Sunday, 20 September 2009

Hey There Renesmee

Hey there Renesmee
What's it like to be a hybrid?
Who'd have thought Edward and Bella
Would manage to conceive a kid?
No, not I
Stephenie Meyer tell me why?
Were you just high?

Hey there Renesmee
You were lucky with the gene pool
Yes, you're charming and you're graceful
Not a klutzy whiny fool
A stroke of luck
Still we all shouted "What the fuck?
This baby sucks"

Oh, what a stupid name
Oh, what a stupid name
Oh, what a stupid name
Oh, what a stupid name
What a stupid name

Hey there Renesmee
You'll be grown in seven years
And it will all be rather awkward
When you spend time with your peers
You'll bring them home
They'll want to jump your old man's bones
And make him moan

Hey there Renesmee
Yes your mum will be your sister
And your dad will be your brother
Let's hope no-one sees him kiss her
Incest's bad
Grandparents playing mum and dad
You'll end up mad

Oh, what a stupid name
Oh, what a stupid name
Oh, what a stupid name
Oh, what a stupid name
What a stupid name

A name like yours is pretty dumb
And add about your dad and mum
Then think what else can go into the mix?
How about a wolf-cum-man
We'll make him your biggest fan
He'll spend his time with you, not legal chicks
Renesmee I can promise you
That by the time that Meyer's through
Twi-world will never ever be the same
It's such a shame

Hey there Renesmee
I hope I've not seemed too bitter
But the storyline about you
Well, it really was a shitter
It was wrong
I felt compelled to pen this song
I hope it hasn't been too long
Hey there Renesmee it's all true
This song's for you

Oh, what a stupid name
Oh, what a stupid name
Oh, what a stupid name
Oh, what a stupid name
What a stupid name

4 comments:

omitycassie1 said...

HOLY FUCK IM LOSING MY SHIT HERE THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER READ

[Cass from Twitarded]

Stan said...

Thanks Cass :o)

TwiWeasel said...

I also have to say HOLY FUCK STAN!! You have quite a knack for this shit!!

Stan said...

Why thank you, it's good to know that I have a useful talent!!