Anyway, moving swiftly on, last week's Friday Fun Five winner, as chosen by fanficzombie was StarlitViolets! She emailed me her questions with this message:
"I'm so honored to have been picked for the FFF. Hopefully, my questions are up to the standard of Twi-sted Edbrella. "
Hmm, well after yesterday which showed our standards to consost of bestiality, almost-incest and full on gang-bangs I'm pretty sure that any question she can pose will be under the Edbrella of our standards!
Without further ado, over to StarlitViolets :o)
1. If RPattz was an angel like John Travolta in the movie Michael, and he smelled different yet equally intoxicating to each of us, what would he smell like to you?
2. How much lady-scaping do you do? And how much manscaping does your SO do? (And ladies, I mean shaving/waxing/any-form-of-hair-removal in the most sensitive areas, so don't try to escape by saying you wear perfume and make-up.)
3. If you could only do Rob with another bloggy friend's vajayjay, whose would it be and why?
Rob & Mary - who would she swap places with?
4. You're arrsted in Forks for public drunkeness and end up in the tank with RPattz, KLutz, PFach, and Jacksper, what five words do you use to get the party started?
5. Which actor/actress makes you want to simultaneously kick them in the throat, spit in their face, and sterilize them (painfully) to assure they never procreate (again - if it's too late)?
Am guessing this won't be anyone's answer ;o)
Excellent questions StarlitViolets! Looking forward to reading everyone's answers.
Don't forget about the Big Peen Off contest too. Send pics of your home-crafted sparkle peen to gemma_holden@hotmail.com by 28th Feb for a chance to win a Sparkle Mini-E!
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70 comments:
WHAT?! There was bestiality? Well, okay, considering Jake is a dog that doesn't surprise me that much, ROFL. Gonna go read where I left off yesterday, later.
Now, the questions, which are very intersting, btw, SV.
1. This is a tough one. One of the smells I can't pull myself away from is the one called "fresh water" - you can typically find candles scented with it. So that's going to be my answer - I would want Rob to smell like Fresh Water.
2. My SO only shaves his beard (which btw, he doesn't have much of. it only grows around his lips and on his chin). He once did ask me to wax his chest, and he took it like man. He looked pretty good too. Also, he asks me to pluck the eyebrows in between his eyes, when they grow so much that they resemble a unibrow.
Me on the other hand, I do all the usual stuff - legs, arms, face, shave my armpits, and I do as much as I can around my hooha, but I don't go bare. I tried to once, and it hurt like fucking hell, so I decided to never do it again.
3. Do you mean if I could only do it vicariously through a bloggy friend's vajajay, or who would I want for a threesome? This is a really, really tough question too. I'm gonna go with Mrs. P. on count one, because she would definitely get the most out of Rob (as would Nibbles, but I'm afraid she would get too much, exhausting poor Rob to death), and she would do the most kinkiest stuff to him. In terms of threesome, I would choose TigerLilly, because, so far, she is the only one who openly admitted to being bisexual like myself.
4. "Let's get the party started" :D
5. Coming up with the answer to this one was tougher than I thought it would be, but I'm gonna go with Matthew Broderick /Sarah Jessica Parker too). I always found Matthew extremely yucky and sleazy, while I always thought Sarah was extremely cute and quirky, until Sex and the City, that is, but that's not the reason. When I heard that they decided to have another baby via surrogate mom, because Mrs. Broderick wouldn't take a break from her career, I just lost it, and barely stopped myself from throwing up. That is the most sleaziest thing I have heard, and the most selfish one also. They do not deserve that child. Not one bit.
Ooh Fab questions, but pic 2 is just gross! eww!!
1. I would want him to smell like Freesias & Cherry Blossom.
2. I am very fair skinned so not really very hairy at all, lol! I shave my armpits (ofcourse) but only have to do my legs from the knees down as I have virtually no hair on my thighs. I keep my other bits nice & tidy, but don't wax, there isn't much need, lol!
My other half just shaves. I would love to tame his eyebrows, but he just won't let me!
3. I think I would choose Nibbles. You can count on her to do all the things I could think of and more, lol! I'm sure Rob would be delighted (if a little exhausted) with my choice.
4. I would say....
Who wants to be first?
5. mmm not sure if I hate anyone that much! Maybe Mickey Rourke, I used to like him before he went under the knife. Now I can't stand to watch him, he's just freaky to look at and a little crazy too! He creeps me out!
1. If RPattz was an angel like John Travolta in the movie Michael, and he smelled different yet equally intoxicating to each of us, what would he smell like to you?
