Tuesday, 24 November 2009

"She's alive"

Evening all :)

Ooh I feel so left out *sniff* I've missed out on all the lovely post coital film stuff. I've been far too ill to revel in the gloriousness that is New Moon.

I saw that Stan posted the pic of herself  as Jacob, how I managed to stop myself from pissing all over the sofa I don't know!! Bless her, she is special ;) I loved, loved, loved the film. I know there's a few that still haven't seen it so I won't spoil anything by saying too much. And i'm still not functioning fully yet anyway.

I do believe however, that the reason I was hit with the dreaded Swine Flu is all down to me perving over Jacob! And I did perve. There was one scene, the one in the rain where all I looked at was his left nipple *hangs head* I know, it's not right, it's sooooooo bloody wrong that I was slapped with Swine Flu as judgement on me for being a raging Cougar. Stan appears to be immune as she deems him fair play. Technically she's sort of right. However I have a son the same age as him so noooooo noooooo nooooooo!! Mrs Lautner, I apologise for lusting after your son (s right nipple) I have since suffered greatly you will be glad to hear. I've lost count of the times I pissed myself from coughing too hard (3 kids = no pelvic floor) I look like shit and I'm still aching in places that shouldn't ache. My ribs are sooo tender it's agony if I sneeze or cough. Oh who am I kidding, I'm just glad to know I still have ribs under these layers of fat!!!

You have been warned. Perve at your own risk ;)
Mary xxx

14 comments:

Z Any Mouse said...

Mary, I'm so glad you are on the mend. Once you start feeling well enough to communicate, it lifts pretty quickly. The piggies should be gone in two more days, oink. I too have a son of werewolf age (17), but when I saw Taycob standing in the rain I leaned over to my friend and whispered "I'm sure glad my kid doesn't look like that!". So I am able to keep them as seperate entities, I hope.

TwiWeasel said...

Mary's Back! Yay! *happy dance* Glad you're feeling better!! Now that you're back among the living, I'll admit to you that while I was ogling Jacob, I leaned over and whispered to TigerlilyRose "I'm going to hell."

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I refuse to believe you were stricken down for perving over Jacob...you must have done something else bad...did you perve over Bella? That would do it...
Feel better..that "no pelvic floor" is a bitch...I'm a victim of three kids myself. Feel better!!!!!

Word verification----monsest---having sex with your brother, when he's a monster

Stan said...

WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!! I missed you Mary, still PMSL @ swine flu as judgement!

@ Mrs P - LOL at Monsest too!

TigerlilyRose said...

*laugh* I think I am going to piss myself...if perving over Jacob is wrong then I will see you all in hell, and I will bring the Margaritas! I like to believe men with bodies like that were intended by GOD to be ogled! In which case, we are all doing GODs work and will be reveled in Heaven as Saintly and Pure...(don't laugh too hard, TwiWeasel...I can be saintly and pure...OK I might go to hell for Lying...*grin*)

Therefore Mary, you are absolved of all crimes against nature and Mrs Lautner and can go on to ogle to your hearts content. Enjoy!

Stan said...

@TigerlilyRose, I like your style of thinking lady, amen to that!

Mary said...

@Z Any Mouse thank god it's almost over, I couldn't cope with much more. My son definately doesn't look like Jacob either lol

@TwiWeasel thanks hun :) As I was perving I was telling myself, you're so wrong!! My eyes couldn't help it though *shrugs*

@Mrs P@Twibite I can honestly say I didn't perve at Bella once. Glad to hear of your lack of pelvic floor too, phew ;)

@Stan Hello my little freaky friend xxx

@Tigerlilyrose thank you for absolving me woooohooooooooooo.
see you in hell anyway, i'll bring the doritos
xxx

Stan said...

@Stan Little freaky friend??! WTF? LOL!

Mary said...

ermmmm what else would you suggest I refer to you as??? you emerged from the loo dressed in full Taycob gear,wearing a mask and holding a dreamcatcher!!

Mary said...

and as we speak you're now on webcam in the mask and muscles!!

TwiWeasel said...

@ Mrs. P - I'm too distracted by KStew's Ha-uge front teeth to be perving over her...just sayin.

@ Tigerlily - *stiffles giggles* if you are saintly and pure then I am an archangel! Bwahahahaha!!

Margaritas, check. Doritos, check. I'll bring the queso dip. Stan, you bring the Rob Porn.Someone bring a supply of sparkly vampsicles and we can party till our pelvic floors come back! *snort*

Stan said...

@ Mary, ok, point taken *shrugs*

@ TwiWeasel, not sure about the sound of that party - do we get a vampsicle each? Not really into the communal thing.

TwiWeasel said...

@ Stan - *rolls eyes* I said a supply...I ain't sharing a sparkle peen...

TigerlilyRose said...

LMAO at all of you...see you in hell. I am also bringing a misting fan, I hear it might be hot there and we have WAY too many hormones for that, especially with margaritas, Rob Porn and vampsicles!