Well hello Mr Pattinson, is that a walking cane in your trousers or are you happy to see me-back off you other beyatches... 
Oh bugger sorry this is about Eclipse, tangents remember, I go off on them sigh...
Anyway as you know I'm off work at the moment following getting my back done; thank you to everyone for the kind wishes, emails, etc. It seems to have gone well, I am getting muscle spasms but its a bit like when you go to the dentist and they give you novocaine and ater when it wears off your lip sort of feels half there, half not. I'm also having to realise I can sit properly now and don't have to be a contortionist. It's weird but you do forget how to sit properly lol.
Ooops CFF, sidetracked again! Right well it's all about Eclipse this week and have you seen those pictures of the Cullen Crew-Oh my, how wrong can those wardrobe people be?
Look meaningful, mournful, fuck it just try to look cool in the wigs guys...FAIL
Oompa loompa doompadee doo, I've got the perfect puzzle for you-What the fuck is going on with wardrobe???
They look like a catalogue shoot for denim express or something. I keep expecting Carlisle to put his hand above his eyes and point off in the distance meaningfully and whats with the hair. I feel so sorry for Jasper/Jackson. It's a crying shame. Although by the colour job some witty fan has done he could well be in the next Willy Wonka film!
Right, Eclipse, I'm getting there already, I've been absent you know, verbal diarrhoea backs up!!
He kissed me again, and kept going until my heart was racing and my skin was flushed.
"Look, Edward," I murmured, my voice wheedling, when he paused to kiss the palm of my hand. "I said I would marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."
"Not funny," he murmured against the inside of my wrist.
"What I'm saying is this - I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone -- how often does that happen? -- and you've provided this very large and confortable bed..."
Phwoar...well what shall we make happen next...to bump uglies or not to bump uglies...that is the question...Shakespeare woulda been so proud of me pmsl
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33 comments:
Hi Nibs!
Not got time for CFF at the mo, but had to show my appreciation for your post- Jacksper as an Oompa Loompah is hilarious! And loo at Esme's beautiful caramel coloured hair - ooh, hang on a minute, hmm, what happened there then? Has she bagged a L'Oreal contract or something?
Anyway, I agree, Shakespeare would indeed be proud of you love! xx
Awww tanks Stan, OI will be back later to make a comment-now don't be shocked I know I'm shy and retiring heh heh!
PMSL! That was sooo funny. Poor old Jasper, how can they make him look so shitty!!
I agree with the too much denim, and what about Alice's jeans! In what world did they ever look good!!
Ok, I will have a go at the CFF, since I am waiting around for the 'oven man' to come!
"What I'm saying is this - I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone -- how often does that happen? -- and you've provided this very large and confortable bed..."
He stared at me, his eyes growing darker by the second. A smirk slowly spread across his face, " You are absolutey right, this is a very large and comfortable bed. I have waited long enough for you."
Using his vampire seed he flipped me over so I was now lying underneath him. He started undoing my buttons, this time at human speed, agonisingly slowly. All the time he kept his eyes on mine. As he undid the last one, he pushed open my blouse to reveal by blue satin bra. Thank god I hadn't worn the boring flesh coloured ones that I usually do!
He leaned down and ran his ice cold tongue down between my breasts, my breath hitched and my head fell back onto the pilow. He gently brought his hand up and ran his thumb over my bra, my now very erect nipples straining against the material. As he went to move his fingers inside, his phone started to ring. Don't answer it, please, please, please, i chanted. He looked at the caller id and sighed, removing his hand. I knew who it was then! Fucking cockblocking Alice!!!
He flipped open the phone, " What is it Alice? ..."
OMG Rob has a camel toe. My daughter thought the picture of the family were all the Eclipse dolls! My husband is Italian, we have connections, I'm going to find out how much it is going to cost to have the wig & wordrobe people wacked. I'm starting the fund, who else is prepared to donate?
@Sookie-He SOO does no have a camel toe LMFAO, look to the left, there is a bulging line, thats what i;m fixating on.
I am willing to donate to the cause, I am alo willig to do the job!!!!! I'll take one for the twi-ho's, Jaksper will be soo grateful he will love me and kiss me and pet me hahaha, imagination is a wonderful thing. Off for a lie don now, back killing!