Oh I love that film. If RPatz was an angel he'd smell like Angel perfume to me. It's my fave smell of all time.
2. How much lady-scaping do you do? And how much manscaping does your SO do? (And ladies, I mean shaving/waxing/any-form-of-hair-removal in the most sensitive areas, so don't try to escape by saying you wear perfume and make-up.)
Stan that picture is vile!
I shave and pluck. I tried the hair removing cream one on my lady bits and I made a right mess of myself, there was bald patches everywhere. Mr Mary has a trim when needs be.
3. If you could only do Rob with another bloggy friend's vajayjay, whose would it be and why?
I'm gonna have to choose Stan cos she's not as depraved as the rest of you! Mrs P and Nibbles for instance would scare the living shit outta poor Rob.
4. You're arrsted in Forks for public drunkeness and end up in the tank with RPattz, KLutz, PFach, and Jacksper, what five words do you use to get the party started?
I'm Mary and I'm depraved!
5. Which actor/actress makes you want to simultaneously kick them in the throat, spit in their face, and sterilize them (painfully) to assure they never procreate (again - if it's too late)?
Oh easy, have you heard of Cliff Richards? ewww ewww ewwwww He's so cheesy, a so called heart throb for the older ladies and a right smarmy git. He brings out a single every christmas and they always make my ears bleed. He just makes me cringe thinking about him.
Good Q's :)
@Mary Cliff Richards! lol! You know you want to really!
1. RPattz would smell like white chocolate hot cocoa... Very lickable!
2. Hubby shaves his face and I beg him to let me trim the pit and bush hairs every-so-often. I keep the v-jay trimmed tight and shave the ass/under-snatch. I keep the shape "high & tight". All the standard shaves and plucks apply, as well.
3. Mrs. P's vajayjay gets to take on Rob's manhood because she broke my blogger cherry!
4. Crotch tight! Can't have babies! (OMG - did I just post that?)
5. Lohan's parents... I think it's obvious why.
FUN!
I'm stashing that Cliff info away for future reference ;o)
1. If RPattz was an angel like John Travolta in the movie Michael, and he smelled different yet equally intoxicating to each of us, what would he smell like to you?
Clean sheets, love 'em.
2. How much lady-scaping do you do? And how much manscaping does your SO do? (And ladies, I mean shaving/waxing/any-form-of-hair-removal in the most sensitive areas, so don't try to escape by saying you wear perfume and make-up.)
I shave it all off. I did it as a treat for Mr Stan and then decided I preferred it. MrStan doesn't do any manscaping, he's a typical northerner. This is where I really hope none of the RL people I gave my blog address to when I first set it up are still reading.
3. If you could only do Rob with another bloggy friend's vajayjay, whose would it be and why?
I choose Mary, we've been friends for too long to not honour her with this one (plus she might share the details and set up a double date with one of the other twi-hotties)
4. You're arrsted in Forks for public drunkeness and end up in the tank with RPattz, KLutz, PFach, and Jacksper, what five words do you use to get the party started?
Heard of community fanfic, boys?
5. Which actor/actress makes you want to simultaneously kick them in the throat, spit in their face, and sterilize them (painfully) to assure they never procreate (again - if it's too late)?
Ooh, really struggling to think of one. I'm sure there must be one but I've sat here for about ten minutes and am still struggling, think I'll have to pass (If we were going with just celebrities it would be Jordan, without a doubt).
Excellent questions but again Dang Work is in the way of me answering these now. Be back later.
@ Stan - I loved this line "...any question she can pose will be under the Edbrella of our standards."
1. If Rob were an angel, he would smell like Chocolate Covered Strawberries. Yum. (BTW, I Loved that movie!)
2. Shave the pits and legs, wax the eyebrows and lip (that’s on my face, you dirty birds), and use a depilatory cream/shaving to achieve that little landing strip look down yonder. (Unfortunately, it grows out waaaaaay too fast.) Mr. TwiWeasel does a little brow plucking on himself, and will occasionally get a stray hair on his ears, but I get rid of those ASAP. He’s recently purchased an electric shaver so he can shave his beard right before bed so he doesn’t *ahem* tear me to shreds. What a thoughtful guy, right?
3. If I could let a bloggy friend’s va-jay-jay taste of the Precious Penis…it would have to be Jelena. In real life…it would be Tigerlilyrose. (She was my RL friend waaaaaay before she was my bloggy friend. In fact, she was my friend way before blogs were even invented.) PS…I LOVE that picture.
