Friday Fun Five (+1)!!

Hello my lovely ho's!  Yes, I'm back from the land of 'kicked up the bum by RL'!  It's been horrible away from you all, I've not even had chance to read all of the bloggy goodness out there for the past week.  Well, at last Mr Stan has some work so is out of the house for the day, the kids are all well again, the visitors have left and the decorating can go fuck itself :o).

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my first attempt at a one-shot Unravel Me.  Unfortunately I didn't get through to the final 20 stories in the Black Balloon Contest that go to the public vote today.  Good luck to everyone who did though.  There were 72 entries in total, so I say that anyone that even got through to the last 20 did incredibly well. 

As far as my one-shot is concerned, well, that's just the beginning.  I'd already started work on a new Edward & Bella fic and decided to write Unravel Me as Edward's back story to get more of a feel for where he's coming from.  I can't wait to start posting my new one online, but Natural Satellites & Shooting Stars is still ongoing and hasn't been updated in a while so I need to do some work on that first.  Oh, and Jingle Balls seems to have had a rise in popularity, for some mysterious reason it's been favourited by six new people this month :oS.  It still makes me laugh how popular it's been when I rattled it out so quickly and posted it without a beta or anything.

Anyway, enough about me, it's Friday which means it's the Friday Fun Five!  This week's questions are from Musing Bella, so over to her!

OME!! I am beyond flattered that StarlitViolets chose me to win last Friday's Fun Five - who knew I just had to write her a mini-semi-porno? Anyway, I hope I don't repeat any previous questions, because I recently came out as Team Robsten, and I feel I might be walking a fine line with some of you as a result. Plus, smartEpantz and I have been fighting about cheesecake and playlists, so it's been very stressful. ;P


I hope these are okay questions, and I look forward to reading your answers!! (Stan, I'm sending you a bonus question in case one is a repeat - I looked back at the last several FFF, but just in case... or if you think one of my other questions/prompts is supremely lame. You decide!)

1) This week I found a photo of a half-sleeve tattoo of what I think is supposed to be Rob as Edward holding an apple in the forest, and underneath are the words "You are my life now." Would you ever get a Twilight-related tatt, and, if so, what would you get? If not, why not?

2) What are your favorite and least favorite book-to-movie adaptations, and why?

3) What do you like most about where you currently live? (This can be as specific as your home or neighborhood, or as broad as the city/state/province - you decide!)

4) Tell us your best/funniest joke.

Hahaha!  You ho's kill me!

5) How badly do you want Stephenie to finish Midnight Sun? Get creative with those metaphors and similes, ladies (and gents?) - example: "I want it like a man stranded in the desert wants water." Hit me with your best simile!

BONUS (in case of duplications or general lameness) Stan: Ah, what the hell, I'm leaving it in anyway, just for the hell of it!: Imagine you’re in charge of picking the song for the very end of BD (when Bella lifts her shield and Edward can read her thoughts) – what song would you choose to play through that moment and sweep us into credits for the end of the saga?

Yeah, so that's my FFF (or FFF+1...). *shrug* Happy Friday, fellow twatwaffles!

Thanks Musing Bella, fab questions :o).  Ok, answers in the comments as always and the winner that Musing Bella chooses will set next week's questions.

CFF-FanFic Thursday.Let's Break the Dawn together

Hey Ho's I am recovered from Remember Me. I'm not saying anything and even when I do my post with pictures of us at it I won't give away anything so no worries there but WOW! Loved it, cried like a bitch being butt fucked by a donkey. It was THAT good, well we enjoyed it lol.

Yah...I know...ouch indeed!

Any hoo its Thursday again so its fanfic day and we're gonna see how bad we can Break Dawn down pmsl.

Thought this looked kinda good...thanks to mimeto92

So here is the passage, well excerpt I've chosen, it can go anywhere really

"For several years, my biggest personality trait was going to be thirsty. It would take some time before I could be me again. And even when I was in control of myself, I would never feel exactly the way I felt now. Human… and passionately in love. I wanted the complete experience before I traded in my warm, breakable, pheromone-riddled body for something beautiful, strong… and unknown. I wanted a real honeymoon with Edward. And, despite the danger he feared this would put me in, he’d agreed to try."

