Thursday, 6 May 2010

Community FanFic Thursday - It's AH time!


Oh yep, he's def all human *slurp*

Yep, I think it's time for an AH, or All Human fic!  No vampire speed shagging, no bestiality (well, not with werewolves anyway) and no venom glistening on any part of anybody's anatomy. 
I'm late posting today thanks to my busy lifestyle(!) - yet another appointment with Will, a special chair for at school this time, and then took H for a haircut because the photographer's comoing to nursery tomorrow. It's all exciting stuff here, I can tell you!  Oh, and don;t even get me started on the fact it's general election day over here!  No, seriously, don't.  I hate politics, I'll be asleep quicker than Bella with Edward singing her lullaby to her.

"So then Gordon Brown said *Edward adopts Scottish accent* 'I've talked to people who are frustrated like me that the big issues are....Bella?  Bella?"

Ok, CFF fans, here we go....Oh did I forget to mention it was going to be Brit? ;o)

  "Mmm, thanks Jean, that was delicious!"  I said to the small woman with the greasy permed hair and grubby pinny, who ran my favourite local greasy spoon.  I placed my knife and fork back down on the plate and wiped my greasy hands on the paper napkin on the table.  You couldn't beat a good fry-up to start the day, and the way that Jean fried the black pudding in lard meant it was just about the best you could get. 
  She smiled at me.
  "You're welcome love.  Will I see you tomorrow?"
  I picked up the mug and drained the last of my tea, before putting it back on the scratched formica table top and scraping my chair back as I stood.
 "Yep, can't see why not.  Laters baby!"
  I could still hear her giggling as I pulled the door open, the bell above it jangling noisily.

  As I reached the van Emmett was just putting his fag out on the ground.  He turned to look at me, an unreadable expression on his face.
  "What's up?"  I asked him, freezing with one hand on the door handle.
  "Jasper just called.  You'll never guess what's happened."
  "What?" I asked.  Emmett took a deep breath before he replied....



7 comments:

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

"Jasper just called. You'll never guess what's happened."
"What?" I asked. Emmett took a deep breath before he replied....

"Jasper just fell in the loo. He broke his crown, and Alice is on her way to the hospital with him."

I couldn't believe it. We jumped in the van and headed there ourselves, driving on the left side of the road.

Stan said...

He broke his crown? PMSL!

Mary said...

my turn

Mary said...

"Jasper just called. You'll never guess what's happened."
"What?" I asked. Emmett took a deep breath before he replied....

"Jasper just fell in the loo. He broke his crown, and Alice is on her way to the hospital with him."

I couldn't believe it. We jumped in the van and headed there ourselves, driving on the left side of the road.

"I take it you mean the crown on his tooth" I asked Emmett
"and how the fuck did he fall in the loo?"

Emmett started laughing as he tuned into Radio 1. "I fucking love Chris Moyles in the mornings"
"Anyway about Jasper" he said " Apparently it was happy hour all night at the Horse and Hounds and you know what he's like when he gets on the Magners"
I lean over to nick a fag from Emmett and spark up. As I inhale I let my mind wander to the bloke I picked up in the club last night. Fuck what was his name? I remember him being tall and lean with big hair. Not my usual type but I do recall snogging him for most of the night.
Just then my phone rings..........

StarlitViolets said...

Even though I'm incredibly intimidated after Mary's post, I'm going to give it my best shot.

Here I go...

StarlitViolets said...

Just then my phone rings..........

"Fucking wanker, quit ringing me!" I shouted at my mobile. Simon. Why was he always ringing me up at the most inopportune mo's?

What was I on about? Right - snogging. That bloke had the arms of an octopus and the suction to match! But I'd had my way with him and last saw him staring at the boot of my Vanquish as I drove off to meet Emmett.

As Emmett revved along the motorway, the speed drove my body into an adrenaline-induced, knicker-wetting frenzy. It was all I could do to keep from...

NibbleitPattinsonakaNebilet said...

I cannot believe I missed a cff :0( mind you my smexy is kinda on the back burner at the mo lol but still..... Was I missed?