Friday, 25 June 2010

Friday Fun Fiiiiiiive...Friday I'm in love

Hi ladies and ho bags (nods to Lady M) how's it hanging? Mine is not hanging so well, I've been a bit crap with my diet this week. I hate dieting, I loathe it, I love food, unfortunately any food. I like indian, chinese, mexican, italian, english, spanish, whatever I just love food, savoury or sweet sigh....I have crap willpower too. Funny when I stopped smoking I just stopped, when I stopped drugs many, many years ago I just stopped but food...OMG why, why do you have to be so good, smell so good, taste so good. Why do I like cooking...arghhhhhhhh. Right now that I have that off my chest we can carry on to the good stuff....last weeks winner was the lovely and beauteous TigerLilyRose (hi 5's) as picked by the equally gorgeous Starlitviolets (bumps hips) so over to TLR...(pushes in direction of stage...psssst you're on) My comments are in red as per usual... don't wanna talk? You just want to ask the questions? Ok....jeez TLR you're never this shy when we're on our own...oops let that slip didn't I hehe.

1) If you were an animal, what animal would you most likely be? (If I was an animal...hunny..please...I AM an animal bwahahaha)

Yeah ok, I know I couldn't find a picture of him as an animal sigh

Yeah I also know you have seen this but fuuuuck, this does things to me so bad am I forgiven for crappy lion lamb thing now?

2) How many hours a day do you spend online...(not working) i.e. surfing, FF, Twitter, IM, Email, etc. These should be interesting answers from some of you lmao

She reminds me of someone....

3) We have all heard dirty limericks like....There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could SUCK it, He said once with a grin, Whilst wiping his chin, If my ear were a cunt I would FUCK it.

Write a dirty limerick about a Twilight character...

No passes....think of a poem!!!

4) Name the one thing your S/O could do that you could not forgive. (even if you know they wouldn't really do it)

I would seriously do shit like this.....and he knows it lol

5) If you were stuck in an elevator with a Teletubby, Barney, Spongebob, and Stewie from the Family Guy, which one would you kill first?

Oh, oooo, ooooh yeah, that feeels soooooo gooood

So there you have it people the friday fun five...with actually 5 questions as opposed to 6, 7, extra credit etc, I think I started a trend the day I accidentally did 6 questions lol. Do we love the FFF that much we just want more questions pmsl. Can't wait to read some of these answers. TLR...brilliant if I may say so!!

I had to show you the one with the hood down...owned..


NibbleitPattinsonakaNebilet said...

Oh dear lord I fucking love those hoody pictures, I have fallen in love all over again...sigh. BBL to answer

Jelena @ Twiholic said...

I know I said on FB that I'm getting sick of that hoodie pic... I lied. PMSL

1. Tempted to say cougar, but I'm not there yet, LoL, so I'd be an Eagle. That's one of my favourite animals. Would love to fly.

2. Uh... Geez... how many hours do I spend awake? Like for real, probably at least 10 hours a day.

3. I don't know any limericks. I think I can be forgiven for not growing up in an English speaking environment. :D

4. Ask to bring in a second wife and make our marriage plural. Shudder. I'm nauseous just thinking about it.

5. Teletubby, for sure. I've never watched that shit, nor did I ever watch Barney, but I've seen enough to know who would be at the top of that kill list.
Btw, I love Spongebob. He's hilarious.

NibbleitPattinsonakaNebilet said...

Ooooo you're a naughty Jelly, time for a spanking me thinks hehe...

Ok I'm gonna answer these

1) Animal-a tiger...I love tigers sooooooo much. I could say cougar I guess as I'm definately old enough pmsl

2)Hours on the net-Mmmm not that many really, depends on if I'm doing a post then I can spend hours looking for the perfect picture to go with what I'm saying or making my own or other such crap. On average I would say 4 a day at most. Sometimes only a couple of hours.

