Brand New CFF Blog!

That's right people, we've set up a brand new blog purely dedicated to Community Fan Fic!

Walk this way...

Community Fan Fic

The Locker Room

Hey, it's the Wease here.  Welcome to The Locker Room (Note from Stan ~ I wondered what that smell was...) Edition of Community Fan Fiction. We've dusted off our "dirty thinking caps" because today we will be hosting a "Lisa-fied" version of CFF, which, of course, means ALL SLASH - ALL THE TIME!!

"What? Community Fan Fiction?" You say. "It's not Thursday!"

No, it's not, but today is 17ForeverLisa's birthday, and we've officially declared the day to be

 "Man-Love Wednesday!"

We all know how much Lisa enjoys reading a good slash fic...so pull on your jock straps, girls, and grab yourself *snicker* a "dirty thinking cap" and let's write some lemony goodness of the male variety!

Ok, if you're new to CFF, this is how it works.  We'll start you off with an opener, then everyone joins in to add whatever they like; a sentence, a paragraph - it's all good, but fill it with plenty of man-lovin' goodness in honour of Lisa's birthday!  Oh!  And keep coming back and joining in, it's definitely not a 'one-turn only' experience, the more the merrier!

There's only one rule in CFF, and we learnt this one from experience: leave a comment to say you're taking a turn before going to write your contribution, otherwise it can end up with multiple simultaneous postings and we lose our flow ;o).

Le Sigh...

If you haven't visited the other blogs involved in the celebrations, here's a full list - for clicking on while you wait between turns here of course ;o)

Batter Up http://www.rathgasm101.blogspot.com/

Starting Pitch http://www.thecoldshower.wordpress.com/

HomeRun http://www.dangrdafne.blogspot.com/

First Base http://www.robmusement.blogspot.com/

Second Base http://www.twilightjunkiesanonymous.blogspot.com/

Shortstop http://www.pattinsonpost.tumblr.com/

Third Base http://www.sotwired.blogspot.com/

Home Plate http://www.twibite.blogspot.com/

Extra Innings w/Grand Slam http://www.tonguetwied.blogspot.com/

The Dugout http://www.twikiwi.blogspot.com/

7th Inning Stretch http://www.robzsinger.blogspot.com/

The Beer Vendor http://www.musingbella.blogspot.com/

The Outfield http://www.moondancewithrob.blogspot.com/

Derelicts Underneath the Bleachers http://www.twitarded.blogspot.com/

The Press Box http://www.mamacougar.blogspot.com/

The Locker Room http://www.edbrella.blogspot.com/ <--- You are here!

Spring Training http://www.starlitviolets.blogspot.com/



Ok, Hobags, here we go!  Let's make this slashtastically epic!  (Intro by Becky)

The Locker Room

“Come on, Edward.” I think you can go get changed and join the rest of the team.

“Thanks coach.” I gingerly got up, not wanting another dizzy spell to park me back on my ass. As I straightened up, I was a little unsteady but nothing major. Getting a baseball to the head is a real bitch!

I walked slowly back to the locker room, smiling as I thought about how we'd just annihilated the other team. My pitching had been on fire, they just couldn't handle me today. Well, all but one of them anyway; Jasper Whitlock. He'd managed to hit a home run, the only one his team managed all game. I was almost certain it was because he'd distracted me when he stepped up to the plate. When he did his practice swings, I couldn't take my eyes off his muscles as they rippled under his tight uniform. His thighs were firm as they held him in position. What I wouldn't give to have them hold me in position.

I rounded the corner and stopped in my tracks. There, standing outside the guest team's changing room, was none other than Jasper Whitlock, in all his tight-assed glory. His eyes, roamed the length of my body, lingering over my crotch, before coming up to rest on my face. Fuck, he'd just been checking me out. I wondered if he was interested in playing another game with me and walked over to stand in front of him, holding out my hand for him to shake.

“"Hi, I'm Edward. I bat for the other team."

Well, techinically I pitched, but I hoped he'd get my meaning.

And.....GO!



Might as well finish the week with a Friday Fun Five!

You know, while we've got the place opened and airing, we might as well take advantage, don'tcha think?

