Hope you're all ok. I'm sitting here getting grief from Mr Stan for being on the computer while he tidies the kitchen around me. He's already put his own touches to the windowsill:
Anyway, before I get yet more abuse, on with this week's FFF. Last week's winner was Starlit Violets, so over to her :o)
Now - down to business. SmartEpantz was kind (or stupid) enough to pick me as the FFF winner last week. I'll try to achieve a level of jackassery befitting Miss E, herself. Let's get started, shall we?
1. We all experienced the WTF era called the 80's, if not - you're too young to be on this site - so just go! Anyway - the 80's produced some well-known sitcoms from Roseanne to Family Ties, The Cosby Show to 227, Growing Pains to the Facts of Life, and from What's Happening to The Golden Girls, and many many more! Which of the way-too-many 80's sitcoms was/is one of your favorite guilty pleasures? And ladies from around the world - share your 80's sitcoms from your area with us too!
1980s sitcoms UK style ;o)
2. It's 2008... Oh no! You're at the publishing house and accidentally erase Breaking Dawn from all sources. Seizing the opportunity, you replace the entire novel with a five sentence or less ending to the Twilight Saga. Here's your shot ladies!
Image found on Letter to Twilight
3. Let's get into each other's closets to see what's hiding in there... Actually, let's just stop with the clothes, I know enough about you ladies to dig too deep. What is your fashion sense and style? Is there an article of clothing you can't live without? Are you the sporty soccer mom, or the MILF with black leather boots at the PTA (parent/teacher assoc.) meeting?
4. We all know we're ALL a few brain cells shy of what we were born with. But how did that come to be? Did you party? How much? What kinds of illegal substances have you ingested? Give us a brief party history of your life and where you currently stand on the party scale today.
5. What three adjectives will fellow Twitards use to describe you after FFFFOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKSSSSS or any other weekend of drunken debauchery?
Well - that's it! The honor has been all mine. I puffy heart all my cuntbiscuits at Twisted Edbrella!!!
Thanks SV, fab questions! As ever, answers in the comments and SV will choose a winner to do next week's questions.
Have fun!
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46 comments:
Oh they are fab questions SV! Christ @stan Auf Wiedersehn Pet ( excuse spelling!), that makes me feel ancient, lol! I used to have a thing for Wayne!! ( i think it was wayne)
Haven't got time to answer now, hubs is making me do chores as we have family staying tomorrow. bbl to answer.
1. I used to watch Roseanne & family ties, lol. Think my favourite had to be Red Dwarf though, can we class it as a sitcom? I used to watch it religiously.
2. Bella & Edward get married and have lots of sex on Isle Esme.
Bella gets pregnant with Edwards demon spawn which is going to kill her.
Bella gives birth to baby Renesmee, Edward changes her into a vamire and Jacob imprints on the baby.
The Volturi hear about Renesmee and come to Forks to kill all the Cullens.
Bella has super Vamp shielding powers and saves the day.
3. Wouldn't we all want to be the MILF? Not really sure what my style is, I like a bit of everything. I tend to stick to jeans or blk leggings, not much of a skirt girl. I like tight things on top, need to show off my cleavage while it is still the right side of my waist, lol! Can't do withough my black rocket dog biker boots and my hot pink heels, they are my favourite shoes.
4. mmm When I was a student i lived in a big house type thing with 3 girls & 36 boys. I learned to drink pints pretty quickly! Smoked pot and ate loaded brownies, but thats about it. Now I have 3 kids I rarely go out ( once a month?), but I do tend to get hammered when I do! I drink far too much at home aswell, lol!
5. Obviously not going to Forks. I tend to be very rude and over friendly when drunk so maybe "Dirty drunken tart"? That would probably be right!
Er...Im 20 and Im born in 1990.
Unfortunately though I do not have a favourite 80's sitcom..because A) I wasnt born yet and B) The 80's were terrible, so my mum says..
Sorry cant join in this time - looking forward to all your answers though!
@Poptarrt, get back here and answer the rest, you don't get off that easily lady!
....Damn it.
*kicks coke can off the curb*
Fine...
1)Id have to say Red Dwarf if I had to pick a sitcom. I used to have my xbox avatar as Cat, but then every one kept asking why my picture was off a black vampire, so I changed it. LOL
2.Bella & Edward get married and have lots of sex on Isle Esme.
Edward realises that hes actually screwing a whiney bitch and kicks her out of the bed.
Edward then calls me on my mobile and we live happily ever after.
Simples *squeak*
..Only the UK folk will get the ending..
3)Seriously SV, I feel a little bit of ageism is in this post. I am not a mum, let alone a MILF.
Im a young women, who dresses accordingly. You know..the usual. Hot leopard print tights and a tshirt that says "MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR!"
Ofcourse..Most of my inspiration is from you lot..you all had SUCH fashion sense "back in the day"..LOL
4)Again, pretty young but inside I am 50. Ive done my partying..
Lets just say all I know is one morning I wake up on a beach, a cider bottle in my hand and a purple nose bleed. Theres also sand in some rather private places..
..I will never know what happened that night..
5)When I am drunk, Im a happy one. I love to sing and dance. So Im gonna say:
Dancing, Singing Drunkards!