There once was a man named Rob
Who occasionly dressed like a slob
Though when dressed in a tux
At my heart strings he plucks
But all I want is his knob
(er occasionally is spelt wrong for poetic license ok...for the spelling nerds like me) or...

Oh Robbie you're handsome and rich
And sometimes I make you my bitch
You're such a good sport
As it's all in my thoughts
You're the scratch to my permanent itch

oooo this is fun

Kellan you're big and so strong
Some pics make you look like you're hung
I'd give you a hug
If you'd lay on my rug
And let me get busy with my tongue

Jackson you're cute and you sing
I'd love if you gave me a ring
On the phone and came round
Together we'd pound
A rhythm of our own you dirty thing

P Fach you're a man with such taste
Never a chance would I waste
To get into your pants
For a good old glance
At the goods that put a smile on Esme's face

Ok I'm done now lol

4)What wouldn't I forgive-Abuse child, domestic, otherwise...nope no way. I know it will never happen with my Hubward but these women that stand by their men when they abuse their own children make me want to hurt them....bad

5)Who would I kill first-Oh man the poster I found said it all, I hate fucking Barney and the Teletubbies. I had to put up with the TT's for years. I love Spongebob and Stewie, they're amazing. I guess if I have to choose then Barney, that purple fucker just makes me want to take a chainsaw to him and make a purple rug outta him (on which I could tongue Kellan hehe)

Wow, great questions, really good fun Tiger hehe oooo I lurve you-see question 1's answer lol

Musing Bella said...

Oh, hai, happy Friday, everyone!

1- I think I'd be a cat, if I got to choose. But I think you meant according to my personality, and I'm going to go with hermit crab. :)

2- Uh-oh. Well, thank goodness my boss doesn't know about this website or my alter-ego, LMAO. Ever since I started hacking through the firewall at work (it has holes in it, I'm no hacking whiz), I spend more time online than I used to... I'm going with 6 hours. That's probably average.

3- There once was a schoolgirl named Bella
Who fell in love with a very fine fella
Quite loud were her sighs
As he parted her thighs
And rammed her soundly with his huge Ed-brella

...hmm... I'm in a rush or I'd try to make that better... :)

4- kill someone, diddle a kid, or cheat on me. He would never do any of those, but that's the line for me.

5- whoever spoke first. Then they would go in order of whoever spoke next.

LMAO - great questions, TLR! I'm of to work, but I'll come back to check out the other (undoubtedly hilarious) answers later. Mwah!

laphipps said...

First time on the FFF!! Here goes!

1) I think I'd like to be a bird of some sort b/c I'd always wanted to fly. Or maybe a housecat b/c I'm lazy and liked to be petted, on my own accord of course.

2) Thanks to having nothing else to do at work, but surf the net and answer phones, and the handy dandy iPhone, I'd say about....too many to be productive. Damn FanFiction!!

3) There once was a girl named "The Stew."
She'd sit and scowl like a shrew.
Til Rob came along, with his bong and his dong
And now all they do is screw.

4) Hmmmm, probably lie about cheating. I've been cheated on before, but I think it was the complete lack of honesty or respect that made it truly unforgivable. Also the numerous amount. That sucked too, but I

5)Well, Stewie rocks and he would help me kill the others. I have a fondness for Spongebob from my stoner days, so i would keep him around. Def. would have to kill the Teletubby first, then Barney. Perhaps Spongebob too since there's no Squidward to balance him out... LOL!!!


Mary said...