4. Depending on how drunk I was, it would be one of two things: a) Let’s get this party started! Or b) Oh God! I’m gonna puke! Now I don’t know exactly what that second line would do for the guys…probably make them scatter like crazy! But you never know, there are some sick fucking people out there. Of course, that first line may have the same reaction…I am not an attractive drunk.
5. I just cannot stand Angelina Jolie…and I have no valid reason for my dislike. I just don’t like her and if I could throat punch her, I would. Of course, she did play Lara Croft so she’d probably rip my still beating heart out of my chest if I did…but hey, it’s my sick fantasy, right?
OK, you sick bitches. That’s all I got for now. I’m gonna go read your answers and then go back and see if I can add to the Community Fan Fic! (How the fuck do you go about copyrighting a phrase?)
OK I am going to answer these without reading any more answers, because I read Jelena's and her answers were freakishly like mine! So, I will answer and then go back to read, so as not to be accused of plagiarism.
1. Smell...I want him to smell like a man. Like men's shaving cream! I love that smell!
2. Lady/Manscaping...I used to shave almost bare, but I am not in the shape to do that anymore, nor do I need to impress any men with it...LOL so I keep it trimmed neat and shave around the edges. Much more comfortable and easy to maintain. SO trims his neat and shaves his face daily. He used to shave his chest, but I hated that so he leaves it now, He has the perfect amount there. Just a bit and it trails down his belly...yum...Oh and I shave all the other usually spots too!
3. Vicariously through another's va-jay-jay....I would die first, my soul would move into a new body and I would do him from there. LOL...if you mean threesome, I would also pick Jelena..M-WAH
4. Jelena had already said EXACTLY what I was going to say, but it still works "Let's get this party started!" and i would take off my shirt and give them a glance at my fab ta-ta's!
5. There are so many! Lady GaGa comes to mind, because I find her pretty disgusting. She's not an actress/actor so I will go with Tracy Morgan...I find him very irritating and would love to kick him in his squeaky face!
great questions Bloggy Twin!
be back later!
OMG! I must compose myself...my vajayjay is getting a lot of action today...I am touched in the most sensitive of places! LMAO!!!
@ Jelena – Yes there was bestiality! Read it, read it, you wild bitch! LOL, we had almost the same answer for # 4!
@ Becky – You are a hairless wonder…I am jealous!
@ Mary – I’ve had bald patches, too. I ended up fixing it by taking it all off, but Mr. TW was a little icked out by that…it looked too much like our daughter! And do people really say the phrase “right smarmy git”?
@ BiteME!!! – I totally agree with # 5…I think Mr. and Mrs. Spears, too, now that I think on it.
@Stan – You’ve been reading this blog, right? And THIS is what makes you hope your RL friends aren’t reading? Hmmm….
@ Tigerlilyrose – Lady GaGa? Really? And Tracy Morgan? *snicker*
@ StarlitViolets – Excellent questions! I really like that it’s not all “If you could….with Rob…” type questions! We’re really getting to know each other!
@ Mrs. P - Please keep you and your cooter out of my dreams...want an explanation? *evil grin* Maybe I'll do a post on it...
PS my real answer to #3 is TwiWeasel...I am not really that selfish
LOL - This was my gmail ad while reading this last bit of comments:
Mangroomer Back Shaver - www.MANGROOMER.com - No More Back Hair! Do-It-Yourself, Private & Electric
OK--here I go...
1)He would smell like a sale at Macy's and a chocolate bar,
2)I shave EVERYTHING (legs to the top and vajayjay) and my SO keeps the "boys" nice and smooth as well, but not his chest. LMAO!!!!!
3)If i had to use someone elses vajayjay...I would kill myself. But, let's say i was to stay alive, then I would use Lisa's, because she would be kind to him and tell me all the details.....
4)5 words....hmmmm.."Who wants to fuck me?" is a good ice breaker I think!
5)Hmmm...no I will not say the Stew...I can't wait to see her fat and prego....so i will say Britney Spears...she needs to stop making babies FAST.
@The wease---good lord, what is my cooter doing now? It can't be trusted...
@ Tigerlily - Awwww...yes you would be, but who can blame you with the Precious? Hmmm...
@ Dangrdafne - Mangroomer! Bwahahahaha!
@ Mrs. P - there was toilet paper involved.
@Mary---I think Rob would find my vajayjay rather agreeable in bed...it's able to adapt to various situations accordingly. LMAO!
@the wease---LMAO!!!! Was there some "left behind" ???
@ Mrs. P - Um...yep. And FYI...I've asked to be challenged...in fact, my exact words were "Do me, Mrs. P."