"Excellent idea, Stanley!"

So here are five of my lovely questions to keep you busy for a while.  Remember, answers in the comments section and I'll choose a winner when we're all done - if I remember, my brain is pretty shoddy.

Okies, here we go:

1. If you were to run away and join the circus a la Water For Elephants, what would your contribution to the production be?

"What is that ho doing over there?"

2. You're strolling through Manhattan (as we all do from time to time) when the door of a limo stuck in traffic flies open and somebody drags you inside.  Who is it and what happens next? ;o)

3. If you suddenly found yourself with money to burn, would you continue your life the same way i.e. marriage, job, homelife, etc, or would you change aspects of it?

Beach holidays perhaps???



4.  You are visited by an angel.  You are on a crossroads, one way means you can help many people and change the world for the better but you would be poor and struggling - although surrounded by loved ones.  The other way means you get to live the high life with money, sex with beautiful people and mixing with the rich and famous but are racked with guilt, loneliness and will die alone.  Which way do you take?

Forget the crossroads, I'll take the angel...

5.  What's in the bag?

Stan xx



Now Dusting off Community FanFic Thursday!

So, when TwiWeasel was the first one of us to post on here this year and you started to comment, it felt a little like that picture up there.  You know, the one you're probably still looking at now instead of reading this *taps fingers impatiently waiting for everyone to catch up*.  Ok, are you done deciding whether you'd rather be the Stew or the man kneeling behind Rob with a bird's eye view of his arse and his hands on his naked skin?  Good, let's move on.



So, it's been a while, but seeing as a few of you helped TwiWeasel blow some of the cobwebs away yesterday I thought we might as well lift the old Community FanFic tomes down from the shelf and see if we can write another chapter.

"I'm ready, Stan."

OK then, here we go!

    Edward pushed on the door, pausing for a moment when it didn't give at all before shoving it forcefully.  It opened suddenly and he fell into the dark hallway, choking slightly on the cloud of dust that had billowed up as he hit the floor.

  As his coughing subsided, he got to his feet and took a good look around.  His heart grew heavy at the sight that met his eyes.  The building that had once been so full of life and laughter - most of it dirty - now stood neglected.

  Hearing a sudden sound from the kitchen, he moved along the hallway and nudged the door open.  An unexpected sight met his eyes - Jasper!  And he was naked, a fluffy white rooster under his arm.

  "Jas!" gasped Edward, his eyes roaming over his former friend and fuck-buddy's lean. yet muscled body.  "Man, that's some magnificent Silkie cock you have there.  Can I stroke it?" he asked, his attention caught by the rooster.

  "All this time Edward, and the first thing you're asking for a feel of my cock?"  Jasper was shocked at his friend's reaction....

So - who's next?  Remember to post to say if you're going next so we don't have multiples!

"Hey, Stan, can I put my pants back on now?"

Not yet, we haven't finished with you! 

 I hate impatient men *tut*

Hello? Anybody Here?

Holy Crap!! Edbrella Towers is a fucking mess! There's cobwebs and dust all over the place! Damn! Of course, it's not like anyone's been here for months, so it makes sense. Let me apologize for the long absence...Life got busy! Between all of us here, we have like 50 kids (Ka-Ching!!) not to mention that we do actually have real lives! Cut us some slack!

Ok, I'm done making excuses...

Let's see what's up?

Well, for starters, Chimpsten is finally back home after a long visit to the States!

Welcome back, Whore! We missed ya!!


What else?

I can't necessarily answer for the others, but I've been doing a lot of reading lately. Not so much that the kids aren't getting fed regularly, but enough that they may have to go ahead and wear that ratty pair of underwear, waaaaaaay in the back of the drawer, because that's the only clean pair they can find.

Wanna know what I'm reading? Of course you do!

Elusively Yours http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5942709
(Note from Stan ~ *coughing through the dust*  Excellent choice, ho!  I'm so close to 600 reviews too *bats eyelashes at prospective reader/reviewers*)

Dark Wolves and Vampire Delights http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6413373
(Another excellent choice, jeez, you'll be recc'ing Jasper fics next to excite us all!)

