Stan and Nibbles go for a test drive
Who I really wanted as my driving instructor (sorry I thought that was the gear stick Mr Pattinson)
Anyhow it was decided that the time for my lesson would be saturday afternoon after I'd finished doing all the domesticated Real Life shit I have to deal with on a weekend. Yanno like (ugh) food shopping (blah). Standing at the checkout; ok near the checkout cos the place was rammed I felt the trolley rage come over me. I texted Stan to say I had the sudden urge to kill or maim several people nearby and could she please distract me. As we had been discussing earlier in the week the possibility of taking the Tay Tay to soft play to celebrate growing up the image she gave me of lil T on the swings made me feel much better.
Jacob and mini E show they can share
Haha I bet you thought she was gonna say sexy shit to me to make me think of Rob and I'd post a fuck hawt picture of him all semi nekkid and touching himself didn't you? You did...oh...ok, one semi nekkid Rob coming up...
Fuck hawtedness by the shed load I'm sure you'll agree
Where was I, oh yeah, so the lesson began. I got in and Stan told me to familiarise myself with the controls.... "OOOOOOOOOOOO what does this button do Stan?" (Stan slaps my hand) "don't press that one Nibbles" I pouted.... "OOOOoooo Stan can I touch that?" " No Nibbles, you may not, that deletes fucking everything" (we started again, ahem) "Stan am I annoying you?"...." No Nibbles" said through clenched teeth I'll have you know "you are not annoying me but will you please, stop fiddling with the switches and knobs (I sniggered at this point) and CONCENTRATE" ( I cried in the back seat at that point)
Stan said that there'd be a blue bar (I could've used a drink about then) and something about a pink outline around pictures so I could move them and shit. But I have no pink outline, there is no blue bar....then I remembered in Nibbles world nothing ever fucking works properly. I've probably got outdated shit or updated shit or different shit to every other fucker who's ever posted or ever will post stuff on a blog type shit. This is cos I'm speshul!
She kept shouting at me clutch, clutch, Left hand down, upload, centre it, it got messy. Tears were shed, texts sent back and forth across the ethernet. Would I have to change fonts or colours. Do I have to post on a certain time or date. Did I have to get approval of what I wrote. I'm such a nube I know...
Nibbles you're such a fuckin nube (um thanks Rob)
So there you have it, my first post.....Ok hands up all of you who thought I was just gonna jump up and down and shout penis, penis, penis??! (counts 12345, 6 at the back) pretty much all you's ho's then lol. I was bloody well tempted just to throw as many Rob pics on the screen and go there, go drool, my fucking job is done.....however I decided to save the penis jumping till next time. I have an idea for a post hehe but I'm gonna have to work at that one and this is just a fucking practice ok cos I really have no fucking clue what I'm doing and all you's blogging ladies are like clever and know what buttons to press and shit. (I'm still looking for the auto-pilot or voice control that does it all for me)
So till next time ladies I bid you adieu...this is Nibbles over and out.....whispers (Stan, Stan, was that ok, do I turn the mic off now, can I take my safety harness off. Stan, you left the child locks on...Stan I can't get out....Stan? um Stan?....Mary?....Twi-weasel.....
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23 comments:
HOLY HELL!!!!! This was so entertaining...I loved every word. The image of you being taught the controls was hilarious...(just sprinkle Rob in there once in a while and every post will be GOLDEN---that's my advice---works every time).
CONGRATS NIBBLES!!!!
Woohoo Nibbles! With all that talk about penis jumping, I thought you were teasing me with Little Ashes.
Lol, thank you (blushes) I've been sat here muttering to myself, is this funny, do I find it funny, ok I find it funny, but I am a bit random lol. Rob was in the backseat (men are always backseat drivers lol) he kept telling Stan what to do but she told him off so he got back in the backseat with me and we cried together pmsl
Yay! What a fab first post! I read it at about 100 miles an hour as thats how I imagine you saying it, lol!
I love that pic of Rob by the car, mmm....
Are Stan, Mary & Twi-Weasel going to get a look in now that you have had a taste?
Hell yes they will, I have a great idea for another one but I have to hunt down pictures and stuff. Its more tiring than I thought this blogging lark (lmao)I kept bugging Stan going do I have to do this or do that, what if this happens, why won't it do this, wht can't i get this to work. I think she was about to shout at me again hehe
@Congrats, Nibbles!!! Loved the Laurel and Hardy car reference. Too fun(ny)!
@Becky - I remember when I first "met" Nibbles, I think she was going by Nebilet back then, and I asked her if she talked that fast in RL. LOL!
@Stan - Any road rage? LOL! (P.S.: How are you feeling?!!)