1) If you were an animal, what animal would you most likely be?
I'd be a cat, they pick and choose who they like, plus they can lick their own bits ;)

2) How many hours a day do you spend online...(not working) i.e. surfing, FF, Twitter, IM, Email, etc.
It depends tbh. Yesterday I was online practically all day reading fan fic. Today i've been on for 10 mins this morning and i've just signed on now. On average between 1-2 hours I suppose.
3) We have all heard dirty limericks like....There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could SUCK it, He said once with a grin, Whilst wiping his chin, If my ear were a cunt I would FUCK it.
I can't top sarah's *bows down* so here's my fave ever limerick
There once was a woman from ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
And opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling

4) Name the one thing your S/O could do that you could not forgive. (even if you know they wouldn't really do it)
I'd never forgive him if was unfaithful. It wouldn't work if I did, because I know i'd throw it in his face and both our lives would be a living hell

5) If you were stuck in an elevator with a Teletubby, Barney, Spongebob, and Stewie from the Family Guy, which one would you kill first?
Barney! I fucking hate that big purple fucker

Good Q's xxx

Twilight Mommy said...

Ok I'm a FFF virgin so go easy on me ;)

1. If I were an animal I'd be a puma. I'm to "young" to be a cougar! LOL Or maybe a cougar in training?!?!

2. If I were honest about this I'd say 3-4 hours - OMG did I really just say that. Geek alert! If I was telling my hubby I'd say 1-2 LMAO!

3. Here goes!

Here lies Bella the Twi-Bitch
Who had an unquenchable wet itch
Her and Ed would spoon
But one howl at the moon
Would make her the meat in the sandwich!

4. One thing hubby could do to ensure I didn't stay was if he was Team totally not kidding. Well maybe a bit. But seriously it would be cheating. Who wouldn't kick his ass to the proverbial curb. If he wanted to add insult to injury he have to sleep with my arch nemesis. A girl who tried to fuck with my head since grade 1!

5. When I first started to read this question, I thought it was going to be the start of Fuck, marry or leave. Thank gawd you didn't do that. No telling how that would end.
I have to kill Barney. Fucking hate that fat purple bastard. I wanna shove his tail down his throat and watch him choke.....woah easy there girl. I think I may have hit my own nerve. LOL The rest I can live with.

@laphipps lol at stoner days. SpongeBob was awesome for that purpose lol

Awesome questions TLR!

Anonymous said...

1. I would have to be a bunny rabbit because they loooovvvee to "reproduce". I could practice that all day long.

2. I DO not want to know how many hours I spend on-line. I do know I've read 3 entire fanfics since vowing to balance my time better a few weeks back.

3. I'm not the best at poetry, but here goes nuthin.

There once was a hottie named Kellan.
I'd buy anything he was sellin.
He posed for KC
For the world to see.
Now I wich he'd be ringin my bell in.

A little poetic license at the end.

4. The only unforgivable sin would be for him to abuse our children. I wish this country let us bring another gal into the marraige to handled all the domestic stuff that I suck at.

5. Definitely the teletubbie. My kids have tought me to tolerate Spongebob & Barney. Stewie at least is funny.

TwiWeasel said...

Just answering...bbl to read the rest.

1. If I were an animal huh? You realize that there's now way in hell I can give a serious answer to this so I will go with a dog, because that's the way (uh huh, uh huh) I like it. Or maybe a *gasp* weasel. (duh)

2. Let's see...I'm at work for 7 hours a day, so probably about 6 there (I wish I was kidding)...probably 15 minutes before I go into work, another 1/2 hour while home on my luch break, and if I can I get on for around 30 minutes in the probably at least 7 hours a day. Ok...probably not quite that much. Except on weekends...I'm barely on then. Yeesh! *hangs head* I can't believe I haven't been fired yet.

3. My limerick is for you, Lisa!!

There is a Hawt Ed we call Fifty,
Lisa thinks he's just Nifty.
If she'd met him before,
Her cherry was no more,
She'd have given him that gifty!!

Ok, Fifty's not technically a Twilight Character. Hang on...

There was a cool dude called Ed,
The girls all want to give head.
He sparkles you know,
But they still want to blow,
The rock hard cock of the Undead!

Hmmm...not some of my best work, but it'll do.

4. I have no fear whatsoever of this happening, but I think it would be unforgivable if Mr. TW were to hit mean in a way to cause serious pain, not pleasure/pain...not that we do'll just shut up now.