Can I change my mind and say I really would like to be a stay at home mom, just because I've hit more blogs today than I have in the last month?
1. He would smell like: Anything but Old Spice
2. Ladyscaping: I'm lazy. I shave every couple of weeks, and any time I'm going to have to put on a bathing suit. I might also trim up if I know there's a romantic weekend in store. I've never had a wax. ROTFLMAO at the picture of Sasquatch in a bikini!
3. Bi-Bloggy Bonanza?: After yesterday's Community FanFic, everyone's in the running.
4. Five words: Who's got the biggest condom?
5. Lame actor/actress award: Kristen Stewart *ducks*. Only because she is cock-blocking my way to RPattz, who I MUST have.
Good morning ladies,
Going to work asap so let's get to it
1) He would smell as edible as bacon being fried up for breakfast. That scent always draws me in and I love eating a good piece of meat anyday.
2) Lucky Asian me that I don't have to shave my legs. I shave under my arms and do a full brazilian wax. My SO shaves down to about 1/4 inch with an electric shaver some of the time. Helps to minimize the nose tickles (remember eating the meat?).
3) I'm going to say Lisa. Not necessarily b/c of any sick penchants (I think I'd choose Mrs. P and Nibbles for that) but because she was the first one to comment on my blog and I would want to make her happy :) Plus I don't think she would scare Rob as much as the other two. After all, he's already allergic to vaginas. We want to make sure his penis doesn't cower in the corner as well.
4)"I want all my holes filled."
5)I've always loathed Juliette Lewis. Just typing her name makes me want to hurl. I can't stand her face, her lips, or her voice. Ugh! Damn you guys for making me think of her at all!
Okay, off to work for me. See you all for DML and hope I make it in time.
OK, I’m so gonna pimp this story out for TigerlilyRose. Go read her Fan Fic Deathbed Angel
Now, I’ll admit, after yesterday’s Community Fan Fic, it’s a little tame, but it’s so sweet and lovely it makes my heart swell just reading it!
Go. Now.
I have to revise question #2, apparently I need to read them a little more thoroughly. Plus, I am pouting because I don't get to go see Jackson and his 100 Monkeys tonight with my bookclub bff's. Anyway, back to ladyscaping: I do shave armpits and legs, every day, without exception. I cannot stand to feel the slightest amount of stubble, and it has nothing to do with impressing Mr. Any Mouse. Speaking of Mr. AM, I am copying and pasting the link to DangerDafne's MANGROOMER as we speak. His back could really use it. Facial hair, he has none. I love the look of a goat/stache but he refuses to try. I've always loved the bad boy type, but I married Mr. StraightAsAnArrow Office Dude.
Yay! FFF Friday. As always, I can't wait to read everyone's answers. Thanks (I think) for the questions, SV!
1. If RPattz was an angel like John Travolta in the movie Michael, and he smelled different yet equally intoxicating to each of us, what would he smell like to you?
Me (aka vanilla-scented lotion)
2. How much lady-scaping do you do? And how much manscaping does your SO do?
Geez, SV. Really? Don’t read this FORKS roomies.
Me – eyebrows, upper lip (I told you not to read this, Mrs. P.), chin (You were warned, Mrs. P.), underarms, legs
Hubby – God created him perfect. Just ask him. LOL!
3. If you could only do Rob with another bloggy friend's vajayjay, whose would it be and why?
Wow. Okay. I really want to go back up and check out everyone’s answer to Q2 before I decide, but I won’t. Well, it definitely wouldn’t be Stan’s because I’m sure that damn dog’s been sniffing around hers ;) I’m going to have to go with Dangrdafne because she’s a Psychology Major; if I’m doing Rob with another bloggy friend’s vajayjay, I’m going to need some serious psycho analysis when we're through. LOL!
4. You're arrested in Forks for public drunkeness and end up in the tank with RPattz, KLutz, PFach, and Jacksper. What five words do you use to get the party started?
“Sheriff, throw away the key.”
5. Which actor/actress makes you want to simultaneously kick them in the throat, spit in their face, and sterilize them (painfully) to assure they never procreate (again - if it's too late)?
(Hmmmmm. Wonder how Mrs. P’s going to answer this one.) Before Bel Ami was cast, I would have said Nicole Kidman. Now, I have to go with Uma Thurman.
@Stan – I don’t know which I enjoy more, the FFF questions or the pictures and captions you post. They are always classic!!!
And I feel like an idiot most days, but especially today. I had no idea the sparkle peen contest was a photo submission. I thought I had to actually make something and ship it to you. (Quit laughing, Mrs. P.) Game on!