In retrospect the questions were pretty good, HARD, but good.
I loved it all over again. Cant wait til next week..
..Stan; :P
@Poptarrt If I didn't feel old before, I fucking do now, lol!
@Stan where are your answers?
@Becky LMFAO. I swear, inside - your probably younger than I am. Ask anyone who knows me, I am such an old woman. My favourite time of the day is now..Murder she wrote & diagnosis murder! Oh yeaaaaa.
...such is the blessed life of a nightshift worker! ;)
This should be fun :o)
1. My fav sitcom in the 80's was Growing Pains...all us girls had posters of Kirk whats-his-face plastered all over our lockers and walls...of course that was until he turned into a goodie goodie nerd. Now I love The Golden Girls-those bitches rock!
2.Bella dies, Edward comes for me-we screw...a LOT..The end!
3. Clothing? What Clothing? LOL! Just kidding. I am a jeans and shirt kind of girl. Although my daughters friends all call me a Milf-I think they are just kissing up so I will drive them places. Bastards!
4. Shit-Partying? I guess we better bring Kirk Cameron back over here! I was such a goodie it isn't funny. I once drank a 1/2 full dixie cup full of wine and passed out...does that count?
5. As for the Fooooorrrrkkkks trip, I sadly don't get to go...but I am thinking they would call me the Pervy Little Pipsqueak.
Afternoon Ho's
1. We all experienced the WTF era called the 80's, if not - you're too young to be on this site - so just go! Anyway - the 80's produced some well-known sitcoms from Roseanne to Family Ties, The Cosby Show to 227, Growing Pains to the Facts of Life, and from What's Happening to The Golden Girls, and many many more! Which of the way-too-many 80's sitcoms was/is one of your favorite guilty pleasures? And ladies from around the world - share your 80's sitcoms from your area with us too!
Oh I loved Auf Wiedersein Pet too! And yes I had a thing for Wayne, he was a bit of a bad boy lol
2. It's 2008... Oh no! You're at the publishing house and accidentally erase Breaking Dawn from all sources. Seizing the opportunity, you replace the entire novel with a five sentence or less ending to the Twilight Saga. Here's your shot ladies!
Edward realises he really can't stand the sight of Bella. he remembers hearing about a bunch of mad up for it Ho's on a site called Twisted Edbrella and decides to spend the rest of his like sharing himself around them as a sex slave
The End
Amen
3. Let's get into each other's closets to see what's hiding in there... Actually, let's just stop with the clothes, I know enough about you ladies to dig too deep. What is your fashion sense and style? Is there an article of clothing you can't live without? Are you the sporty soccer mom, or the MILF with black leather boots at the PTA (parent/teacher assoc.) meeting?
I live in jeans and usually a black t shirt. I like it plain and simple. Timberland boots in the winter and flip flops in the summer :) I own so many pairs of shoes and boots that I have to remind myself to wear different ones all the time.
4. We all know we're ALL a few brain cells shy of what we were born with. But how did that come to be? Did you party? How much? What kinds of illegal substances have you ingested? Give us a brief party history of your life and where you currently stand on the party scale today.
I was a major party animal from the age of 15 to 19, just drinking though. Then over the years and having kids i rarely drink. I've done speed, a few spliffs and the odd space cake :) I was pissed last Friday and I still felt like warmed up shit on Sunday. I can't do it anymore lol
5. What three adjectives will fellow Twitards use to describe you after FFFFOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKSSSSS or any other weekend of drunken debauchery?
Silly Fat Fucker :)
Fab questions xxx
Check it out, hos! It's been a couple of weeks since I managed to participate in one of these. I suck, I know. Anyhoo...here are my answers. Now I'm gonna go back and read yours.
1. 80's Sit-com...I absolutely loved The Cosby Show. I think mostly because it was sooooo vastly different from my upbringing. You know, white girl living in small town USA...But if you want to know my guilty pleasure, it's Saved By The Bell (that was the 80s, right?) I will stop what I'm doing and watch that show any time I see it on!
2. Gah! Five sentences or less? Ok, here goes nothing: Edward and Bella get married and on their honeymoon they fuck...a lot. She becomes a Vampire and they fuck even more, introducing all sorts of implements and devices. They all live happily ever after. Really, because they're Vampires... (There will be no mention of the Volturi or Renesmee...sorry, but Jake will just have to go get Bi-zay with Leah. When she opens her mouth to speak, he can just stuff his dick in there to shut her the fuck up, the whiney bitch.)
3. You want to know about my clothes? Uh...ok. I wear lots of Khaki pants and casual dress slacks, paired with simple sweaters and polo shirts. I work in a bank where we have a fairly casual attitude, so I have been known to wear flip flops to work...the good ones, though. *wink* My weekend gear is jeans and tee-shirts (ooooohhh, aaaaahhhh). I don't like to wear my tennies too much, so I wear my black boots with both work clothes and jeans. In the summer I don't wear shorts (in public) but I will wear capris, and I wear sandals/flip flops all the time so I can show off my toenails which I always keep painted and will put flowers and such on. BTW, I don't keep my...er...toys in my closet. Too far away from the bed.