I'm gonna go now ok?
He leaned down and ran his ice cold tongue down between my breasts, my breath hitched and my head fell back onto the pilow. He gently brought his hand up and ran his thumb over my bra, my now very erect nipples straining against the material. As he went to move his fingers inside, his phone started to ring. Don't answer it, please, please, please, i chanted. He looked at the caller id and sighed, removing his hand. I knew who it was then! Fucking cockblocking Alice!!!
He flipped open the phone, " What is it Alice? ..."
"What the fuck do you think you are doing to my best friend?" screeched Alice down the phone so loud that Edward pulled the phone away from his ear and even I winced so it must have been hell for him. Alices tirade continued for a further 10 minutes during which time Edward had somehow manged to rebutton my blouse and move to perch on the end of the bed. Goddamn vampires and their quicker than natural speed I thought grumpily staring at Edwards broad back and shoulders.
"Edward" I whispered, his hand flapped at me but he didn't turn, the phone now clamped to his ear.
"Ed-ward!" I whispered more vehemently
He spun and looked at me eyes blazing, he snapped the phone shut and said "I have to go, Rose will be here in a second to watch you"
"What is it Edward, can't I come too. I want to help you know" My bottom lip stuck out like a 6-year-old denied
"No Isabella, you cannot come...although when I get back, maybe we can pick up and then you will cum" he grinned at me,his eyes lightening and my favourite smile lifting the corner of his mouth.
Suddenly he was gone and Rose stood in his place glowering at me, twisting her hair between her slim fingers.
"Bella" she nodded to me " I HAVE to baby sit you"
I had to admit she did not look happy at the prospect and I was surprised I had thought maybe Esme as Rose seemed stronger than the other female vampires.
"Why you Rose?" I asked "You don't even like me"
She sauntered over to me and picked my hair brush out of my bag. Bodily turning me around on the bed she then sat behind me and began to brush my hair gently. She leant forward, her mouth at my ear and chuckled quietly "Oh Bella, beautiful Bella, how wrong you are, how wrong you all are...I like you so very, very much"
I turned and found myself centimetres from here face, her eyes soft and her lips slightly parted, the sweet scent of her breath so like Edwards.
Our eyes met and a soft moan escaped Rose as her lips met mine and her tongue darted out to touch mine briefly.
She sat back a little and shuddered, eyes closing.
"Bella, you taste divine, no wonder my brother can't bear to be away from you"
Just popped in to say that I've posted a one-shot up. It's my entry to the Black Balloon contest and you can read it by copying and pasting this:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5859995/1/Unravel_Me
Please read and review - thanks Becky & Nibbles for your reviews :o)
Better go, just sneaked away from the decorating, will get shouted at as soon as Mr Stan realises I've gone ;o)
@Nibbles - OMG, you went there with the girl-on-girl. Must be some good meds you're on huh? And the oompa loompa thing, I laughed so loud when I noticed the second pic. Too fitting.
@Becky - THAT is how we all wanted that scene to go. Nice!
Can't contribute to CFF at the moment, but I look forward to it eventually. Need to stretch some writing muscles someday.
@Sookie - Too funny. Let the beat downs begin!
Oh my good fucking god, I just so followed that up and blogger fucking disappeared it so bad, shit fuck and diddly o wank. Can I get back the hotness i just had oh man i dunno but I will try again. Dear blooger don't eat my shit cos I will kill you dead. I mean it!!!!!!!!
Dear Blogger even, I have sticky key syndrome or crumbus-underkeyboardius as its known aswell
Hurry up Nibbles, I want more!
Word veri: comming (no joke!)
@Z Any Mouse I was just going to say that, lol!
sorry had t go fetch son, back now and nearly done-pant pant-I'm ill yanno pmsl
I turned and found myself centimetres from her face, her eyes soft and her lips slightly parted, the sweet scent of her breath so like Edwards.
Our eyes met and a soft moan escaped Rose as her lips met mine and her tongue darted out to touch mine briefly.
She sat back a little and shuddered, eyes closing.