Lisa
Man, I have a day off to play and I get less time on here than at work. What the fuck is that all about?
Between kids, dr's appts, kids, visiting RL friends (yes I have some lol) and cooking about 4 seperate meals for dinner tonight I'm shagged out and I've only just got on here. I feel like Bella after yesterdays activities (though possibly not as lax in the vagina & anus area I hope!!)
So to the questions, btw Starlit violets- bloody marvellous questions!
1)Rob would smell like sunshine and a new mown meadow and a little bit like this Boss aftershave I really like but can't remember the name of!
2)Ladyscaping um pretty much all of it off pmsl although i am growing it as i have a gynae appt (again) and I don't want them thinking hooker, pervert or weirdo. I went once completely bald and I swear the male gynae bit his lip. Maybe he was trying not to laugh lol who knows?
Hubs shaves and I do his eyebrows, he has Rob brows for sure and we keep it all nice and smooth down there cos he is a hairy fucker, chest everywhere, man I ain't kidding,
3)Whoa, why'm I gonna scare Roberto, I can be gentle honest lol I guess like Z any mouse after yesterday anyones welcome pmsl.
4)LMFAO@ Twilight cupcakes answer to this-way to go girl (high 5's) I'd say.....
Drop trow I give head
5) Can I say the Stew, can I? I say the Stew cos I hate the way she acts like oh this is such hard work and I'm so like not allowed to do anything and I didn't ask for any of this. You became a fucking actress stop whining, it comes with the job when you make it big you dozy bitch! Apart from that ummmm Quentin Tarantino makes me throw in my mouth a little
Off to work on tomorrows post. What a day I'm shattered and in pain so I'm off to get pissed and to the Wease I say smarmy git a lot in RL, as well as tosser, twat, fuckwad, gimp, wanker, wankwaste, shit stain, arsehole amongst a fewe choice ones I use for the Hobbit, most to his face lol
@ Lisa - Oh My! Me??
I just got back from a meeting and while I was in there, I was thinking about these questions. That's what I've been reduced to. If my co-workers only knew!! At any rate, I got to thinking about Q3. I said Dangrdafne so she could help out psychologically, but I probably should have said twilightcupcake so she could cure Rob's allergy. LMAO!!! Okay. Off to read everyone's answers.
@ Lisa - MUCH better choice. LOVE it!
@The wease, yep it's a proper saying here :)
@ Mary & Nibbles - You guys slay me! Please explain, exactly what is a smarmy git? And a tosser? I think I've asked Stan this before. Harry Potter calls himself a Tosser in the latest movie! (WTF? Why am I stuck on HP today? That's the second time I've mentioned him today!) Oh, and a gimp! Bwahahahaha!
*ahem* Lisa, I'll have you know that I also have a degree in Psychology.
@ The wease, I don't even know how to begin defining 'smarmy git' LOL. Tosser is the same as wanker in both senses of the word.
1. what would he smell like to you? Vanilla & Nutmeg & Ginger
2. How much lady-scaping/manscaping?
Shave & or wax everything except the hair on the top of my head. I do trim my SOs pit hair, just because he lets me do it. He manscapes the peen & balls for me
3. If you could only do Rob with another bloggy friend's vajayjay, whose would it be and why?
Sniff- no Twi-bloggy friends.. but since Nibbles is so out of control- I’d fifty shades scene w/ her & Rob.
4. You're arrsted in Forks, what five words do you use to get the party started?
How many condoms between you?
5. Which actor/actress makes you want to simultaneously kick them in the throat, spit in their face, and sterilize them (painfully) to assure they never procreate (again - if it's too late)?
Jacksper. Why would he let the makeup/hair people put that thing on his head? I hope he gets his moment in the sun in Eclipse
Awwwww...thanks, Mrs. P and twilightcupcake. I'm sure I would end up (s)mothering him, but I would try and be gentle. LOL!
As I have said before, I clearly lead a sheltered life. Either that, or I'm just fucking old. Probably both. You girls and your creative landscaping. Oh, my!
I am loving everyone's answers for Q4!!!
@Dangrdafne - Are you not up for doing Rob or for providing a therapy session? LOL!
I love FFF!
Lisa
@ Jayla- I'll be your TwiBloggy friend, and not just because then you'd have to choose my coochie to do the Precious.
@Stan - *ahem* It's just nice to hear your voice. And I did not know that about you, or if you told me/us, my old-age, lack-of-sleep brain had forgotten it.
@Jayla - Awesome #5 answer!!!!!