4. I wasn't too much of a partier in my younger days, although I did enjoy them when I went. (I actually met my husband at a beer party...he likes to say that's why we don't go out drinking anymore.) I love me some margaritas, especially with TigerlilyRose. I don't smoke anything. I tried cigs in High School, but couldn't inhale without coughing...unless it was...um, I think we called it french inhaling. I could do that. (Fill your mouth with smoke and let it drift out slowly and breathe it in thru your nose.) Never tried any other drugs...never had the opportunity, actually. Jeez, I sound like a real bore. Let me just put it this way...I met Mr. TW when I was 16. We prefered to go somewhere and fuck rather than get drunk with a bunch of so-called-friends. Ahhhh...good times.
5. Fucking drunken orgy! WooHoo! Hmmm...if you bitches really do have a fucking orgy in FFFFFFOOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKSSSSS, I swear, I will never forgive myself for not going. (Did I just say that?)
@Becky - Where's my answers? Half saved in word still decorating only with the 'help' of the kids *sigh*
@Stan I have been tidying while Husband plays on the PS3 with eldest son. Where is the justice in that!!! Its his family coming aswell!!! Lazy fucker.
@Mary I used to love Wayne. Not so much now though after looking at the pic again, lol!
Hello ladies!!!
1) 80s sitcom---Family ties. Loved kirk Cameron!
2)Breaking Dawn
Edward and Bella get married. They have sex on the beach and Bella gets pregnant. Bella has the baby and becomes a Vampire. The Volturi come back and there's another 'almost' fight. They all lived happily ever after.
3)Jeans and black shirts, and black boots...like you didn't know. I wear yoga pants and tank tops all the time too...and they are all pretty much black as well!
4)I did some drinking and I smoked some pot in my younger days, but that's about it! Nothing too harsh...so we can blame the lack of brain cells on my not really having that many to begin with. LOL!
5)Oh boy, that Mrs. P is a "Tiny, giggling, smart ass." Yup..that just about sums me up!
@ Becky reminded me...I did have a loaded brownie once. I was about 5, and my dad either didn't get them put up, or thought it would be funny to get his young daughter high. Not sure which, but suffice it say, he did not will parent of the year.
@ Snarkastic M - Bwahahahaha @ I once drank a 1/2 full dixie cup full of wine and passed out... Can you say lightweight?
@ Mrs. P - Kirk Cameron was in Growing Pains. Michael J. Fox was in Family Ties. Sheesh, woman!
Jeebus blogger ate my comment.
1)I watched kids' shows during the 80s.
2)Edward and Bella fuck for eternity. The end.
3)I'm pretty casual. Jeans and a top.
4)So I was perma-drunk for my first year of university and I used my baking skills in other, more creative uses.
5) I asked Mr CC to help me with this one. His response "smart, great tits" then I punched him in the arm. Honestly, I don't know. I'm hoping people just like me.
Hm, thank god I didn't get the Jake doll, or I would probably find that installment in my living room as well. :D
On with the answers:
1. I was born in 1980, so really, I was too young to remember much from the 80s themselves, but of course, I did watch a lot of sitcoms and listen to a lot of music from that era. I think one of the best series from that period is Moonlighting. Too entertaining.
2. Alternate BD (I couldn't make it less than 5 sentences, sorry):
After Edward and Bella are married, they go to their honeymoon in Brazil, where they fuck each other senseless. During this time, Bella gets pregnant, but soon after, she starts bleeding, having a miscarriage. The smell of blood is too much for Edward to bear, so he lunges himself at Bella, sucking the blood directly from her pussy. Once he essentially eats the fetus, and thus cleans Bella's uterus, Edward finds the will to stop.
Bella, however, becomes so utterly disgusted with her newborn husband, and the experience scars for life so much so, that she loses all taste in men, and becomes a lesbian. And, Edward? Well, after discovering how good sex actually is, he goes all Don Juan de Marco, and fucks every female to oblivion, ultimately making womankind satisfied and glowing. He and Bella never meet again.
:D
3. I don't follow fashion. I am my own stylist - but, believe you me, everyone turns their head after me. My clothing style ranges from black to flowery, depending on my mood. I wear both Dr. Martens and high heels. I always, always wear a necklace of some kind.
4. I was a party goer extreme up until a few years ago. I went out every weekend. Used to smoke pot on daily basis, did E a few times, shrooms (by far my favourite), and acid as well. Haven't tried any other shit out there, nor do I plan to. Now, I smoke pot like once every few months, and my only vice is smoking and I drink socially. That's it. I am satisfied, because I got the partying out of my system. And, I did all that, and lived to tell.
5. Hilarious, full of life and helluva dancer. :D
1. We all experienced the WTF era called the 80's, if not - you're too young to be on this site - so just go! Anyway - the 80's produced some well-known sitcoms from Roseanne to Family Ties, The Cosby Show to 227, Growing Pains to the Facts of Life, and from What's Happening to The Golden Girls, and many many more! Which of the way-too-many 80's sitcoms was/is one of your favorite guilty pleasures? And ladies from around the world - share your 80's sitcoms from your area with us too!
A. My favorite was definitely Family Ties. My parents would allow me to watch The Cosby show & then FT on Friday nights. Gotta love "Alex P. Keaton!