"Bella, you taste divine, no wonder my brother can't bear to be away from you"
I stared at her my eyes wider than ever “What, what are you doing Rose?” I stammered
“Oh come on Bells, don’t tell me, you don’t like it, don’t want it, don’t desire me? Everyone desires Rosalie Hale” she said haughtily
“Everyone except Edward” I said quietly looking down at my nails
Silence…I risked a glance at Rose and she say her shoulders slumped
“Yes, everyone but Edward…what is it about you Bella, everyone one of us wants you. Jasper can’t even be in the same room its that bad although some of it is that he wants to kill you so bad” she conceded
“Alice plays dress up with you because (she put on a high pitched voice her) her nipples are the most perfect pink and so mouth wateringly lickable, Emmett makes me wear a brunette wig and those stupid tank things you wear to molest me as often as possible…not that I’m complaining, it makes me feel closer to you” she sighed
I gazed at her “Carlisle” I stammered
“O.M.G Bella, my dad he likes sniffs you all the time haven’t you noticed and Esme wants to be you so bad she is always hugging you”
“I thought it was cos she liked me” I said sadly
“Likes you Bella, fuck, she would be on you like stink on shit if she know Edward would allow it”
I blushed deeply and Rose sighed, she sniffed the air and grinned “Someone got cockblocked and is creaming their pants at the thought of Edward, Jasper and Emmett, aren’t they”
“You can’t read my mind can you Rose” I stuttered
“No but I’m sensing you wouldn’t mind if I did this would you” as my jeans and blouse seemed to disappear like smoke. Damn I thought again, these vamps are good!
“or this” she muttered as her she dropped butterfly soft kisses over my face, collar bones and breasts
“Or this” she said as her mouth closed over my taut, aching nipple
“or this” she whispered as her fingers stroked lazily across my stomach, hips, thighs and pubis.
I moaned as Rose growled when her finger dipped between my outer lips to find me so wet and ready.
She stroked back and forth lightly between my folds, not entering me, just teasing. My hips began to move with her to push up as she came nearer to my clit
“Here? Is this where you want it” she teased me as her fingers rubbed my now swollen, aching clitoris
My turn to growl and she smiled around my nipple. She slipped a finger into me, pushing and twisting it like a corkscrew and I pushed up to meet her, her thumb rubbing harder causing me to whimper “More Rose, please, I want more”
She added another finger and another and pumped them in and out of me abandoning my nipples for my mouth, she was passionate, her kisses left me gasping for air, her slim fingers beginning to unravel me…
“I’m close Rose, so close, I can’t…” my head thrashed and as she pulled her fingers out of me to rub my clit faster, my leg muscles tensed, my toes began pointing as my legs closed, her finger touching just the tip of my most sensitive spot “Oh Rose, fuck me, oh god…” I shuddered and exploded over her hand as I came…She was between my legs before I could take a breath, her small tongue lapping at me “Rose, I can’t can’t, god, no more” and she chuckled as her tongue licked me and dipped inside..
Suddenly she tensed as a last voice said “Well, well, what’s this sister dear…Alice will be upset with you”
“I’m just getting her warmed up for you oh brother, you don’t want..ahem little eddie scaring the fucking life out of her do you?”
My eyes shot open to see Edward at the foot of the bed holding the biggest cock I had ever seen.
“Edward, is that supposed to fit in here” I spluttered pointing to my twitching pussy
sorry for the spelling and missing letters, added letters, trying to type asd quick as possible and then had to leave half way, so I hope the mood didn't disappear lol
@Nibbles rofl! I doubt very much that anyone noticed spelling mistakes or missing letters in amongst that girl on girl hotness!
hehe, I thought Rose deserved a go for once
Right, since I can't be bothered to make the kids tea, I will have a go at the next bit.
Suddenly she tensed as a last voice said “Well, well, what’s this sister dear…Alice will be upset with you”
“I’m just getting her warmed up for you oh brother, you don’t want..ahem little eddie scaring the fucking life out of her do you?”
My eyes shot open to see Edward at the foot of the bed holding the biggest cock I had ever seen.
“Edward, is that supposed to fit in here” I spluttered pointing to my twitching pussy
His face broke into my favourite crooked grin, "Don't worry Bella, I'll go slow....to start with". He walked slowly towards the bed, all the while stroking his long hard length. I couldn't take my eyes of it, it was fucking huge!