@TwiWeasel - yay u made my day! and after CFF it would be one big party anyway ;-)
@ Nibbles OMFGawd!!! you made me spit out my seltzer "Drop trow I give head" that is THE BEST.
@17foreverlisa thank u
@ Jayla - Glad I can help...we're all friends here, right?
I'm beginning to think it's a good thing I'm not a Stay at home mom...I haven't moved very far all day. (Except to clean up a little vomit and give my 2 year old a bath. Good times.)
@ Lisa Yep, it's been a hard week to get on here much with the kids at home.
@ The Wease, just going to do the vomit clean-up now, was just passing on my way to the rubber gloves...
@Stan - I've definitely missed you. Sorry the kids are still sick. Hope it's over soon!
@TwiWeasel - Hope yours feels better soon, too. I remember those days!
@ Lisa - you asked "Are you not up for doing Rob or for providing a therapy session?" Wouldn't he have to be up for me?? ahaha and I am always here for any therapy I can offer whether to you and/or Rob!! ;) I just thought your choice of twilightcupcake to cure his allergy was hilarious and perfect.
@ Stan - now I know why we get along so well. Us Psychology degreed people need to stick together.
@ Lisa only the youngest is sick so far, the other two are well but it's a school holiday this week. Because they're well they spend all their time fighting, hard work!
@ Dangrdafne, definitely!
@Stan - I see. Well, then, I hope it doesn't go any further and everyone else avoids it!
I've got soooooo much shit to do this weekend, and a lot of running around planned to get it all done...you can guarantee my older girls will get sick either tonight or in the morning. Grrrrr...
@Jayla-pmsl I put a lot of thought into that comment.
Just been doing a post for tomorrow, please don't let your lids see it lol ok, just warning ya! It started off all nice and safe and I got bored and it morphed into something else so there's some nice pics to look at basically. Think I'm gonna work on another story haha maybe for wednesday.
Ugh can't believe I've hardly been on here today and hubs ain't back at work till tuesday.
Hope all the kids get better-catch you laters dearies. Luv ya's xxx
@The wease a smarmy git is someone who makes your skin crawl :)
Oh and a gimp I think is one of them blokes in a mask who deos what the fuck they're told to do as they're lead around on a lead lol
I use it as in saying someone is a twat or a knob etc
@ Mary - Ah, now I understand a smarmy git...I know a few. *shudder* A gimp is like Egor, huh? Got it.
OMFG! You bitches are crazy. I can't believe how many of you shave. Lucky bitches. I used to shave, but my hair grows so fast that if I shaved in the morning, the stubs would appear by nightfall. So I've resorted to having my own electric epilator which I use. And, I'm jealous of your bare vajajays, just so you know.
@Lisa - Your answer to #4 "Sheriff, throw away the key" had me laughing out loud.
@The Wease - I know why you would use my vajajay - cause you know I'd write about it later, in painful details. :D
@Mary just makes me think of Pulp Fiction... "bring out the gimp...", lol!
@Becky - ROFLMAO! I always crack up over that line "Well I guess you just gonna have to wake him up now, won't you?"
I'm going to answer before reading all of your responses, cuz I don't want to be tainted by you... I mean, your ANSWERS. Hee hee.
1. RPattz's smell.
He would smell like after a summer's rain, a new book, and chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven.
2. Lady/Manscaping. (And Stan - that image - ewwwwwww!)
Personally, I shave everything but a "landing strip" or small "pie" shape. Plus, my legs, armpits, and this may be weird - my arms. I'm not a fan of body hair in general - mine. I'm not actually naturally hairy either - at all. I can go over a week without shaving my legs and you can't even tell.
Mr. SV is a saint and shaves his balls for me. And he knows I'll be much more inclined to bjs if he has a shorn scrotum.
3. Doing Rob with another vajayjay.
The honor would go to my Bloggy Twin TigerLilyRose! Even though we've only recently begun to connect, we're TOO much alike for me to not bestow upon her the great honor. But Stan and Lisa both get honorable mentions. Cuz I luuuuurrrrvvvve them too!
4. I can fulfill your fantasies...
5. Sarah Jessica Parker! Ugh! I just can't stand her ugly face! She thinks she's so pretty and she'd lose a beauty contest to Shrek for fuck's sake!
I can't wait to read all of your responses. This was a total blast!
And the beastiality maaaaaayyy have been partially, just a tiny bit, in some obscure way... my - um- fault. Sorry. I was aiming for hilarity over morality. Hopefully, it wasn't too offensive to anyone. But you gotta admit, it was pretty fucking funny! Don't put me in bloggy jail. I'll do as many "favors" as needed.