Hmmm so where are we going with this today...follow the feather strewn road hehe

Bleurgh...still shoulda been me lol

Remember Me Wednesday

Oh yeah! Hell to the fucking Yeah baby...it is on! It is happening...I'm going to see Remember Me tonight, Mini E is coming too and Mrs P's avi and later I'm going to Frankie & Bennys to discuss, dissect and wipe the wetness from my thigh...er I mean eyes cos we all know its sad. No spoilers I promise...but it is.

What am I remembering again...oh yeah me!

I'm heading out there with my Twi posse, they loyally attended New Moon with me and I converted 2 of the lesser Rob fans into huh-uge Rob fans.

I also have something to confess....before Remember Me came out I applied for the job of official Rob stalker during filming and I got it squee! Here I am at work...

Nooo, I said I'd grab him and you flash the big guy, don't just stand there going "Do you like my pink t shirt Robert?"

I was so good at my job that Rob forgot I was THE official stalker and got quite upset, he was heard to be muttering something about his happy place here. I told him I'd sort out his happy place for him...I don't think he heard me though...sigh

Damn that Nibbles just gets everywhere doesn't she, I never saw her hiding in my bathroom while I took a shower. Little minx she is....

We had a little falling out about the shower pictures as I said I needed to share them with my ho's and he got quite sad about it. He said once the truth was out about his massive penis and his propensity for marathon sex sessions with in between wanking in the shower sessions all the gossip would be over. I'm sorry to say he threatened me with court action...yep, yep, he said he was gonna make me pay...I think he meant court...maybe he meant like make me pay in the bedroom...hey Rob, wait...hey did you mean like court or bedroom...oh court....meh!

Nibbles! Come back, I'll drop the charges...

Robbie had a change of heart...but alas filming had finished and my job was at an end. I did ask if he would mind meeting a friend of mine but it didn't turn out how we thought...

Sorry Mrs P, you scare the fucking shit outta him for some reason pmsl

Now me, I give him the warm fuzzys, honest I do, don't I Robbie?? Robbie? Oh Robert...where are you? Hello...heeeellloooooo?!

Oh Robert...really...no need

Just wondering what my gal pals that are going tonight will make of this?! They don't actually know that I write on a blog yet lol, I will tell them tomorrow, in fact I will write the blog page down so they can go find it, hehe, I wonder if they can tell who I am if I don't mention who I am-er confused myself there. I know probably 3 of them won't bat an eyelid and maybe a couple of them will join the edbrella troops haha...er...do I want them giving my secrets away of what I used to get up to with them at work. Ahhhh you already know most of my secrets pmsl.

So there you have it, I'll let you know what I think on the soggy tissue scale of how good it was soon with pictures of us all at the theatre and restaurant afterwards!

Laters babies xx

7 Deadly Sins-Envious Much?

I look soooo good in green and as a brunette lmao plus I really do like snakes in RL

Envy! You envious of anybody or anything? Can you envy a thing? I guess you can be envious of someone owning a thing but that reverts back to a person again. We can be envious of situations....but that's envy of a person being in a situation from this I summise that basically we just envy others either because of what they have, what they can do and sometimes even what they don't have (think stress)

Naughty naughty Roberto, 2 of them ain't worth 1 of me hunny. I'd blow your....fucking socks off.

I am envious of them, I wanna hug and hold him even if it is just for a picture. Once he gotta look at the Nibble Gazungas though, he'd wanna bury his head bwahahaha-Oh fantasy I love theee

So what else am I envious of...Not a lot really I have a nice house, 2 gorgeous, adorable if somewhat irritating at times children, a loving hubtard and a crazy dog. I'm relatively healthy and financially, well it could be better but I guess I'm getting there....pmsl quicker would be nice but what the hey. All in all I'm doing pretty good.

C'mon Nibbles there must be something....oh ok, I'm envious of youth, time, age, whatever. I've had a bit of a fucked up life until well a few year ago but on the whole I've had a fucking good time so what's my problem????

I WANT TO DO IT ALL AGAIN!!!!