5. If you were stuck in an elevator with a Teletubby, Barney, Spongebob, and Stewie from the Family Guy, which one would you kill first? Well, hopefully, Mr. TW is with me, and he could just gas the whole lot at once with one good fart. If that option wasn't available, I suppose I'd rip SpongeBob's arms off, and start prodding Barny with the sharp ends, in the hopes that he'll flounder around within the confined space and squash them all to death.

TwiWeasel out...for now.

Jelena @ Twiholic said...

Okay, having read everyone's answers, I think I need to clarify on the why I spent so many hours online. I'm at work for 8 hours, and I spend 7 hours for sure online, the rest is at home. Except on weekends, as the Wease says. Then, I'm barely online.
See? I'm not THAT bad, lol.

Also, yeah, molesting children and being hit to hurt are definitely unforgivable. Yep.
Just thought I'd throw that in as well.

@Nibbs - I was debating between a tiger and an eagle. Tiger is also my fave animal. But eagle can fly. :D

TigerlilyRose said...

O.M.G. Those Limericks are ficking AWESOME!!! it's ok Jelena, I think Nibs covered the Limericks well enough for you!

1. If I could chose I would be a house cat...Eat, Sleep, Play, Lick, Eat again, Sleep more...PLUS, Cats have a don't fuck with me attitude which I love...And I have a personality like a cat too.

2. One-Two in the morning, 1One-Two in the afternoon, and 3 at night...7-ish, but on less on the weekend, and some days I just turn it off and try to avoid it and get some shit done...LOL

3. I knew a guy named Jake
Whose dick was as long as a snake.
He said with a grin
While sticking in in
How much do you think you can take.


There once was a man named Ed
Who slammed me down on the bed
His skin, it did sparkle
and on his dick I did gargle
I Love you Lily is all that he said!

4. Anything remotely bad to my children would definitely do it, of course...that being said, I would have his nuts on a platter it he cheated on me AND lied about it! (And yes Jells, another wife would do it too...gag!)

5. I like spongebob actually, though I don't think I would want to be in an elevator with him. In this case though I would have to go with Barney--I had to watch TT with my oldest, she loved it and I can't stand them, but at least they don't talk all that much!)

GREAT ANSWERS SO FAR EVERYONE! Thanks for picking me StarlitViolet! You rock!

TigerlilyRose said...

GOOD LORD that hoodie picture is so fucking HAWT! I like the one down even better!

LMAO W.V. hoosse....too perfect

TwiWeasel said...

@ TLR - you would be a THERE'S a shocker. (not) *cheeky grin*

@ Jelena - I'm sure some of my time is spent doing work stuff...And real life stuff that isn't work, and may or may not have something to do with Twilight. *wink*

Laters, Girls!!

Banshee713 said...

Noooooooo!!!! Blogger ate my comment! Fuck.

1. According to a facebook quiz someone sent me, I'm a tiger. But even though I'm allergic to horses (sigh...fml) I've had an affinity for them since I was very young, so I'm gonna go with a horse. Ooohhh, I wanna be that Friesian Rob is leading in those WFE pics. I love Friesians. And I love Rob. Yum.

2. At least two hours, up to about six. It all depends on how busy I am with other less important stuff :)

3. A limerick you bitch? Really?! Dammit, I suck at this....

There was a small town called Forks
Where the boys were all absolute dorks
Till a bunch of hot vamps
Did come set up camp
And each lucky woman did pork.

4. I don't have a husband/SO/whatever, but if I did and he hit me or I found kiddie porn on his computer, I would cut his balls off and feed them to him. And THEN dump his ass.

5. I love Stewie and Spongebob! I could never kill them. Barney, much as I hate the teletubbies, I hate Barney's goody-goody, lame song-singing purple ass more. *loads shotgun* I love you, you love me, ask yourself if you feel luck-y....Well, do ya, punk?

Nice job, TLR, but fuck I had a hard time with that limerick.