All 17 entries of the Dirty Talking Jasper Contest http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2651284/dirtytalkingjasper
(Like I said...)

That should be enough to tide you over. For a while...

Erm...an Edbrella post with no pic of Rob?  I don't think so Wease!



Its the Festive Friday Fun Five Ho Ho Ho's

Wow, well hey, hello, how are you? It's a little dusty in here...someone's not been keeping up with the housekeeping! I'm saying nothing...I hate dusting...only when you can write in it do I deign to get the polish and a cloth out...or if I have visitors then I go mental. If they're good friends or family...meh! They're used to it...but I digress....

Here I am, newly dusted off!!

Oooo it's a Festive Friday Fun Five...

Ooooo can we go there on Fridays please?!

Um so it's been a while...there's been a few up and downs, goings on and a general malaise amongst us to do with blogging. It's not that we don't love Rob or the others, we do but...life goes on and some of us have been writing or baking or just being really, really busy at work. We're all looking forward to BD part 1 and we can't wait for WFE but somehow we've all kinda shifted a little. Not exactly moved on but sorta side stepped a wee bit, a kind of hiatus if you like. But I'm sure we will pop up from time to time and post something so please...keep your alerts on, check back, poke us on FB to see what's happening....so to the questions...

Sigh, we've just been a little down or busy

1) What is the worst Christmas present you have ever received?

Yep this is officially the worst gift I EVER got...thanks Uncle Lol

2) What do you usually do on Christmas Day? Do you have a family traditions you carry out and if so what are they?

We all liked to gather round and stick cactii on our heads

3) What would make your perfect Christmas? Go wild, it doesn't have to be real and there are noooooo recriminations!

Well he would make it pretty perfect hehe

I could really use him about now, bloody snow!



4) Ok you have received a truly hideous gift from your Twilight/True Blood love God, you really cannot stand this present, do you (a) regift it and hope they never find out, even though you all hang with the same people or (b) hide it and just drag it out whenever they're around?

I don't look happy do I? What did he get me?


Perhaps a cartoonized self portrait Xmas card of him

(I'd much rather see a photograph of Eric in pink spandex...sigh, that would be something to treasure lol)

5) How do you use up those Christmas leftovers? LOL well I wonder about these things!

Give em to this guy obviously!

6) Do you have any New Years Resolutions? What are they and do you think you can do it? Or if you'd rather not say they're resolutions, have you decided to have a go at something or change something in 2011?

I love Calvin & Hobbs and this goes for all of you, I love you all the way you are, you're perfect!


Well that's it...if you'd like the FFF to continue then I won't say it will be every week but I don't mind doing the odd one and I'll email whoever wins and get them to send me the questions if I can get hold of them...

Couple of housekeeping things....Take care over the holidays, no drinking and driving..you know what they say....

Merry Christmas you lovely ho bags, have a fantastic time and a Happy New Year to all!

Friday Fun Five is back...

and so am I. They keep leaving the door open. Just sayin'.

We're starting with a clean slate this week. I know you know the rules, but just in case there are some newbies, this is how it works. There will be five random questions, and you will type your answers in the Comments. Don't be shy. Yes, that's a house rule ;) Early next week, someone will be chosen as the winner. That person will pick out the questions for the next FFF and email them to Stan or Nibbles. Easy, right? Right.

Just for shits and giggles, I'm going to put a little spin on it today. Cue the music, please.

"Ladies, let's meet our lucky bachelor...Robert Pattinson!"

*claps, cheers, whistles*



"Rob, behind this computer screen are three crazy h00rs lovely ladies who want to hump date you. You will get to ask five questions and then pick one of them to take home to meet Kristen on a date. Ready with your questions, Rob?"

*nervous laugh*
"I think so, Lisa."

*grabs his ass shoulder and gives it a squeeze*
"Never think, Rob. It will only make you more nervous."

"Bachelorette #1. What was your first pet,
and what is/was its name."

 "Bachelorette #3. I love the quote used in Remember Me

(and Lisa thinks I look really hot in a white linen shirt).

What is one of your favorite quotes from a movie?

Bachelorette #2. Who would you like to see as my next co-star?