Now - off to read responses.
FML!! RL has had her wicked way with me this week! Ok..finally here...here goes
1. If RPattz was an angel like John Travolta in the movie Michael, and he smelled different yet equally intoxicating to each of us, what would he smell like to you?
He would smell like cigarettes (just a little), campfire, the ocean, a steak on the grill and SEX! (OMG, my dog totally just totally tooted a fuckin bomb at me...way to kill the fucking mood..)
2. How much lady-scaping do you do? And how much manscaping does your SO do? (And ladies, I mean shaving/waxing/any-form-of-hair-removal in the most sensitive areas, so don't try to escape by saying you wear perfume and make-up.)
Wax the upper lip and eyebrows, shave pits, legs and bikini line and lady scape the bits left over down there.
Mr. Zombie trims appropriately down below and always has a goatee as he is chin challenged.
3. If you could only do Rob with another bloggy friend's vajayjay, whose would it be and why?
I pick mmMoxie because she would do him to The The's album Dusk...and to do him to any other album would just be a shame.
4. You're arrsted in Forks for public drunkeness and end up in the tank with RPattz, KLutz, PFach, and Jacksper, what five words do you use to get the party started?
OOPS, I dropped the soap!
5. Which actor/actress makes you want to simultaneously kick them in the throat, spit in their face, and sterilize them (painfully) to assure they never procreate (again - if it's too late)?
Any kid on any of the shows my teenager watches on Nickelodeon, ABC Family, Disney. I think I die a little bit each day when that shit is on in my house. And on top of the heap, Miley Cyrus. There, that one is for you Starlitviolets ;)
@StarlitViolets - PMSL at Shrek and SJP. You should work up a JibJab with the two of them. I will never look at her the same! And when you were talking about bloggy jail, I had to read it twice. The first time, I read doggy jail, lol.
@FanficZombie - Miley Cyrus. I couldn't agree more. I have an obsessed 10 year-old daughter, who MADE me take her to see that stinkin' movie. I kept telling myself "I'm a good mother, I'm a good mother..." while keeping visions of RPattz floating around in my head.
@ STarlitViolets - There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum...it's breathtaking, really. I will take some of the blame for the beastiality too...after all, I did continue with it yesterday, and again today...
@ Stan - Did you know that I Love LA has been reworked and is being published under the name of The Unidentified Redhead? Why the fuck didn't you tell me?!?!
On a lunch break now.
@SLV - my husb totally hates Sarah Jessica Parker too. He voted her the ugliest celebrity even though I love Sex and the City.
@Lisa I am glad you would give me first crack to fix his allergy. But you know I'd just send him a secret cure in the mail w/o tracing it to me first and then I'd go at it.
After all, can't fraternize with patients ;)
@Stan and @Dangrdafne - didn't realize you were both psych degrees. Oh lord you must have to turn off your psychoanalytical brain when you are twiblogging.
@Mrs. P - sometimes I wonder if you have a psych degree too with your mad dream interpretation skills.
Hopefully catch you all at DML.
Miley Cyrus - We definitely need to vote her off the island!!!
I love SJP, though :(
@Starlit Violets - Thanks, girlie. Mwah!
@Jelena - Thanks. I can't imagine being locked in with those boys and ever wanting let out. Just sayin'. Shit, I need to email you about DML. I will do that asap.
@twilightcupcake - I hadn't thought about the fraternizing with patients aspect. At first, I read it as parents, though. LMAO! And I agree with your comment about Mrs. P. She knows WAY too much.
@fanficzombie - PMSL about your dog tooting and totally ruining the moment. Effin' hilarious. And I love your "do Rob" choice :) See you at DML.
Happy weekend Twi-hos!!!
1. Apple and cinnamon. Mmmmmmmm.....
2. Having black hair and pale skin SUCKS! I have to wax my upper lip, pluck my eyebrows every few days, epilate my legs and my arms (but only in summer) and keep myself well-trimmed down below. I'm currently saving up for laser hair removal because lady-scaping is the bane of my existence.
3. I don't have many bloggy friends really, but if Nibbles or Mrs. P got a hold of Rob I'd be very happy to comfort him afterwards ;)
4. "Whoa, my panties just exploded!"
5. Ooh, it's so hard to just pick one, but for an actor I'd have to say Tom Cruise. Far and Away was just unforgivable. And Stan, I agree. Jordan must never be allowed to reproduce again. Can I add Ronan Keating to the list? I hate the fucker.
ARRRGHHHH!!!