TigerlilyRose said...

@Banshee I loved your limerick! and your answer to #5 is priceless!!!

Anonymous said...

Evening m'ladies.

1) I guess a cat, because I like their laid back lifestyle.
2) shit. Probably 4 hours.
3) there once was a master named Edward
Who kept his lady in the cupboard
And when he got there,
The cupboard was bare,
And so was his lady's muffin.

4)I guess if he drank my diet coke. Or ate my M&M's. Or hit me.
5) I'd have to kill stewie. I don't like his name ;-)

smartEpantz said...

Here goes nuthin'...or everything, depending on how you look at it!

1) If you were an animal, what animal would you most likely be?
I’d be a Liger…it’s pretty much my favorite animal, or an ass panda.

2) How many hours a day do you spend online...(not working) i.e. surfing, FF, Twitter, IM, Email, etc.
These days…geez…I don’t know probably only a few hours. Had you asked me that about a month ago it would have been my full time job. I’ve since gone to part time but they’ve let me keep my benefits.

3) We have all heard dirty limericks like....There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could SUCK it, He said once with a grin, Whilst wiping his chin, If my ear were a cunt I would FUCK it.

Edward is such a hot fucker.
I want to rape that jumbucker.
I will lay down on the grass
And let him tickle my ass
Then I’ll ask him if we can add another wife to the mix
That last line didn’t rhyme? Well…shiiite. My bad.

4) Name the one thing your S/O could do that you could not forgive. (even if you know they wouldn't really do it)

Any sexual molestation of children…especially our children.
Oh, the second wife and plural marriage...I feel compelled to comment. Not looking for a fight obviously, but since no one has come right out and asked…here it is. It's not for everyone obviously…but for those who are open to it, it’s a beautiful thing. I get to have free nights, I have a friend to watch my children, I have someone who can reach items on tall shelves and carry heavy boxes…I have someone to help with housework, and laundry, and cooking dinner. I have someone to get the hubtard out of my face during those times he's getting on my last fucking nerve.
I have someone to go shopping with who actually has a sense of fashion. I have someone to eat ice cream and watch movies with and laugh our asses off together. I have another partner who has my back and loves me for who I am. I have someone to talk to about anything and everything…again, not for everyone. But it’s totally for me and it KICKS ASS!!! So there's that for what it's worth, and it's worth alot to me. :)

5) If you were stuck in an elevator with a Teletubby, Barney, Spongebob, and Stewie from the Family Guy, which one would you kill first?

I don’t know. I’ve seen the episode where Stewie and Brian get locked in a bank vault…I DO NOT want to eat his poop and lick his ass clean…otherwise I’m down with exterminating Barney.


Twi-Hearted said...

I think this is my first official post on here :)

1. This is a hard one for me. I was trying to think of an animal who has a pretty easy life. I wouldn't want to be a common housepet because I'd probably get stuck with an asshat owner who abuses me. And every wild animal seems to have some sort of enemy that will eat it. Hhhmmm, I like the water, so I am going to say a sand dollar because I don't think anything eats them.

2. I probably spend at least 4-6 hours everyday, through out the day, on FB, checking all of my Twi-sites, reading FF, and checking email.

3. I typically suck at this kind of thing, but here goes:

There once was an actor named Rob
Who I daydreamed about giving a blowjob
He hasn't got a clue
Just what his fans are willing to do
But I'll gladly slob his knob

4. I initially thought that Mr. Hearted being unfaithful to me would be unforgiveable, but after reading the other posts I decided that, although I would divorce him still, I could forgive him for cheating. I could NOT forgive him if he ever physically hurt our child(ren), either by beating them or molesting them. I'm so glad I really don't have to worry about this with my hubby!

5. I can't stand Barney, but I'd have to agree with MusingBella, the first one to talk would be the first to die.

This was fun!!!

StarlitViolets said...

