Really Mrs. P, is this what you want for yourself?

So, Mrs. P, I hear you're a little upset over Rob & Kristen being pictured in the UK?  Have you seen the pics?  And you're still upset?  Really, you shouldn't be.  Let me explain why with pictures.

Yep, that's all Kristen with her ex, Michael Whatsisface.  Looks quite normal doesn't she?  I mean, we know she's never been all into hair and clothes and boots and stuff like some girls, but still, she looks ok.

Now compare:

Oh dear.  She looks a bit like that young girl just rousled her from where she was dozing on a sheet of cardboard in that doorway behind her.  I hope her manky dog didn't wander off while she was having this pic taken.

And who was she there with?

Aww, you've gotta love tramp couples don't you?  Oh, btw, I mean Rob & Kristen, not the little girl, she's actually putting them to shame because she looks very nice.  I bet he'd already made £3 in spare change with his guitar.

So, what pics can we expect in the future?  I think it could be a bit like this:

Aah, there's the dog, it must not have wandered far.

So, you see Mrs. P?  This isn't the life I'd have chosen for myself so I'm voting no for you.  Really, try and get over the upset because this isn't what I call a loss.  And don't try telling me that you wouldn't change for Rob, you'd be looking Tramptastic before you knew it, he has special powers you know, if he can make a 19yr old girl look like that, what hope is there for the rest of us?!

Here's a reminder of how we love him best...