FFF has been a part of my Friday ritual and I've been dying to get on a post. I'm normally off on Friday so I do it while having my morning coffee but alas...I had to work today.
Ok.
1. He would smell like outside and campfire and man.
2. I shave legs, pits, and shave everything down at the Y except for a small triangle landing strip that I also keep trimmed.
The hubtard knows to keep his shit trimmed and undercontrol if he wants blowies. I do not want to floss when I'm slobbing on his knob.
3. I am taking this question as a threesome question in which case I would need to have a foursome with T-Nabs and Poptarrts.
T-Nabs is a champ at seduction...and Poptarrts is just as freaky as I am so we would all compliment each other nicely.
4. Sweet. I love gang bangs!
5. Spencer Pratt...fuck. It was hard to even write that tinkle douches name.
@Stoney - #1 is what my husband smells like, actually :) #4 LMFAO!!!!! #5 Tinkle douche is right.
@mmm after reading everyone elses answers to #1 I realise I have made him sound gay!! Oh well, I like pretty boys, lol!
@SV - ROFL! I can't believe we both picked SJP. Fucking A. Oh, and thanks for talking me into watching Atonement. Holy shit, that was one gut wrenching movie. I got so turned on by that library scene, my cheeks blushed, and I think it's because of fan fic for some reason.
I really need to get up earlier on Friday's and post my answers then. I always feel late to the party any more with my answers. I just can't post these things at work :(
1. Aveda Confixor - hair conditioner for men or just a clean fresh smell
2. Me = Legs, underarms, a little in the girl bits area. I am curious about Brazil ;) or at least being less in that area. Any tips would be appreciated.
Him = he trims/shaves his facial hair and has a low beard (not full) and mustache like goatee. I don't think he does anything anywhere else. But I will admit I didn't know that was an option.
3. 17ForeverLisa - I had her picked before she originally picked me. I pick her because she would be kind to Rob and worship him and I think he needs and deserves that.
4. Ready for the strip search?
5. He is not an actor/actress but Perez Hilton.
LMFAO!!! I puffy heart you all! I'm seriously SO glad you all liked my questions. It was fun to do and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
And just for clarification, Question #3 about doing him with another bloggy friend's vj - was originally intended as an "I wouldn't fuck him with YOUR dick" question - but in reverse. But some of the threesome answers were pretty revealing and definitely educational.
Thanks again to FanFicZombie for picking me!
Lurves and Kisses!
@Dangrdafne - It's never too late to join this party! And thanks for picking me for #3. Now if I can just get Rob out of Nibbles' attic. LOL!! Good answers all around, but especially for #4 and #5. I cannot believe that guy gets into the events that he gets into. Gross!!
Ehem - "I wouldn't fuck HER with your dick"
PMSL!!! And I JUST started drinking! DML is gonna be FUN tonight!
@SV - LMFAO!!!!
Great Questions. The first one reminded me of the Armotentia potion in the Half Blood Prince. Sorry but I love JK Rowling & Harry Potter was my introduction to Rob.
1. To me he would smell like freshly mown lawn, rain on the dry earth & a bit like the gorgeous after shave Mr S wears that I can't remember the name of.
2. Being dark is a bastrd. All the usual-legs, underarms, not mow or eyebrows but if I didn't keep the twat under control I would look exactly like that pic! EEWWW! I'm very surprised how few of you are totally bald, I fell like I'm the only woman in Aus who isn't. Just have a little G/t stripe. Mr S has nice amount of body hair so doesn't shave anything except his face and there's no way I'm plucking his nose hairs! Yuk! @Banshee713, I had a laser hair removal "trial" (they just do a little bit to see how your skin reacts & stuff) & it was great. Good luck.
3. It would have to be @HG at Trueblood Twilight. We already made a pact that we would share, when she popped my bloggy cherry. She's a genious btw, blog, vids,techwizz, mum, everything!
4-Goodonya Nibbles! I couldn't think of anything after that, then I thought, "I have great tit's, see?" (then I flash, but that's a bit vain) so I thought "Apparently, I give great head" or (pointing at Rob) "can I have him first?".
5- This was a tough one. I'm with @17Forever Lisa, I hate Nichole Kidman & when she was married to Tom Cruise it was double vomit. Yuk. Sorry but I'm also with Nibbles re: Kstew for all the reasons she said.
For all you young mums with young kids, you make me feel so old! Hang in there darlings, it does get easier than they become teenagers! Heaven fucking help me!
PMSL @Sookie-I keep telling Stan wait till they're teens doesn't get better lol. Well at least they can go to the toilet on their own and feed themselves if needs be so thats a good point!
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