2. It's 2008... Oh no! You're at the publishing house and accidentally erase Breaking Dawn from all sources. Seizing the opportunity, you replace the entire novel with a five sentence or less ending to the Twilight Saga. Here's your shot ladies!
Edward, in a fit of carnal/erotic furry, changes Bella on Isle Esme following their wedding. There, she is allowed to re-coup before heading back to Forks. They stay in Forks for a few more months & then move w/ the entire Cullen family to England, so that Bella & Edward can attend Oxford University together. They of course live happily ever after.
3. Let's get into each other's closets to see what's hiding in there... Actually, let's just stop with the clothes, I know enough about you ladies to dig too deep. What is your fashion sense and style? Is there an article of clothing you can't live without? Are you the sporty soccer mom, or the MILF with black leather boots at the PTA (parent/teacher assoc.) meeting?
The MILF would be Mrs. P...in her boots, cheering on her sons football team, whip n' hand ;) lmao!
As for me, I'm kind of a t-shirt (not like a standard t-shirt...think GAP or JCrew) and jeans type gal..I'm also pretty simple and don't wear tons of accessories. I also LIVE in my fip flops.
4. We all know we're ALL a few brain cells shy of what we were born with. But how did that come to be? Did you party? How much? What kinds of illegal substances have you ingested? Give us a brief party history of your life and where you currently stand on the party scale today.
I have NEVER been that wild. Sure I went out once or twice a week when I was in my early 20's...but it wore out fast. I have never done drugs (ok i tried pot twice..w/ my mom mind you!)...anyhoo I have a glass of wine or a beer pretty much every night...But rarely go overboard...i'm just me.
5. What three adjectives will fellow Twitards use to describe you after FFFFOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKSSSSS or any other weekend of drunken debauchery?
OOH I LOVE this question:
Jen is short, sassy & a sweetheart.
@SV~ Killer queries hookah! I must tend to the kidlets for a bit, but I'll ponder and be baaaaaaaack....
Miss E huh? I kinda likey...It's a whole fuck lot better than Ma'am.
Ok well I have not long dragged my ass out of bed-not due to partying-fucking migraine again.I've now prgressed to the sofa and into the dining room, I won't last long on here before I die again so here it goes.
1)80's sitocm- The Young Ones-I totally loved, Neil, Vivian, Rick and Mike-I absolutely used to mimic Vivian all the time oh yes I was that sad-The anarchic, violent shit they got up to was my thing. Next to that it was Red Dwarf-Cat was my ultimate favourite then Kryton so YAY Becky and Poptarrts.
2)Breaking Dawn-(1)Edward & Bella marry and piss Jake off.
(2)Edward & Bella have sex,Bella gets pregnant, pisses Jake off more, has a baby and almost dies.
(3)Jake imprints on baby, pisses Bella off, almost gets killed, lots of people arrive and are impressed with baby.
(4)Volturi arrive to fuck everything up and Bella saves day with mega vampiric skills that make her way cool (who knew!?)
(5) Edward & Bella have loads of shit hot sex and live happily ever after (harumpf)
3)Clothes-Um I've pretty much worn black every day since I was 15. I lived in leggings & Doc Martens and huge mens shirts with little vests underneath and ginormous fuck off bullet belts. Later I developed a stevie nicks goth look, long skirts, lotsa cleavage, witchy pointy boots. I did twice go out in an orange and pink combo just to confuse people, oh yeah and I went clubbing in a pair of paisley pyjamas (men-I sewed fly hole up)I got married in a red and black medieveal dress, I wear black pretty much all the time, I do wear jeans, I have developed a few colours, khaki, dark blue, red, white in summer otherwise its er black basically. Work in black trousers, blacks t shirt or shirt, black cardigan or jumper, black fuck me shoes or boots...what can I sat I like black. I'm wearing it now lol
4)Party history-Oh my I said this was gonna be short...I started going in pubs at 14, I started smoking pot and 15, I actually lived in my local for a while when I got kicked out of home, I've done shrooms (Jelly-hi 5)acid, E's, speed, coke and drank so much I'm amazed I am alive. At 25 I sat in a tent in a field totally burnt out and realised I'd been doing this for 11 years and was totally fucked up. Did I stop, no but I left my husband who used to put speed in my drinks cos he didn't wanna do it without me..sigh. I carried on drinking heavily until I found out I was pregnant when I stopped everything. I had stopped speeding & coke so much before that as I was staying awake and not eating sometimes for up to 3 days. I have woken up in peoples gardens, in a guys van, in hospital and once I fell backwards down my stairs narrowly missing caving my head in on the radiator after going on an all dayer with a mate. I do drink at home but not so much, I go out to gigs and comedy gigs but not drinking. Sometimes I get my old drinking head on and party hearty but regret it for the next 2 days lol. I was an animal, I'm constantly relieved I have never been raped or killed or died through being sick in my sleep. It wasn't pretty, a lot of it wasn't clever but I did have a lot of good times and I totally believe in "regret nothing" it made me the crazy ho I am today!!