I don't like getting older, I have to behave myself somewhat and there are times I just want to go pull the bottom can out of the stack in the supermarket and watch them roll everywhere and run away lol. I want to go get puke makingly drunk and dance on the tables and NOT take 2 fucking days to get over it....sigh, I want my boobs and my ass back where they were before breast feeding and chocolate took its toll so I guess yes I'm envious of youth. Pfffft!

I bet he didn't take 2 days to get over this lol

I'd like to have 2 days with this though please lmao

I looked good in mens underwear once too, oh what the hell I still do haha

She has my ass fucking ass beyatch.....honestly I did have a tiny ass once, my hubtard loves it now though so....yes I am envious of this ass....meh..

and hell fucking yeah I am sooooooooooo envious of this, the kiss that made us all wanna be in her position....often, like c'mon who rewound and watched this over and over again especially when he moans....oh yeah, you know what I'm saying ho's

Still I guess we have time to watch him grow older gracefully and we can sit there and say oooo I remember when I used to drool over him as a young man. Although we probably will still be drooling over him as he is only going to get better with age isn't he?!

Fuck you Mr Pattinson pmsl....yes please without a doubt

So anything you ho's are envious of? Todays the day to get it off your chest. Come on, let it all go....there, there (pats backs)

Good Friday Fun Five!

Happy Good Friday Ho's

Hope you're all ok.  I'm sitting here getting grief from Mr Stan for being on the computer while he tidies the kitchen around me.  He's already put his own touches to the windowsill:

Anyway, before I get yet more abuse, on with this week's FFF.  Last week's winner was Starlit Violets, so over to her :o)

Now - down to business. SmartEpantz was kind (or stupid) enough to pick me as the FFF winner last week. I'll try to achieve a level of jackassery befitting Miss E, herself. Let's get started, shall we?

1. We all experienced the WTF era called the 80's, if not - you're too young to be on this site - so just go! Anyway - the 80's produced some well-known sitcoms from Roseanne to Family Ties, The Cosby Show to 227, Growing Pains to the Facts of Life, and from What's Happening to The Golden Girls, and many many more! Which of the way-too-many 80's sitcoms was/is one of your favorite guilty pleasures? And ladies from around the world - share your 80's sitcoms from your area with us too!

1980s sitcoms UK style ;o)

2. It's 2008... Oh no! You're at the publishing house and accidentally erase Breaking Dawn from all sources. Seizing the opportunity, you replace the entire novel with a five sentence or less ending to the Twilight Saga. Here's your shot ladies!

Image found on Letter to Twilight

3. Let's get into each other's closets to see what's hiding in there... Actually, let's just stop with the clothes, I know enough about you ladies to dig too deep. What is your fashion sense and style? Is there an article of clothing you can't live without? Are you the sporty soccer mom, or the MILF with black leather boots at the PTA (parent/teacher assoc.) meeting?

4. We all know we're ALL a few brain cells shy of what we were born with. But how did that come to be? Did you party? How much? What kinds of illegal substances have you ingested? Give us a brief party history of your life and where you currently stand on the party scale today.

5. What three adjectives will fellow Twitards use to describe you after FFFFOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKSSSSS or any other weekend of drunken debauchery?

 


Well - that's it! The honor has been all mine. I puffy heart all my cuntbiscuits at Twisted Edbrella!!!

Thanks SV, fab questions!  As ever, answers in the comments and SV will choose a winner to do next week's questions.

Have fun!

Community FanFic Thursday-Eclipse

Eeep, it's Thursday and pretty much Easter; not that I'm getting any chocolate stupid diet before surgery grrrr. It's also my son's 14th birthday tomorrow bless him so I guess I will get some chocolate in the form of cake nom, nom, nom...talking of nom have you all been looking at those pictures of Rob in Bel Ami, major nommage there me thinks.

Well hello Mr Pattinson, is that a walking cane in your trousers or are you happy to see me-back off you other beyatches...

Oh bugger sorry this is about Eclipse, tangents remember, I go off on them sigh...

Anyway as you know I'm off work at the moment following getting my back done; thank you to everyone for the kind wishes, emails, etc. It seems to have gone well, I am getting muscle spasms but its a bit like when you go to the dentist and they give you novocaine and ater when it wears off your lip sort of feels half there, half not. I'm also having to realise I can sit properly now and don't have to be a contortionist. It's weird but you do forget how to sit properly lol.