"Well Bella, since Rosalie has been so nice to you, don't you think you should return the favour?" I gaped at Edward, my mouth refusing to close. Did he want me to lick Rose's pussy? I turned to where Rose was now sat, on hearing Edwards request she had whipped off her clothes and was now lying back against the headboard. Her legs were spread wide and I could see how wet and ready she was for me.
I looked up at her, she quirked an eyebrow at me, challenging me. I crawled up to her, lowered my head and flicked my tongue over her ice cold centre. She let out a growl and gently grabbed my head, pressing me too her. As I nipped and sucked on her clit I dipped two fingers into her and began pumping in and out.
Soon I heard a faint rustling and the bed moved behind me. I felt Edwards cold hands caressing my ass, which was now sticking up in the air as I nuzzled on Rosalie.
Holy shit! Was he going to fuck me while I was doing Rosalie??
"Bella......" He purred.
Whoo hoo go Eddie!!!
Who's gonna go next then??
LOL, I gotta go cook tea otherwise this will turn into the Nibbles & Becky show. Might be on later, otherwise tomorrow ladies x
Oooh! Oooh! Me next...gimme a few.
Soon I heard a faint rustling and the bed moved behind me. I felt Edwards cold hands caressing my ass, which was now sticking up in the air as I nuzzled on Rosalie.
Holy shit! Was he going to fuck me while I was doing Rosalie??
"Bella......" He purred.
I felt him move closer to me, all the while carressing my ass. His hands moved in circles and his fingers would just barely brush over my aching pussy, and every time they did, I would push back toward him. Suddenly, there it was: the head of his dick moving up and down through my sopping wet kitty. Spreading Rosalie's thighs wider with my hands, I moaned once before plunging my face back into her wet snatch. Rose gripped my hair and held me in place, while Edward coated his dick with my juices in preparation for entering me. "Now Edward! She's ready now!" she growled and I tensed briefly as he slammed into me, all the way to the hilt.
I let out a high pitched, keening sort of cry, and my fingers dug into Rose's thighs. Later, I would notice that I had snapped off all of my fingernails, but in the moment I was too busy having the biggest orgasm of my life and all he had done was push it in! He hadn't even moved yet! Rose held my head up so I wouldn't drown in her pussy, as I was too far gone in my own pleasure to even think about her...or breathing for that matter.
Moments later, or perhaps it was days, I have no idea, I came down from my high to realize two things simultaneously: 1. My face was resting on Rose's lower stomach with my nose in the tiny little strip of pubic hair she had (and her pussy smelled fabulous); and 2. Edward was still rock hard and inside me and felt absolutely ha-uge! Why is it I'd never noticed how ginormous his dick was before? Oh, yeah...protecting my virtue, yada yada yada.
I looked back over my shoulder at Edward, gave him a little smirk and wiggled my ass at him. His eyes were black and they bored into mind. "Are you ready for this?" he growled between his clenched teeth.
"Oh, Edward." I whispered. "You have no idea..."
~*~*~*~
Grrr...sorry it took me so long. My mom stopped by in the middle of typing this, and what was I supposed to say? Excuse me while I make Bella cum, Mom.
Whoo hoo go Edwards massive cock!!
Go TwiWeasel you hot smut writing biatch!
PMSL @ this:
"Grrr...sorry it took me so long. My mom stopped by in the middle of typing this, and what was I supposed to say? Excuse me while I make Bella cum, Mom."
I laughed so loud!!
@ Becky - I could have written more but she wouldn't stop blathering on about nothing!! I love my mom, but she has a knack for calling or stopping by at the most inopportune times!!
BTW...my mom would shit a purple twinkie if she saw some of the stuff I read and write! Bwahahahaha!!
LOl, I'd love to see a purple twinkie, haha. Does anyone else think the Cullen crew pic looks like they're doing an ad for Old Navy?
I'd add to the fanfic today, except allergies are kicking my butt and I can't think straight. I'd have Bella, Edward, and Rosalie rolling around in a pile of tissues. Carry on.
oh yum- rob in period garb...
@nibbles - i enjoyed -unravel_ :-) different side of you then what i've seen here.
@Jayla-its not me that wrote unravelled its Stan babe xx
WOW, I just read this before I am going to sleep, can't wait to see my dreams tonite! I hope they aren't of Jackson/Jasper as an ooma loompa LOL
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