely you can do better that this..." Edward looked at the loud woman with distaste.
"Oh, you have not tried anything until you have had a piece of this!" Nibbles said in the most sultry voice she had.
"Really Maybe if you can keep your mouth shut I will take you up on that. But first I want to know what the fuck you are doing with my father!" Edward growled.
"Edward. I am not having an affair on Esme. This is not what you think." Carlisle looked shamefully at the floor.
"Really, then, what the hell is it." Edward responded.
"I am his personal couturier." Nibbles chimed in.
"His WHAT!" Edward screeched.
"Son. Nibbles here is a...errr...um...dress maker."
"You are having some dresses made for Mom?"
"Ummmm, no, they are not for Mom. The dresses are for...." Carlisle sighed in defeat. "The dresses are for me."
I CANNOT believe I just had to write Carlisle as a TRANNY...damn...I had better head up to the attic and smooth things over with him!
You know where to find me! "OOOHHHH Carlisle...come here, baby...I'm sorry, Nibbles made me...let me make it up to you...that's right, unzip and I will take care of the rest......"
*sigh* I see what you mean, TLR...
Let's see what I can come up with...
"Ummmm, no, they are not for Mom. The dresses are for...." Carlisle sighed in defeat. "The dresses are for me."
Meanwhile, back at the Cullen house, trouble was brewing. With the girls shopping and the boys hunting (except Edward) Esme decided to indulge in some much needed alone time. She had been shopping with the girls earlier, but left them after the fifth store. Only Rose could keep up with Alice, so they wouldn’t be surprised that she was gone.
She roamed quietly around the house for a few moments, just treasuring the quiet. Then she slowly made her way up the stairs to the room she shared with Carlisle. Humming softly to herself, she walked into the closet, fingering her beautiful clothing. She started at the green stickiness on her hand when she touched her favorite skimpy robe.
“What the hell,” she thought, but before she could register what it was, an unfamiliar smell reached her nose. Another vampire was in the house, and it wasn’t a Cullen. It was a vaguely familiar scent, though.
Absentmindedly, she wiped her hand off on her pants as she followed the scent, locating its source.
In the hall, down the stairs, through the living room, the scent was stronger. Finally, in the kitchen, she found what she was looking for. There, seated on one of the bar stools, gloriously naked, rigid cock in hand was none other than Laurent.
“Esme,” he murmured, too low for human ears. Esme had no trouble hearing him, but was still confused. What was he doing in her house, her kitchen, and why was he naked?
OK…can’t remember who wanted some Laurent, but there ya go!! Oh, and a Meanwhile…is not cheating is it?
@TW yes Meanwhile is cheating...now which do I continue with....hmmm...thinking... might have to contemplate this for bit...anyone else want to take a stab at this one?
Oh and why in the fuck are we all so worried about Carlisle's snot? EEEEWWW! Gonna have to write in a weird vamp illness or something to explain that bizarre addition...
@ TLR - Are you serious? I really don't think it's cheating. They do it in comic books all the time!
Kids will be home soon, so I'm outta here! Good luck to the rest of you ho's!
Hey Nipps, you HAVE to take Mini E to hospital. That would be a pisser! Half your luck your fanny mechanic is a woman, mine is a man & has fingers like fucking continental sausages, ouch! Half your luck for the hysto too, mine won't come to the party for one. Yeah, it is scary though.
@Jelena at Twiholic, fascinating that english is not your first language. You do amazingly well, I couldn't imagine having to learn it. I struggle with it enough at times (especially spelling LOL!)& it's my first language!
If your're interested our Aussie names are very similar to yours even though young kids tend to speak much more "American" than us oldies. I had never heard "queef" and it's a fanny fart here too. Mono is glandular fever, push chair is stroller or pusher, fag is still ciggie also a gay person, definately fringe not bangs, footpath not pavement, chips are hot or cold and an elevator is a lift.
@ All - Can we take TwiWeasel's last paragraph in the Community Fan Fiction and make it the first for next week?? I am the one (or one of the one's if there were others) who wanted Laurent in the story but this post kind of got hijacked this week (sorry, I was part of that).
LOL! I'm loving all the Brit/American/Australian English translations! A Brit friend of mine once leant me a book that was FULL of Brit/American translations and pronunciations. It was hilarious!
I'm going to take a stab at our seriously lacking CFF now...
Ooo - good idea Daf!!! I guess I'll save my contribution for next week.
I have to do translations for my American family all the time. Like when my brother in law says he's going outside for a fag I have to explain that he's not going to pick up a gay hooker. Or that when I say someone's pissed, I don't mean angry I mean drunk. Although we have so many words for drunk here it's almost a language by itself, which confuses the poor Yanks no end.
And WTF happened to CFF this week?!
@Wease & TLR-Stan started the whole cross dressing thing off with Carlisle, she had himfingering Esme negligent in her closet and looking for inner peace lol, I just went with it haha.
@Banshee713-It got side tracked pmsl. We will start again next week with Laurent holding his man meat and Esme about to do something lmao
Yes, wonderful idea DD! Maybe if I can get organized I can actually have a post ready for next friday. (That was just fyi Stan, Mary and Nibbles...)Let's just let Esme hungrily eye Laurent's man meat for a week, shall we?
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