Ooops CFF, sidetracked again! Right well it's all about Eclipse this week and have you seen those pictures of the Cullen Crew-Oh my, how wrong can those wardrobe people be?

Look meaningful, mournful, fuck it just try to look cool in the wigs guys...FAIL

Oompa loompa doompadee doo, I've got the perfect puzzle for you-What the fuck is going on with wardrobe???

They look like a catalogue shoot for denim express or something. I keep expecting Carlisle to put his hand above his eyes and point off in the distance meaningfully and whats with the hair. I feel so sorry for Jasper/Jackson. It's a crying shame. Although by the colour job some witty fan has done he could well be in the next Willy Wonka film!

Right, Eclipse, I'm getting there already, I've been absent you know, verbal diarrhoea backs up!!

He kissed me again, and kept going until my heart was racing and my skin was flushed.

"Look, Edward," I murmured, my voice wheedling, when he paused to kiss the palm of my hand. "I said I would marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."

"Not funny," he murmured against the inside of my wrist.

"What I'm saying is this - I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone -- how often does that happen? -- and you've provided this very large and confortable bed..."

Phwoar...well what shall we make happen next...to bump uglies or not to bump uglies...that is the question...Shakespeare woulda been so proud of me pmsl

My dream analysis thanks to Mrs P

Morning ho's

I sent an a e mail to Mrs P a couple of weeks ago and she's analyzed it for me.

Here's the dream

was at home with Stan, it wasn't where I live now but I knew it was my home. Attached to my house was a tea room and cake shop that I was getting ready to open and Stan was helping me. Then I had a call to say Rob and Kristen were driving through the area and they wanted to stop by for refreshments and to use the bathroom. This made me panic as we hadn't got around to cleaning the bathroom out yet and it was full of dried old leaves and needed a good clean. We spent a long time cleaning it up and making it look really nice by putting some of my produce from the tea shop in there on the shelves!

When we'd done we went to sit in the tea room which had a hatch in the wall that we could see through to the corridor and the bathroom. I saw a group of people come into the corridor and one headed straight into the bathroom, leaving the door part way open. It was a young man who I knew to be an assistant to Rob. He was peeing and looking around him at the same time. He peed on the floor then moved to pee into a water feature in there and also onto a handtowel! I was fuming that he was making a mess in the room we'd taken such care over so I climbed through the hatch and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and started shouting at him. Rob and co from the corridor came in and he apologised to me and asked if he could have a cherry muffin to try.I then glanced through the hatch to see Stan and a load of other women just staring through at us with a WTF look on their faces.

I was then walking along talking to Kristen and Rob was behind us with the rest of the people. She said she liked the muffin but there was a bit on the bottom that was slightly burnt, I said I thought my oven was playing up because I'd made some cakes for my husband last week and they'd caught in the same place.

We all sat on a bench and chatted about I don't know what but I remember feeling happy and content.

The End

That was me keeping it brief PMSL

Here's what Mrs P said

To see a bathroom in your dream is literally a symbol of needing to "relieve yourself".  So, you are frantically cleaning the room and then Rob's assistant walks in and pisses all over everything.  The room was also neglected and full of leaves...so I think this means you are looking for some sort of outlet to relieve some tensions you are having, and you are having a hard time finding it.  Muffins come in to play...and muffins (believe it or not) actually mean "The fruit of your labors".  You hand one to Kristen and it is burnt a little, or she says it is...so you feel as if you are working hard at something and that your best isn't good enough.

 

Basically its a dream about being repressed, you want to find an outlet...you found it in baking, but sometimes you feel as if your best still isn't good enough.

I hope this makes sense!

Hmmmmmmmm interesting stuff. I do have a lot of self doubt regarding my cake decorating, and it's taken me a long time and a lot of courage to start taking orders for them. I've had nothing but positive praise from friends and family about them for a long time, but when you're actually charging people for them that all changes.
Here's a few pics, would you genuinely be happy to pay for them?

                                                               FairyLand

                                                                       18th (obv)

                                                                  Handbag cake for my friends daughter

                                                        Upsy Daisy....cartoon character

                                                           Rob after seeing my cakes ;)

A self indulgent post today but I didn't know what else to do *shrugs*

Mary XOXO