5)er I have a nick name given me after a memorable night out with my sistah (in spirit) Stacey aka Matini, its Scarlet (the Lesbian Vampire- I think I have explained tis in a past blog so I won't do it again unless asked LOL-So yep I would say that I'd probably get named the same again that or Stop that Sarah!
I'm feeling better after that lol, head ache is receding better than I thought but son wants back on here so catch you later ho's. Hve a great weekend xx
happy friday hos
i love the mini beacob bending mini-e over pose!!! where's chimpsten w/ the strap on? lol
Posting & then going back to read
1. Which of the way-too-many 80's sitcoms was/is one of your favorite guilty pleasures? And ladies from around the world - share your 80's sitcoms from your area with us too!
Hard to pick just one so, Facts of Life, Fresh Prince of BelAire, The Cosby Show, A Diff’rent World
2. It's 2008... Oh no! Here's your shot ladies!
Bella closed her eyes, feeling happy and content at last. Only to open them a moment later in a panic. She quickly looked left and right realizing she was alone, in the dessert with the hot sun blazing overhead. Her breath quickened as she realized her skin was pale and sallow. It had all been a dream.
3. What is your fashion sense and style?
My bff calls me a MILF- I beg to differ. I have no fashion sense. But when I’m feeling particularly kick ass- there’s nothing like throwing on my favorite jeans, peep toe black patent leather stilettos and wrap shirt that shows off the girls.
4. Give us a brief party history of your life and where you currently stand on the party scale today.
I plead the 5th. Nothing over the top- hey they monitor these computers at work. Nothing as hard as George Bush – more Bill Clintonesque. Truly I didn’t party until I got to college and I had the best time of my life (yea- it took me 5 years instead of 4). I don’t party now- except for the occasional trip to Vegas. And we all know what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas *wink-wink*
5. Three adjectives: Loyal, Kick ass & Eager
(love the mini beacob bending mini e over pose!!! where's chimpsten w/ the strap on? lol)
@Jayla-Stan wrote unravelled I wrote the office-LOL I wish nah I haven't written any fic but I may have a go while I'm off at end of month xx
@Nibbles- Gah- sorry for the name error!!!
LOL, tis ok chicken-its very good in't it, I love Stans fics-also love call of booty, haven't commented on i lately cos I hd to print it off at work to read it at home when I couldn't stand to be on computer!
@Nibbes I forgot all about the Young Ones!! I loved that. My fav was Rick, I had a bit of a thing for Rik Mayall. I hated Mike though!
Hey ladies! Happy Friday!
Here are my answers:
1. 80's sitcom.
I remember watching Growing Pains when Leonardo DeCaprio was on it. It was his first acting job and he was CUTE! And @TwiWeasel - I LOVE Saved By the Bell!!! I was up all night sick a few weeks ago and watched like six episodes in a row.
2. Rewriting BD.
Honeymoon on Isle Esme is long and sex-filled. In a fit of passion, Edward changes Bella. She's a vampire when they return to Forks, but they only stop by to say their hellos before touring around the world. They stop by Italy to show the Volturi Bella's changed, but Jane goes richtor and a fight breaks out between her and Bella - Bella wins with her newborn strength - natch! Jake and Leah have puppies together and live a long and wolfy life.
3. My style.
I'm most definitely a tee-shirt and jeans kind of girl. I love hoodies and Doc Martens. And I couldn't live without flip-flops.
4. Party history.
Well - besides Nibbles, I feel like the bad influence here. I started drinking at 14, smoked pot at 16 and did both occasionally until we decided to get pregnant at 20. After a few years I did end up trying a few things I'd never dreamed of doing - coke, mushrooms, and a bit too much E. Then I went through a very sober time for about 3 years, just because I had other priorities. Now - I drink once or twice a week at night (sometimes less) and smoke pot occassionally.
5. 3 Adjectives.
Cute (people always call me cute), Funny, and Sweet. These were WAY harder to come up with than I would've thought.
Well girls! I'll pick a winner by tomorrow. I can't wait to get to read them all! I puffy heart you all! Mwah! XOXOXO
@Poptarrt - There was no age-ism intended - promise. You could always have answered 90's sitcoms, instead. I would've counted them. :) And my 7th grade side pony-tail in 1989 was AWESOME! J/K. I honestly can't believe my daughter's generation is actually mimicking the 80's fashion! WTF?! It sucked then and we know better now!
@Mary - I MUST know what "spliffs" and "space cakes" are! I'm dying. LOL!
@E - I can't wait to read your answers!
@All - 3 more things you may call me: sarcastic, nerdy/smart, and bold.
Okays, I'll answer first and read all the good stuff after...
1) My fave 80's show hands down was The Cosby Show. I wanted to be a Huxtable so bad!!
2) Fade to black. That is all you need to know.
3) My fashion motto is "Dress for comfort, not style". Mr. Pantz often tells me I dress "like a dude" and I'm ok with that. After years of toting around babies, breastfeeding, getting puked, pooped, and pissed on sometimes all at once...I pretty much don't wear anything that I wouldn't want to see get ruined instantaneously. Meh.
My must have is a really good bra. I have huge knockers. I mean jumbo...44DD's and if I don't have a fuctastic bra on my my whole day goes in the shitter.