Woooo! Congrats on popping the old blogging cherry Nibbles! I looked and thought '5 comments already? Jesus!' Then I thought 'Ha, I bet at least 3 of them are Nibbles herself'. Two were so not a bad bet PMSL!
Fab post lovey, looking forward to the rest of the drive. Mind if I cover my eyes now? Don't take it personally, I can be a nervous passenger ;o)
MWAH! xx
Sorry Lisa, our posts must have crossed! Finally got rid of the horrible pain that made me feel ill by yesterday morning. Replaced by period cramps but at least that feels right for what's going on! It's a relief not to be worried.
I remember you asking Nibbles if that's how she talks on Twitarded (she does btw, I've spoken to her on the phone ;o)). I always read her posts like that. Feel drained when I get to the end of them, love her for it though! xx
@Stan, yes, drained, me too lol! I need to remember to breathe whilst reading.
Glad things are improving for you. x
@Stan - I'm so glad!
Wooooooohoooooooooo fab post Nibbles :)
Thank your lucky stars that Stanley showed you the ropes today. I've got PMS brewing and I've had the day from hell!!
My washing machine has died and it's a £95 call out fee!! Booked it to be done and the fucking bastards can't come until Friday arrgghhhhh. There's 5 of us and we make a hell of a lot of laundry between us.
Then we got a puncture on my car grrrrrrrrr
Then I realised the phone has to be paid tomorrow, and the water bill on Friday and I have none of it in the bank :(
It's Aaliyah's birthday on Wednesday and I really could do without it all, plus she keeps changing her mind about what cake she wants! Oh she's also coming down with something so it looks like i'll have to take her to the docs in the morning.
Sorry for ranting :(
Fab pic of Rob btw, i even managed a grin at that xxx
Oh, and my reader isn't working properly and has had to be sent off to Sony, so fuck knows when i'll be getting that back :(
I'll fuck off now, i'm doing my own head in x
Hahahaha, bloody fantabulous post! Congrats, Nibbles. I really can't say which part was my fave, but the like Lisa, I loved the Laurel and Hardy photo... and, of course, the end where you whimper for all of them. So fucking brilliant, I could see it all in my head.
So, you're gonna be a regular now, eh? I don't know whether to be scared or ecstatic. Just kidding, just kidding... maybe. ;D
OMG, Mary, that sounds like a horrible day.
@Stan - good to hear that things are improving.
As soon as I saw that Nibbles had posted, I came right here to read. I almost missed the pictures because I was laughing so hard and trying to scroll to the next paragraph. Too funny. Can't wait to see what's next for Nibbles on the blog.
NIBBLES!!!!! I love you! I’m so happy that you found a home, to blog. *whispers* (does this mean, you’ll sneak in some Eric?)
Ooh, no need to be sneaky. Can't speak for TwiWeasel, but me & Mary love a bit of Eric the Viking :o).
@ Mary, sorry it's been a shitty day hun xx
Sorry, can't type much, just sneaking on whenever Mr Stan stops working on here for a fag break. That's a Brit fag break btw, not like you have over there ;o)
@Mary, holy washing machine batman lol sorry couldn't resist that one. I have days like that so I empathise-holds hands and sways with you -Empathise oh lord, empathise.
Also empathise about the bills. I hate money, it truely is the root of all evil. My ex left me with thousands of debt all in my name cos he had crap credit rating. I've paid out over 10k and still have another 9 and a bit to pay off...what can I say, we were together 12 yrs and I never thought he would do it to me but there ya go.
@HG-grinz I have a plan to include Eric in my next post as well as our usual suspects, I may have a favour to ask of you too, I will message you on FB about it hehehehe.
@Dangrdafne- I sooooooo love scooby doo yanno lol. Thank you xx
@Becky and Lisa I'm quick with my mouth-that's why Rob loves me bwahahaha
@Mary (again) Do you want me to read to you down the phone, I can finish the book in 5 minutes it won't cost much lol and I'll do all the voices!
@Jelly Babes-Lol@scared....I like to keep you on your toes!!
Thanks everyone xx back to the dreaded ironing now MWAH xxxx
Nibbles- congrats on your first post. You lucky ho. First having someone to show you the ropes and second getting invited to join one of the best blogs going. I'm still learning the ropes by myself. Looks like you already know the most important things. The pics are great & you were funny.
@Nibbles, I was going to say congrats and fab post and all that, but everyone else already said it...LOL...and honestly I barely got past the half nekkid Rob with his hand...ooohhh...ok...gotta go now...*whimper*
Thank you Twi-mom and TLR, THAT pic was good wasn't it (drool)
Yay Nibbles.
Congrats Nibbles (blowing kisses) I worship at the alter of Nibbles after reading "the Great Penis Debate" you and the Psycic Dicktective are gifted! Oh fuck, that pic of Rob...they're arn't words, just drool.
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