(Sorry! Lisa says it can't be you.)

Kate Beckinsale

Bachelorette #1. I hear Jumping Rob is quite a hit. *blushes*

What situation would you put him in that you haven't seen already?

Bachelorette #2. Does size really matter?

"Time's up, Rob. We're going to go to commercial, and when we come back, you'll tell us who the lucky bitch winner is."

Thanks for tuning in!

17foreverlisa

The Return of Community Fanfic!

"That's right ladies, the nob on the Rob is so big, that this is the only way I can stand comfortably."



Heeeeey!  It's been a while, but since you were all good enough to come and ogle Rob's Nob with us, courtesy of TwiWeasel, I thought it might be nice to get the old Thursday CFF out again.

Come and join in, don't be shy!  Hmm, this possibly warrants an ode of its own.

There once was a gaggle of ho's
Who liked to practice their prose
They start off quite clean
But get more obscene
The longer the story goes

Ok, I have a special request for a spot of slash this week from our lovely Becky, author of Dark Wolves & Vampire Delights, go and read & review, it's fab!

Ok, so here goes...

  "I don't know, Edward.  It's just not sounding right."  My best friend Jasper put his guitar down on the bed next to him and lay down, frustrated.  We'd been practicing our latest song for the past hour and a half, and were getting nowhere.

  The door flew open, banging back against the wall.  Filling the doorway was my brother, Emmett. The necks of three beer bottles clutched between the massive fingers of one hand.  He was grinning widely, and I didn't doubt that was down to the fact that he had his other hand on the waist of some gorgeous blonde I didn't recognise.  Although that could have been because I couldn't keep my eyes off her tits.  Hey!  Don't judge!  They were virtually uncovered anyway, her plunging tight top leaving just about nothing to the imagination.

  "Dude, don't you ever knock?" Jasper sniped at him, taking his frustrations about how the rehearsal was going, out on Emmett.  Em laughed.  The beers in his hand were obviously not the first he'd had.
  "Why?  Am I interrupting something?"  He looked at Jas again, taking in his reclined position on the bed.  "Aah!  I get it, Edward here was about to give you a blow job!  Am I right?"

  I cringed.
  "Fuck you, Em."  I was uncomfortable with his ongoing jokes about Jasper and I, not least because that's where my thoughts had been a lot recently, and I was shit-scared and more than a little uncomfortable with it.  Men weren't my thing, they never had been.  Since my split with Bella though, Jas had been really good to me.  I was sure I'd seen him looking at me differently more than once, but I'd quickly disspelled it.

  "Oh well then,"  Emmett said, turning to the girl in his arms.  "Irina, maybe you'd like to help Jas here out?"
  "Sure, honey," she told him, smiling widely at him with her dazzling white teeth.  I backed away from the bed, unable to keep the discomfort from my face.  Jas caught my eye and gave me one of those looks again.  I hadn't imagined them at all, I knew I hadn't.  Em came to stand by me and handed me a beer.  I took a deep drink from the bottle, urging the cold liquid to cool the heat of embarrassment creeping across my cheeks.  I didn't think I'd ever get used to this aspect of life in a successful band. 

  Emmett pointed and laughed as Irina unbuttoned Jas's jeans and pulled his already hard cock out.  My eyes were drawn to it.  As much as I tried to avert my eyes,  I couldn't.  I felt someone watching me.  Him again. 

Ok hobags, take it and run!  Do with it what you will!



Ode to Rob's Nob... (NSFW)

100% All Beef Thermometer

Trouser Snake

Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger

Man Meat



Schlong

Dong

Junk

Pecker

Willy

Johnson

Anaconda

Baby Arm

Pudding Thrower

Balony Pony

r

Peter

Dick

One Eyed Willy

Cock

Sausage



Mule

Peter

Spicy Pepperoni



Steel Shaft

Maleness

Manhood

Rockstar

Disco Stick

Rod

Peen

OK, so "ode" might be pushing it a little too far.

*shrug*

But, I know for a fact that these are not the only slang words for penis.

Tell me more...in the comments.

Pic courtesy of those dirty ho's at RobManiPorn