So sorry I'm late! My head was not happy with me today. Good news though - it's 2:30am here and I can't sleep, so I'm not going to miss it completely. :)

GREAT questions, TLR!!! And Nibs - you're forgiven for the lion and lamb thing. Hoodie Rob can make up for an amazing amount of wrong-doing. LOL!

Answering first, as usual...

1. Animal Me.

I'd definitely be either a butterfly or a dolphin. Psst - dolphins have sex for fun!

2. Hours Online.

REALLY?! Come ON, TigerlilyRose! Now I'm just going to sound pathetic. LMAO!!! This is where I wish I was sneakier and look up to other people's answers - but I'm NOT! So I guess that leaves the truth - hmm... This calculation could take a while. :)

I'd have to say I spend an average of 3-4 hours a day puttering around the internet. There! Now you all know my shame. LMAO!

3. Dirty Twi-limericks.

Emmett's huge sparkling cock,
So strong it could bust granite rock,
It hangs quite low,
Not quite to his toes,
And inspires such scandalous talk.


Bella's a whiny little bitch,
She's prone to blinking and twitch,
She leads werewolves on,
Stringing them along,
And she's got Edward SO whipped!


Fanfic pwns many hos,
Squirming while reading its prose,
Panties combust,
Slaking their lust,
More effectively than porn-ohs.

4. Unforgivable Mr.

I'd say killing me would be pretty hard to recover from emotionally, as well as physically. That could definitely put a damper on our relationship.

5. Elevator of DOOM!

UGH! Hands down - Barney gets it first!!! And I fucking LOVE Stewie! Teletubbies never bugged me - go figure! :)

SO much fun this week! Enjoy your weekend, my lovelies!

twilightcupcake said...

Cute questions TLR - straight to answers, not reading anyone else's replies so as not to muddle my thoughts
1) If I were an animal I'd be Rob's dog! He'd spend the whole day petting me and giving me tummy rubs and talking in a cutesy voice all the time.
2) I guess this depends upon the day. My non work days if you count the time that I'm supposedly watching TV with my family but actually on my laptop 4-7 hrs/day. Work days 2-4 hrs/day.
Yikes that looks really bad!! No wonder my husb and family complain :(
3) There once was a vamp god named Edward
Whose cock was so big it's absurd
While Bella looked on
He played with his dong
To prove once and for all we're all pervs.
4) This one has so many levels. Not including all the nasty crimes (rape, incest, murder not in self defense, etc.) I would say if he not only cheated but ran off with his hot new wife and left me alone with both kids. He knows that I don't cook and he is obviously the better parent so that would be unfair to the kids to leave them with the take-out mom.
5) I'd kill Stewie first because I know he's planning to kill me already so I'd have to make it fast in order to escape the nasty-Lois like death.

Jelena @ Twiholic said...

@SV - Oh wow, dolphin! I'd totally forgotten about them. Beautiful animals. :D

Jelena @ Twiholic said...

@E - I hope you don't think I was provoking you. I really never thought you would read it.
With that being said, I want you to know that my answer to TRL's question was genuine. That really is the one thing (along with rape, child molestation and violence) that I really know I wouldn't be capable of forgiving.
I am happy, though, that you are happy, and have found what was missing from you life.

I wish you all the best.

smartEpantz said...

@Jelena ~ It's ok! I didn't think you were provoking me in any way, and I know that the question asked was genuine, in fact it was a very serious question. I'm glad you answered honestly, and I don't think you were intently jabbing at me. I just felt compelled to present a bit of myself, and my experience. I've only popped over here (to Edbrella) a time or two in the past it was a total happy accident that I saw your comment in the first place. Weird. Heh!
Thank you for your well wishes and know that I feel the same about you and your family. All good things!

wv: fucking shit.

TigerlilyRose said...

And the winner is.......................TwiWeasel!

This will be her first round of questions! I know she has had them ready for a while, so they oughta be good!!!

Thanks all, for being good sports about the Limericks, I fucking loved them all! What a bunch of talented ho's we are!