4) This will probably not surprise many of you, but with the exception of Heroin and Ex...you name it, I've done it. I never shot anything into a vein, but I've smoked, snorted, dropped, drank, or eaten just about everything. Crack? Check. Nitrous? Check. Meth? Check. Acid? Check. Mushrooms? Check. Hash? Check. Weed? Checkcheckcheck. In my defense, my parents were hippies and my Dad was the biggest Dead Head I've ever met, so I had plenty of exposure. I was the epitome of the party girl/wild child.
These days I only drink whiskey and toke the ganj. Shocking, right??? ;) Oh, and I smoke about a 1/2 pack of Camel Lights a day....
4) Another shocker...I'm the life of the party. I'm the funny, daring, foulmouthed drunky biatch that has been known to get into trouble (somehow I've never been arrested...yet) which is why it hurts my heart that FOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRKKKKKKSSSS is prolly not gonna be a reality for me. **sniffles**
But I'm sure the 3 words would be...
Funny.
Sweet.
Badass.
Wow. Awesome ??'s.
I need to go to my corner and mumble incoherently while rocking back and forth and hugging myself.
xoxo
E
1: The Young Ones...fuckin brilliant...even on this side of the pond!!
2: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM (okay, I thought it said 5 words, not 5 sentences, noticed the discrepancy as I scrolled down, and decided I still like my original answer.
3: My Dead Milkmen concert shirt.
4: I was a dropper of acid and ingester of shrooms. And it was heavenly. Location, location, location...and good company. My roommate would come home every Friday from work and say "it's FRYYYYYYDDAAAAYYY" LOL, good times. That was about 3 good years of fuckery. I used to smoke some pot, but mostly just one hitter to get to sleep as I have insomnia issues...but even that was 10 years ago. Nowadays, it is all about the booze!
5: Slow down, bitch!
***Don't pick me to win*** be glad I am back at all, I am having to ease my way back in after major RL fuckery...thanks! Muwah..have missed you ALL!!!!
1. Which of the way-too-many 80's sitcoms was/is one of your favorite guilty pleasures?
Dukes of Hazard ok not really a sitcom so Designing Women I always liked.
2. It's 2008... Oh no! You're at the publishing house and accidentally erase Breaking Dawn from all sources. Seizing the opportunity, you replace the entire novel with a five sentence or less ending to the Twilight Saga. Here's your shot ladies!
I got nothing for this one.
3. What is your fashion sense and style? Is there an article of clothing you can't live without? Are you the sporty soccer mom, or the MILF with black leather boots at the PTA (parent/teacher assoc.) meeting?
Business casual is my style as best as I can put it. I love sweaters and winter clothing more than summer clothing.
4. We all know we're ALL a few brain cells shy of what we were born with. But how did that come to be? Did you party? How much? What kinds of illegal substances have you ingested? Give us a brief party history of your life and where you currently stand on the party scale today.
I have never drunk alcohol, I have never done drugs and I have never smoked anything. So does this mean I have an over abundance of brain cells??? LOL
5. What three adjectives will fellow Twitards use to describe you after FFFFOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKSSSSS or any other weekend of drunken debauchery?
Responsible, witty and sweet.
JEEBUS, but these questions are getting deep and detailed! Don't you want to know if I would fuck Rob in a bathroom anymore?? LOL.
OK, writing, then reading, as always...
1)80's sitcom guilty pleasure: I fucking love Roseanne (with original Becky). New Becky sucks (although Sarah Chalke, as a rule, is awesome, she is NOT Becky). In fact, that's right about where the show started to lose it for me, although I will still watch them. The early episodes are my faves.
I also love me some Cosby Show, especially the episodes where they do the lip-synch performances for the adorable grandparents when Rudy was little. HI-larious.
2) OK, *ahem*:
"Looking down at the engagement ring, I became overwhelmed with emotion, and Edward, noticing the tears shining in my eyes, asked me what was wrong. Wordlessly, I straddled him right there, and pressed my lips to his as I began to undo the buttons of his shirt. Slowly, we undressed one another, as he somehow understood I had changed my mind and was taking him up on his earlier offer of making love right here, right now, in our meadow. Once naked, he laid me back on the soft grass and confessed with dark eyes that he couldn't control himself any longer and he had to taste me now - my heart sped as I thought he meant my blood, and then raced faster as he lowered his mouth to my most intimate area and started making small circles with his tongue around the swollen flesh, alternating the movements with slight suction until I was coming undone, thrashing, and crying out for more. Edward's mouth was suddenly on mine then, again, as he entered me deeply, and I knew I was home."
3) *deep breath* OK, I'm more of a fashion dreamer than a reality star, so I would describe my ideal fashion style as sort of contemporary classic. I really like classic stuff, like a white tee and worn-in jeans, or black slacks and a nice sweater (for work). I can't live without my Dansko's - I fucking live in those things, and I know they're kind of an eyesore, but they are so damn comfy. I have two pair. I love love love jeans and yoga pants and sweatpants, and I'd rather wear a tank top than any other shirt (which, you know, is not very feasible in our PNW weather). I wish I had more money to spend on clothes, because then I would be a damn Alice in disguise. I covet a LOT of clothes, especially the sweater that Mary J Blige wears in that one ad - it's long and gray and she pulls the hood over her head, and I looked it up and it costs like $1400 or something stupid.
4) It will come as no surprise to you (since I grew up in Portland) that I was a bit of a stoner in my younger years. I still would be, from time to time, if TH wasn't such a conservative about stuff like that. He's no fun at all, but he does like to drink, so I just do that now. I haven't had pot in more than 5 years now (my last time was at my good friend's wedding reception the summer before I met TH), but once when I was a teenager, I got so baked on some bad stuff that I got convinced it was laced and I was OD-ing and my lungs were filling with blood. Hallucinations are so fun, right? My best friend refused to take me to the hospital (she turned out to be right, but I thought she was a cold bitch in the moment, LOL). Fun times. Anyway, just marijuana and alcohol for me (and only booze anymore) - I'm too chicken to try anything harder!
5) Three adjectives y'all will use for me? Loud, crazy, and dramatic, I'm sure. :-) But I can't wait to meet you!!!
OK, off to read all of your awesome answers!
@Poptart: when I read the post I thought to myself "people born in 1990 would be 20 now" and then I tripped the fuck out on that thought, and laughed later when I read your "Ummm... I was born in 1990" comment. It blows my fucking mind that people born in 1990 can almost drink legally. That's wrong. I may be having a pre-mid-life crisis right here and now.
@SnarcasticM - love the dixie-cup-of-wine and passing out - wine makes me sleepy, too, but I still LOVE IT!
@TwiWeasel: "he can just stuff his dick in there to shut her the fuck up, the whiney bitch" LMFAO - awesome.
@Jelena: OK, I liked your BD rewrite EXCEPT for the Edward-mouth-vacuuming of the miscarriage, that's so fucking wrong, LOL. You totally made me cringe! Blech! LMAO, so gross.
@Jayla: I LOOOOVE your version of BD. Excellent. Almost like the end of St Elsewhere.
@sEp: girl, I'm bouts ready to take the whole fucking week off around Forks and drive my ass out to Minnesota to get you and then drive us both the fuck out to Forks and then drive you the FUCK back again, just to meet your ass. You fucking feel me? That's more than 7,000 miles. Fucking road trip, grrl. FUCK!
@FFZ: LMFAO at NOM NOM NOM... hilarious.
Love you all, love the qu's!
@MB~ I'm tryna work out a plan...and I've had to drive halfway across the country and back 2x since x-mas so I could probably make the drive standing on my face. In Dec. we drove from MN to GA and back, and then in Feb. we drove to MD and back. You are a little temptress...
@sEp - LMAO, that's what they tell me!
@Twiweasel---FUCK ME!!!! yes, then I need to change my answer to Growing Pains. LMAO!!!
OK, I haven't read anyone else's answers yet. My first time flying blind. Here goes...
80’s Sitcoms
I watched a lot of sitcoms in the 80’s and loved them, many already mentioned. But my FAVES were the action shows:
THE A-TEAM – Don’t laugh, but I totally had a thing for Murdock. I said don’t laugh, dammit!
Knight Rider – When the Hoff was hot.
MacGyver – The only mullet I would ever run my fingers through and MOAN.
Twilight Saga Ending
“Marry me, Bella.”
*GASP* “No, Edward, I hate weddings, expensive rings and I’d rather spend eternity being an indecisive whore, toying with you and Jacob.”
“Oh, well in that case you can have the dog - I’m gonna call Coffee. See ya.”
*phone dialing* *click*
“Coffee here… Oh, hey Edward, what’s perkin’ hot stuff?”
“Pack your bags, baby, we’re leaving for Rio in an hour.”
Clothes
I’m somewhere in between soccer mom and MILF. I’ve always been a tomboy at heart, but I really like to dress up, too. You won’t find a pair of knee high boots in my closet though. I haven’t gone that far. I’m losing a lot of weight right now, so most of my clothes are getting really baggy on me. Almost 20 lbs since Jan 1st. Woot!
Party!
My first and last taste of an illegal substance was when I was 7 years old. My 15 year old big brother thought it would be funny to get me high, so he let me have a couple drags of his joint. I was higher than a kite and my mom was PISSED! She tore the shit out of his room. His Farrah Fawcett and Iron Maiden posters were shredded and thrown in the trash with his boom box on top! HA! I’ll never forget that. *sigh* good times…
I wasn’t much of a partier growing up. When I was 20 though, a co-worker of mine invited me out drinking with some friends, one of them looked like me so she let me use her military id to get into the bar. Holy shit I was so scared the bouncer was going to bounce me out on my head – he was big. But it was all good and even better when I saw this guy Kelly checking me out. I didn’t know he was in the military until we started talking. OMG he was fuckhawt! (Like a cross between David Duchovny and Richard Gere. Don’t laugh – at the time the Precious was like 10 yrs old.) I ended up having a week-long torrid romance with Kelly until he had to fly home. That man was an illegal substance and I think he took some of my brain cells with him. *thud*
Now, I’m a working mom so I don’t get much chance to party. A couple years ago though, my sister-in-law took me out for a girls night and I got more shitfaced than I’ve ever been in my life. I think it was the Long Island ice teas that did it and I lost count. I lost my mind and forgot that I can’t handle much alcohol. Oh-mah-gawd, I was so fucking sick the next day. I’ve never drank much since.
Forks – 3 Words
Lightweight Horny Bitch
hmmm. i know i'm fashionably late to this patry, so i brought 2 bottles of cabo wabo and a crate of limes to make up for it. this should be interesting...
(without reading any previous comments as i belive is customary?)
#1. - do i still need to like the show? i think the show that owned me the longest through the 80's, believe it or not, was diff'rent strokes. i think i've seen every episode. and just for fun we'll give an honorable mention to square pegs.
#2. - "gosh, sorry about this. i know it was your only manuscript and was irreplaceable. really, the fire just got out of hand. now i kind of wish i had read the books so i could have at least tried to make something up. if you need to dock my pay, i understand."
#3. - this t-shirt
#4. - one good thing is that i was 18 before i started killing off brain cells. i smoked pot first the summer before my only year at college. then i discovered vodka. after i moved in with my brother a year later i learned about psychedelics like acid and mushrooms and peyote. they were particularly fun. i've also tried cocaine, crack, and meth. are we counting legal stuff like ephedrin? never tried heroin. i fugured if i was willing to try all of that other stuff i probably had the type of genes that should stay away from heroin. plus no one has a positive heroin story, you know? "this one time i stole a microwave and pawned it so i could shoot up and suddenly we were surrounded by kittens and cotton candy!" doesn't happen.
i am by no means against partying these days, however i can't do it with the same reckless abandon as i did when i was young. unless there's a babysitter at home and a hotel room involved...
#5 - i have a feeling that answering this question could get me into some serious trouble so i think i'll just stop there for the night. :)
thanks for letting me play, i had fun!
@TMC ~ This is fun no?? I'm a noob too, but these chicks are dope. Speaking of dope...don't do it. (hi big brother! **waves**)
Ahem.
That aside, don't ever ever ever ever drink Long Island's...they have distilled demons in them. I speak from experience. ;B
@Mr. P ~ What the motherfuck are you doing here!!!???
I mean, wow. It's cool as fuck to have you jump in...you crack me up, I was just surprised that you would be into this. XD
Ok...I'm a bit late to this party. This is now the Saturday fun Five for me. I had a busy day yesterday I can't help it.
Ok..and for the record @poptarrts is the oldest 20 yr old I know. Seriously. I'm more of a kid than her sometimes and I'm 9 years older than her.
1. My fav sitcom in the 80's was totally Full House. I know that is late 80's...1987 to be exact but holy shit I watched and rewatched that show hundreds of times. I think Uncle Jesse may have been my first major crush.
2. Ugggh...We all know how I feel about this Book. How about...just one sentance.
"Bella and Edward end up happily ever after and Jacob meets an awesome girl name Charli who rocks his world."
That's how it should've ended.
3. I like to be different from everyone else. I hate blending.
I have several visible tattoos (working on a half sleeve at the moment) and I rock what could best be described as "rock-a-billy" type of look. I have Bettie Page bangs and when I go out I do my hair in retro styles. Complete with victory rolls and flowers.
I usually wear jeans but I love skirts as well. I like vintage t-shirts and rock style clothes in general. Pretty much anything vintage/modern pin-up.
If I could buy every outfit on this site I would. http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/
4. Oy...college was a very fun time for me. Tried lots and lots of stuff. We used to roll..A LOT. Lots of raver madness in my world. Good lord was that a good time. I still party a lot but it's mostly drinking...mostly. LMFAO. I can drink most people under the table. It's pretty sad. I keep up with the big boys when we go out. However I do not drink AT ALL when I'm at home. No wine, no beer after work. I am a total binge drinker. Which is not good either...lmfao.
5. Forks is going to be big fat fun. So full of win my head will surely explode. I think I will wait and see what happens before I answer this question.
Good times, good questions.
@mr and mrs smarts woah party on dudes! Shit you 2 that was some serious frickin partying. Mrs P is always popping on here smarts she is a regular lol. Hope to be back to normal posting soon no more migraines fingers crossed x
@Musing Bella - LoL! It's supposed to make you cringe. I'm disgusted by it myself, as much as I was disgusted reading about Edward opening Bella's stomach with his teeth. This was just a twist on the story. :D
Hm, aren't we a bunch of ex junkies here. Ah, the good old days. :D
Hey jelly x any post yet? You want me to send your book to your mums?
Okay ladies - I LOVED reading all of your answers! And just as I suspected, I'm not the only girl with wild child days in her past and sometimes present. LMFAO! I puffy heart you all, but I DO have to pick a winner. So the winner is...
MusingBella!
She won me over in the end with her fuckhawt BD rewrite. And I'm a dirty dirty girl!
@MB - Good luck with coming up with questions for us. I can't wait to read them. :)
OMG! I got a texty-tweet from SV to tell me the good news while I was out drinking at Mrs Fashion's 30th BD party, and this is SOOO exciting!!! I hoped you would like a little BD soft porn. ;)
OK, I'll start thinking of questions - this is so exciting! Thanks, SV!!!
P.S. I'm actually watching a Roseanne rerun RIGHT NOW. :)
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